Title: R-a-S/R-a-J/NFR "The Trouble With Clones" & "Back to Good"
Author: Per'agana & Crysta Novelli, plus Gillian Taylor and Ziggy
Disclaimer: We're not writing for profit, just for fun, so keep your lawyers busy with something else!  All the SW characters belong to Lucasfilm.  The title was borrowed from Matchbox 20. No infringement intended, we only write for fun.
Feedback: Sure!

Note from Per'a: This is an offshoot from Ziggy's Luke smut installment of R-a-J. Thanks to Ziggy and Crysta for inspiring this. Apologies to the list for having to put up with another pokemon, but, well, Liz needed some power for once! :) Don't worry, he won't show up very often. And he's not cute. :)

Note from Crysta:  Thanks to Ziggy and Per'agana for the inspiration, and MANY, MANY thanks to Per'a for offering suggestions and beta'ing to make sure I did the Sith part of this installment justice!  Oh, and major apologies to the list for the angst factor we're introducing...

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Title: The Trouble With Clones, part 1
Author: Per'agana

The months since Thanksgiving had mostly been quiet, but this week was the exception. It was only Wednesday, and it had already been a hell of a day. First one of the pipes burst in the laundry room.  Then the guy who delivered the supplies for both Rent-a-Jedi and Rent-a-Sith slipped and fell outside
the loading dock and threatened to sue. Finally Gill from the new No Force Rentals came over perplexed by the bizarre Rent-a-Jedi billing system that she'd inherited. I spent a couple of hours going over the accounting software with Gill- a task complicated by the fact that neither of us were an accountant and by the fact that a steady stream of both Jedi and Sith had beat their way to my office door to ask when the washing machines would useable again. Ziggy, strangely, was completel  missing during this fracas. I checked her schedule, but she wasn't at class. Odder still, Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan acted very suspiciously when I asked them if they'd seen her. Weird.  

Still, the constant cacophony of problems meant that I didn't have time to worry about it.  When a few moments' peace finally came my way, it was about the last thing on my mind. I reached for the painted boxes holding my treasured holocron with relish- I hadn't had nearly enough time to study Exar's reclaimed Sith artifact since we'd recovered it on Thanksgiving. I had only managed to activate the device and greet the Sith spirit inside when I became aware that another problem was headed my way. I wish I could say I felt his presence in the Force, but in reality the bulldozer noise made by his heavy frame stomping down the hallway was all the warning anyone could ever need. I quickly deactivated the holocron and swept it into its box, just placing the box back on the shelf when Vader barged in, followed closely by Ulic Quel-Droma. 

I gave them my long-practiced jaded look. "And what can I do for you two?"

Vader folded his arms across his chest. "We would like to complain."

I rolled my eyes. "What else is new? What is it this time? Clearly it isn't the washing machine, since your armor has to be dry-cleaned. What, the drain on your *new* bathroom give out too?"

Vader waved a hand, constricting my throat with the Force and very effectively ending my attempt at sarcasm. He watched me thrash around for several seconds, then let me go. The rage this kindled in me helped mitigate the damage. Still, I doubted I'd speak above a croak anytime soon.

He pounded a fist on my desk. "It's that clone closet!  You will close it down at once," he commanded.

"It's harming our profit ratio," Ulic chimed in, sounding very annoyed and just slightly whiny. I wondered if he'd been a Skywalker in a former life.

I raised both eyebrows. This was about the last thing I expected- or wanted- to deal with. "What about it?"

"They've gone too far this time." Ulic chirped. "First they clone the General. TWICE!  And now they've cloned that rustic little farmboy.  This is quite enough! When do *we* get a clone?"

"I don't think anyone will be cloning either of you anytime soon. One is more than enough," I said irritably. "Wait a minute...farmboy? They cloned *Luke*? How do you know that?" I glared at Ulic.   

Ulic stood tall in the face of my annoyed glare.  "Well, I just..." He paused, obviously trying to think of an excuse. "Oh, all right. Vader told me," he said, admitting what I'd suspected. Ulic was too new here to be leading Vader around by the nose. This complaint had to have been Vader's idea.

"Great. Now how do *you* know?" I thundered, turning to face Vader.

"I felt him in the Force. Like my son, but *not* my son. They have gone too far with this."

I thought for a moment. Cloning Qui and Obi made sense, since there were way too many requests for both of them to meet adequately and still have time to eat, sleep, and be Jedi. I supposed even the General made *some* sense, since it was but another Obi-Wan, but *Luke*?? He was occasionally requested, but not enough to warrant a clone. And the only person he was seeing outside of work was that Crysta girl. It's not like anyone was interested in... oh, no. I buried my head in my hands for a moment, suddenly figuring it out. Sure, there was someone else interested. Ziggy. I looked back at Ulic and Vader, almost glad to see them. After all, they were almost the *only* men in this building that hadn't at least made a pass at Ziggy at some point.  "Okay. I'll take care of it."

The two Sith looked surprised. They hadn't expected me to agree so quickly. I waved my hands at them. "Out, out. I have work to do. I promise I'll look into it, okay?"

Vader predictably shook his fist at me. "See that you do," he said maliciously.

I rolled my eyes and reached for the holocron as they marched back down the hallway.  I could stand up to Vader all I wanted, but I knew he had all the power. He could Force- choke me any time he wanted to- my own Force power could never repel him. Only the threat of a reprisal from Kun held him back.

"He won't, don't worry," said an unexpected voice at the doorway. I jumped, trying to hide the holocron.

Exar Kun sauntered in, closing the door behind him. "I masked my presence, but then, anyone of sufficient power could. Even a Jedi. You must learn to be more careful."

I lowered my eyes, knowing he was right. Being able to keep the holocron and learn  from it was an honor, but also a risk. It had taken the Jedi weeks to stop searching for it. I needed to remember that fact.

"How far have you gotten with it?"

I grimaced. "Not nearly far enough. People keep bothering me!"

"I am worried about your progress. You need to learn faster. You neglect your studies because you are pining away for Lord Maul." He said that last with a contemptuous sneer.

I glared back. I knew he was right, but I was completely unwilling to admit it-- even if he  *could* just pull it out of my mind. That aside, I *did* miss Maul. The fact that he occasionally worked for Rent-a-Sith didn't interfere with his missions for Sidious. He also went on mysterious trips of his own. He never spoke of them, but I suspected that he was trying to shore up his power and resources incase his master ever uncovered  his duplicity. He hadn't said, but I sensed that this mission was one of his own. I tried not to let his absence affect me, but I knew things weren't really the same with him gone. I didn't have the same feeling of things just being "right" with him gone, and things were also a bit tense between Kun and I- I was beginning to realize that somehow Maul's solid presence helped balance Kun's excesses. With Maul gone, Kun could at times be an egotistical nightmare. Sometimes I felt that he didn't truly take me seriously, but perhaps he didn't take *anyone* seriously but himself.

"Is this why you're here? To berate me?" I said irritably.

Kun raised an eyebrow. "No. Actually, I am here to tell you to keep Monday night free."

"What, am I being asked on a date with the Dark Lord of the Sith?" I asked skeptically.

"Not exactly. I want to better monitor your progress in the Force. I suppose I can also see to it that you're pleasured adequately."

"Why Monday? Oh...you can't mean because it's Valentine's Day, can you?" I hooted with laughter.  "I'm a Sith, Kun! I couldn't care less about V-Day!"

He glared back at me, annoyed with my merriment. "You *are* from Earth, are you not?"

"Not all Earth girls give a rat's ass, Exar. Though I appreciate the thought." I tried to hide my amusement at the thought of a Sith trying to be romantic-- even though I knew that was the last thing on his mind. If he wasn't doing this for his own gain, he wouldn't be doing it, period. If pleasuring me would keep me in line during Maul's absence, that's what he would do.

"Perhaps I shouldn't have bothered," he said coldly, heading for the door.

I sobered. "Exar, wait. I'm just...surprised, that's all. I mean, I *am* curious as to whether there's a Sith equivalent of Valentine's Day, now that you mention it."
 
He stepped close to me, again confident in his power and control. "I thought we could discuss conquest," he said, his long fingers skimming across my upturned face. "The future Empire of the Sith, and your place in it."

I nearly turned into a puddle on the spot. "Well, Gods, when you put it *that* way!" I looked at him and watched amusement dance in his viridian eyes.

His fingers curled in my hair and pulled me to him, his lips claiming mine. His tongue probed into my mouth and mine twined serpentlike with his. Just when I was beginning to feel the fiery sparks of passion arc between us, he pulled away from me. "So, what did Vader want?" he asked flatly, completely breaking the mood. Punishment for my laughter earlier.

"Nothing. He just wanted to bitch about the clone closet," I said crossly, trying to stop the throbbing need between my thighs.

"What about it?"

"Oh, I guess the Jedi cloned Luke Skywalker so Ziggy could finally get what she wanted."

Exar raised an eyebrow, a calculating look on his face.

"What are you up to?" I asked, almost afraid to hear an answer. I knew *that* look all too well.

He smiled that cruel little smile of his. "I have something to take care of. I will stop by to later to review your studies, apprentice." With that he turned and swept out the door.

I watched him go, frowning after him. Yet again I felt powerless compared to someone stronger in the Force. That feeling was really beginning to get tiresome, I thought as I locked my office and headed for the Jedi side.

********************************************************

I knew the clone closet was in the room assigned to Diebin, so I headed there first. I nearly ran into Luke as he walked out of Ziggy's room. What in the universe was he doing in *there*? I wondered if a test would answer my curiosity. "Hey, Luke! What's up?" I said cheerily.

He smiled back. "Not much!"

I watched him go his room thinking "Clone. Definitely a clone." Luke hadn't been nearly that nice to me ever since the fracas at Thanksgiving with him, me, and Crysta in Ziggy's office.

I ran into Crysta as I reached the bottom of the stairway. More specifically, I ran into Crysta, Obi-Wan, and Qui-Gon, the latter two doing an admirable attempt at blocking duty. She's definitely not going to appreciate this, I thought, trying to decide if I should warn her. No, I wouldn't, I decided. Not really. I was still more than a little annoyed at what she'd thought about me and the Sith when I'd last encountered her. I chimed in as the two Jedi warned her against going upstairs. When she asked why not, I replied, "Because you won't like what you'll find up there.  Take my advice, Crysta - don't go up there."

I was suddenly tired of the whole place. Of powerful Sith threatening and manipulating me. Of  superior Jedi expecting me to cater to them. Of people making clones to suit their every little whim. I was irritated and generally fed up, so I ran out of the building and headed for the little park next door. It was a nice day, and I knew I could really use some meditative peace and quiet for a while.

It wasn't to be. I heard a lot of yelling as I went into the park, the voice vaguely familiar.

"Oh, come *on* Charizard! Aren't you ever going to obey me??" whined a young boy.

I turned the corner and looked at the tableau in front of me- Ash, the grocer's son from next door, and his Pikachu were standing in front of a huge orange lizard with wings and fire at the tip of its tail. Ash and Pikachu looked annoyed. The lizard was taking a nap.

I looked at this curiously. Heck, if someone whined at *me* as plaintively as Ash whined at...what did he call the lizard?...I didn't think *I* would obey, either! The interesting thing was the lizard. So far, the two Pokemon I'd seen were almost frighteningly cute. They were dangerous in their own way, but it was mitigated by their relentless, sometimes cloying cuteness. This lizard was nothing like that. He was big, mean-looking, and, well, kinda Sithly. I started to get a very interesting idea.

"Saaay, Ash," I started, walking up to him.

I must have startled him. He whipped around and looked at me, obviously trying to place me.

"I'm Liz, from next door," I prompted. "You lent your Jigglypuff to my friend Exar Kun."

He brightened. "Oh yeah, right! Um, how are you?"

I smiled, no doubt a smile that looked every bit as malicious and calculating as Kun's. "I wonder if I could borrow that lizard for a little while?"

He looked blankly at me, then recovered. "You mean Charizard? Um, why? I mean, he won't listen to you! He doesn't listen to anybody," the kid said dejectedly.

"I think I can fix that. You got a spare one of those little balls?"

He handed me a familiar red-black-and-white pokeball. I walked up to the Charizard and waved my hand in front of its face. "You want to come with me. You want to get in this ball."

The lizard opened his eyes and looked at me. With a deep growl, he stood, formed into an orange mist, and flowed into the ball. I looked back at Ash and shrugged. "Hey, it's all in the technique!" And the mind whammy, I added silently.

"Huh? Aaawwww. How come he obeyed *you*?!?" he whined.

"Look, don't worry. I'll bring him right back. Now, could you tell me what his attacks are?"

The kid spent a few moments going over what Charizard could do. I tried to hide my excitement as I ran back to the building, heading immediately for Darth Diebin's room. I slipped inside, and let the Charizard out of his little ball, commanding his considerable bulk into the closet-somehow, he actually fit. Hey, I thought, if Ziggy can do it, so can I. And besides, *this* should really restore some of the power balance around here!


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Title: The Trouble With Clones, part 2
Author: Crysta Novelli

It was a gorgeous day outside. Sure, it was cold, but the sun was shining, the snow was beginning to melt, and the best part of the day was that it was only early afternoon and I had all of my homework done! It had to be an omen of some sort... Luke and I had even cancelled my training session so that I could get caught up on all the homework I'd been putting off the last few weeks so that I could concentrate more on my Force training. Since the homework hadn't taken nearly as long as I'd expected it to, I figured I'd drop by the R-a-J complex and see what everyone (and a certain Jedi in particular) was up to.

Mace Windu waved to me as I entered the lobby. "So, did you hear about Artoo?" he asked, grinning slyly.

"Uh oh... Now what did the little trouble-maker do?" I asked, almost afraid of the answer. That droid was often a blessing in disguise, but more often than not, he seemed to cause more trouble than he was worth.

"Oh... he just got into the alcohol again..." Mace said slowly and I groaned. You'd never have thought a droid could get drunk, but Artoo seemed to have it down to a science. "Only this time, his drink of choice was *rubbing* alcohol..." he finished with a loud guffaw, and I sighed.

Just then Ziggy's protocol droid, T, shuffled in. "T, how's Artoo?" I inquired.

"Oh, he's fine, Mistress Crysta," the droid responded. Good - I wasn't going to worry about it, then. 

Mace was still laughing to himself as I headed deeper into the complex, intending to swing by Ziggy's office on my way up to Luke's room. As I passed down the hallway, I heard my name whispered in the Force. Stopping, I turned to look into the nearest room and saw a large shadow that was surrounded by dark energy. I considered ignoring it, but by turning and acknowledging the fact that I'd heard him, I'd already lost that game. 

"Can I help you?" I asked the foreboding figure.

"No, but perhaps I can help you," Exar Kun replied in a deep voice.

"Oh really?" I said with a slightly sarcastic edge to my voice. A Sith lord wanting to help? That was a laugh!

"I know you won't believe me, but I think you may want to have a word with that *Jedi* you've been pleasuring of late." The word 'Jedi' was flung from his tongue as if it were a piece of spoiled fruit.

I narrowed my eyes at him and refrained from saying anything. Just *what* was he getting at?

"Never mind," he replied thickly. "I just thought I'd let you know that I think you deserve better." 

And with that, he turned and disappeared into the shadows.

Shaking my head, I turned and walked the rest of the way to Ziggy's office, not giving Kun's words another thought. I knocked on her office door, but no one answered. Turning the handle, I found it locked. Well, it was possible she was still in classes...

Shrugging, I turned and headed for the stairs. As I neared the corner of the hallway, two familiar presences identified themselves in the Force.

"Crysta!" the padawan exclaimed as I rounded the corner. The master was less vocal, but he was clearly as surprised to see me as Obi-Wan was. 

Their reactions startled me. Ever since Luke and I had become an item, I'd been spending a *lot* of time at the complex, and we'd all become very good friends, so why my presence here would surprise them was beyond me.

"Weren't you supposed to be at home catching up on your homework, young one?" Qui asked.

"All done!" I replied happily. 

"Oh, well um... Luke's not here!" Obi-Wan piped up. 

"Yeah, right," I responded. "You're a terrible liar, Braid-boy," I informed him, smiling.

"Actually, Crys, he's *not* up there," Qui-Gon responded, stepping closer to me.

"Right," Obi added, also stepping into my personal space. "You have no reason to go upstairs..." he said.

"I have no reason to go upstairs," I repeated slowly.

"Obi-Wan!" the master scolded, snapping me out of the spell.

"Sorry," he said sheepishly.

I glared at the padawan. "If you *ever* try that again, I swear I'll-"

Qui-Gon cut me off by stepping even further into my space and softly cupping my chin in his large hand. "Crysta," he said, but that was as far as he got. I made the mistake of looking up into his eyes, and something stirred in me that I'd never felt before. Not with Qui-Gon, at least... He and I had always been friends, and I'd looked to him as a mentor, but nothing more. But then I'd never been this close to him before, either.

His blue eyes twinkled with something akin to desire, and I shivered involuntarily as his lips closed over mine. I stood there, immobilized, as his lips caressed mine with infinite gentleness. 

This was definitely out of the ordinary. I'd never felt *any* attraction to Qui-Gon before - why was this happening? Just then I remembered something Luke had said to me months earlier, about Qui-Gon being interested in me. I'd found it interesting at the time, but had forgotten about it after he had never done anything to act on that supposed attraction.

And now he was kissing me.

I raised my hands to try and push him away, but he held my hands and kept me from doing so. His tongue danced teasingly over my lips and I finally gave in.

I knew Luke wouldn't be jealous, and if the Master wanted to know what it was like to kiss me, where was the harm in that? I parted my lips and gave him access, only to find his tongue snaking deep into my depths. He stroked mine, and the Force twirled around us like a soft summer breeze. Something stirred deep inside me again, and I found myself responding to his tongue and meeting his challenge.

When he finally pulled away, we were both breathless. I leaned back against the wall behind me to try and catch my breath, and was immediately assaulted by another pair of warm lips.

These lips belonged to a certain adorable padawan. A padawan who *knew* he was adorable and more often than not used that to his advantage. He and I were used to tossing comments back and forth at each other, but he'd always known that they were always offered in good taste and that nothing would ever come of them. I loved Luke, Luke loved me, Obi loved Selah, and Selah loved Obi and Qui, and we were all happy with that. We just had fun teasing each other.

But now, he had finally crossed that unspoken line between us. Perhaps seeing Qui take the advantage had given him the gall to try his hand, so to speak, or perhaps he was just feeling overly friendly today. Whatever the reason, I couldn't deny the fact that there was yet another set of foreign lips caressing mine.

I sighed softly, figuring, what the hell - it *was* just Obi-Wan, after all... And I'd never denied the attraction I'd felt a few times for him. He wasn't Luke, but he was still a highly attractive man, and I *was* only female...

His tongue met mine, and I consented, playing with him this one time. I still couldn't believe that Qui-Gon had kissed me... of the two, I'd have guessed that Obi would have been the first (actually, I always thought that he was the only one that had a snowball's chance in Tatooine of ever succeeding at that one), and now it was a reality. Not surprisingly, he was an excellent kisser. His tongue twined expertly with mine, in a rhythm that was much different than Luke's. He pulled back slightly to suck on my lower lip, and as he did so I felt a hand slide over a slightly lower part of my body. 

Before he even knew what was happening, Obi-Wan was across the room, slumped against the wall.

Shaking his head, he looked up dazed. Qui-Gon had an equally surprised expression on his face.

"A kiss is one thing, Braid-Boy," I informed him, still breathing heavily from lack of oxygen, "but you crossed the line. Our relationship is not like that, and you know it." I wasn't angry, just surprised that he'd had the gall to actually try caressing my breast. I hadn't even thrown him against the wall in anger, and I had been careful to only daze him, not hurt him. I just needed to remind him of his place, and of our "friendship".

"I... I'm sorry, Crys..." he stammered. "You're right, I shouldn't have. I guess I just forgot who I was with... You're amazing, you know that? A man could get totally lost in you, and not have any idea which way was up."

I nodded slightly, and offered him a hand. He accepted it, and I helped him off the floor.

"He's right, Crysta," Qui-Gon said softly. "Luke is a really lucky man."

I smiled. "Thanks guys, but don't forget - you love Selah," I said pointedly.

"Yes, we do. But just because we're attracted to you doesn't mean we love Selah any less." 

"No, but things are going to get pretty awkward around here if everyone's attracted to everyone else, don't you think? We'll have a regular soap opera on our hands!" I countered, smiling.

Qui-Gon nodded, getting my point, and apologized. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have - I honestly don't know what came over me."

"Ah, it's okay. You're forgiven," I replied. "Just don't let it happen again!" I said good-naturedly, with a deliberate glance to Obi-wan.

He smiled sheepishly, and I turned to go up the stairs.

"No, wait!" Obi exclaimed. "Crysta, please - don't go up there."

I looked at him quizzically. "Why not?"

"Because you won't like what you'll find up there," a new voice chimed into our conversation and all three of us turned to look.

"Take my advice, Crysta - don't go up there," Liz said as she walked right through us and down the hall.

I stared after her retreating figure, wondering just *what* was going on with everyone today. I'd only been in the building 15 minutes, and already a million strange things had happened to me. Qui, Obi, and Liz didn't want me going upstairs (now *Liz* not wanting me upstairs was interesting!), and Exar Kun, who before this time had never spoken to me, felt the need to warn me about Luke. 

Well, that made up my mind. I was going upstairs.


~~~~~~~~~~~

Luke had given me a key to his room long ago, and I slipped it out as I approached his door. It probably wasn't locked, since I could sense him in the room, but it was a habit - when I approached my living quarters, I always had my key ready before I got there.

I pressed the door latch, and it wasn't locked. Luke was standing across the room and he was halfway out of his shirt.

"Hey, handsome," I greeted him, smiling.

"Crysta!" he exclaimed, turning around and dropping the shirt to the ground. 

Okay, something was rotten in the state of Denmark, and I intended on finding out what it was.

"Why is everyone so surprised to see me today?" I asked, knowing that I'd at least get a straight answer from *him*.

"Qui and Obi told me that you'd be out of the picture today," he said, somewhat defensively.

"Yeah... *you* knew that I was planning on spending today doing homework... but I finished, and I'm here, and why is that a problem?" Now I was *really* confused. Something was wrong here, but I couldn't quite put my finger on it. And I figured it best to ignore the obvious "out of the picture" comment. He didn't quite mean it the way it sounded.

"Oh, it's not a problem," he replied, relaxing. "I was just surprised, that's all. I'm going to take a shower now, if you don't mind..."

I smiled back at him then. He was just his normal, adorable self today, and I was just crazy. Listening to other people and not the Force will do that to you, though.

"Sure, go ahead. I wish I would have gotten here earlier, though - I love working out with you." I always jumped at a chance to work out with him. Not only did we always have a great time together, but he was an excellent swordsman and I learned a lot from him. It was amazing how far I'd come in my Force ability, considering Luke had only discovered my talent a few months ago. And then there were the workouts we got *afterwards*, with a different kind of swordplay... I grinned at that thought.

"Oh, I don't think you would have wanted anything to do with today's workout," he replied without turning around. "It was one of those *other* workouts, and you don't seem like the type who likes threesomes."

"Wwwwwhat?" I asked as the smile disappeared from my face. I couldn't have heard that right. He'd said that without the slightest hint of teasing behind it.

He turned around, and I reached out to him with the Force. *Something* was not right about him...

"You're serious? You didn't have appointments scheduled for today..." 

"Oh, this workout wasn't business," he replied, smiling.

"WWWHAT?" My jaw landed on the floor, and my eyes were popping out of my head. Okay, there was a logical explanation for this. Yup. Of course there was. Breathe, Crys. He'll explain. Just let him. And *breathe*!

Shaking my head in an odd sort of rhythm, trying to understand, I asked, "Who were you with?"

"Selah," he replied, grinning. Grinning. He was *grinning*!

"You. Just. Had. Sex. With. SELAH??????" 

Okay. Breathe, Crysta. 

In. 

Out.

In.

Now, Selah is my friend, and I don't really care *who* she sleeps with, and yes, Luke sleeps with more women that I care to think about, but after all we'd talked about over the last several months... This was crazy. Insane. 

Breathe.

My shock obviously hit Luke like a ton of bricks, because his face sobered up quickly. Good, the bastard. He had some explaining to do! Never, in a *million* years would I have expected this from him. Not without him at least discussing it with me first. We talked about *everything*!

"Wait..." he said. "He didn't tell you, did he?" Oh, this was great. Now *he* was the confused one, huh?

"No, *he* didn't tell me," I replied sarcastically. "Just what was *he* supposed to tell me?" As if I was supposed to know who *he* was.

"I'm not your Luke, Crysta," he said. "I'm SELAH'S! Luke."

"Excuse me?" Okay. Calm. Deep breath. This is a dream. No, a nightmare, but whatever it was, it wasn't real. The man in front of me was not really there. I was hallucinating. All those stupid insecurities buried deep within me were messing with my mind. Luke loved me with all his heart.

But there was no love being projected from the man before me. Not along the bond he and I shared, at least. But how...? 

I stared at him open-mouthed, speechless. Finally, I found a voice. It was not a kind voice, though. "Great. Fine. Any idea where *my* Luke went?" The words were harsh, but his had been far worse. My heart felt ripped in two - this could *not* be happening. Not to me. Not to *us*!

"No, I'm not really sure... He should be back soon, though..." There was the voice of my Luke again. I was *massively* confused. He was speaking in metaphors and piercing my heart with the white hot heat of a lightsabre.

"Sure. Fine. Whatever," I responded, turning around. There was something really wrong with this, with him, with everything. My world was spinning upside down and backwards, and I couldn't believe it. 

"If *my* Luke ever decides to come back, tell him he owes me an explanation," I shot over my shoulder as I headed for the door.

"Wait, Crysta," he called, but I ignored him and walked out of the room, only half aware of what I was doing.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

I made it to the second step from the bottom before my knees gave out and I slumped to the ground in a heap. I raised my knees to my chest and buried my face in them as my senses caught up to the shock and tears began to trickle down my face. Slowly, my shoulders began to shake with sobs, and I leaned against the wall for support.

It wasn't the fact that he'd slept with Selah... Well, yes, in a way, it *was* because he had. After all that we'd *all* talked about concerning her attraction to Luke, and her love for him, we'd all decided it was for the best if he didn't. He and I were head over heels in love with each other, and Selah understood and respected that... 

And yes, because of his job, he slept with hundreds of women. He wasn't in nearly as high a demand as Obi and Qui were, but there *were* literally hundreds of women out there that wanted him, and he'd obliged, because of his job. Yes, this bothered me. How could it not bother me? I knew that Selah and Liz dealt with the same emotions each time Obi, Qui, and Maul went to work, and that it wasn't just me being jealous. It was hard to know that your lover's occupation (besides being a Jedi (or Sith)) was to make love to women on demand, but we dealt with it because we knew that no matter what happened, they *loved* us, and would always love us. They may get pleasure from those other women, but we knew that they loved us with all their hearts and we could take comfort in that fact that we were their one and only, and that they gave us everything they had, and always would.

Except now that love was gone. The man that I'd just exchanged words with upstairs was *not* the man that had pledged his love to me countless times before. It was not the man that knew me better than I knew myself, or the man that came to me when he needed to just be held. What was wrong with him? It couldn't be me... I hadn't changed that much overnight! He loved me, I *knew* he did... At least, he'd loved me last night; he'd loved me for the last two and a half months. A love that strong doesn't just disappear, does it???

I pulled my knees tighter up against myself as I felt a dark, looming presence approach.

"Go away," I muttered stonily into my lap. The last thing I was in the mood for was an annoying Sith lord.

To my chagrin, he sat down on the stairs beside me.

"I'm sorry." Kun's voice was surprisingly soothing to my ears. I tensed as his fingers drifted softly across my back. He paused, but didn't remove them.

"Go away. Please." My voice sounded weak, yet harsh. I didn't like how close he was to me.

"You deserve better, Crysta," the Sith lord said, lightly brushing his fingers over my back in an uninvited, extremely intimate gesture. "The Jedi is a weak-minded fool who doesn't know what he has. He wouldn't know how to treat a woman if his life depended upon it."

"No, that's not true," I said, but the words sounded hollow to my own ears.

"Would he have done that if he'd truly *loved* you?" His voice was thick, deep, and intoxicating. The word 'love' seemed to stick to his tongue though, emphasizing just what he thought of the concept.

His fingers continued to caress my back in a gesture that was strangely soothing, fueled by the intense energy seeping from him. This man was strong, but I couldn't trust him. He was *Sith*!

"No, please - just go away," I repeated, pleading. I felt so helpless next to his power, and all I wanted was to find a deep hole and crawl inside it. 

"It's okay to be angry, Crysta," the dark stranger told me. "Let it out. The bastard Jedi deserves to be castrated for his actions, and you have *every* right to be angry."

No. Calm. Jedi remain calm.

"Fuck the Jedi!" His voice came suddenly, piercing the silence of the hallway. "Those stupid fools wouldn't know how to deal with a real problem if it came up and bit them in the ass! You have feelings, and every right to let them show! Bottle them up inside and it won't be long until you cease being human and turn into yet another stupid, brainwashed, Jedi drone."

He had a point. I *did* have feelings, and dammit, I was pissed. Pissed at Luke, pissed at Selah, pissed at Obi and Qui, because they obviously knew about it as well. I was hurt, and it was all their fault. Damn it!

I buried my head deeper into my lap, if that were possible, and balled up my fists. I'd be okay in a little bit - letting off a little steam wouldn't hurt me any. If anything, it would make me feel a little better in the short run.

"Yes, that's it. Good..." Kun's voice was *definitely* intoxicating. I inhaled sharply as his breath brushed my cheek at his last word. He was close - *too* close. I looked up to ask him to leave once again, only to be hypnotized by the deep emerald eyes I met. The paleness of his skin, contrasted by the dark hair framing his face made the image before me even more striking, and harder to ignore.

Something stirred deep inside me. It was a familiar feeling to me, yet strangely intense for someone I technically should not even be able to tolerate...

"THAT is the mindless Jedi gibberish they've been tainting you with," he snarled. "Why don't you listen to yourself for a change? What does your heart tell you?"

My heart. That was the organ that hurt most right now - the one that felt as if it had been severed in two. The one that wouldn't be able to find its way out of a paper bag right now if it had to. I remembered the emptiness I'd felt when I reached for Luke along our bond and shivered. I hadn't felt so alone in a very, *very* long time.

Kun's arm snaked around me a comforting gesture and he pulled me close, then stood, bracing me and helping me off the stairs. I leaned into him, reluctant to go anywhere. I contemplated prying up the floor boards and hiding beneath them, but then decided that it would take more energy than I had.

"Come," Kun intoned. "You can't let your anger out here - the Jedi will not understand. They *can't* understand. They would do anything to stop, to *blame you, for expressing those emotions to which you are so richly entitled." His words were harsh and accusatory, and I shivered at their intensity. 

I nodded slightly, then leaned into him and let him lead me away from the stairs. I wasn't quite sure where we were going or if my going with him was the right thing to do, but my mind was still in overload and at this point in time I wasn't even sure which way was up.

~~~~~~~~~

"Now..." Exar Kun commanded, "Let your anger out. You are safe here - no one will find you, and no one will harm you. Tell me *exactly* what you think of the bastard you've been pleasuring lately."

I inhaled deeply. I didn't want to think about it. It was so much easier to just let it fade from memory and let a Jedi calm sweep over me...

"NO!" the Sith lord roared at me with a sudden ferociousness that chilled me to the bone. "Release your anger! Tell me *exactly* what you think of the two-timing, no good, son of a bitch that's been getting his pleasure from you for so long!"

I was taken aback. He'd said he was going to help, and he'd been so kind, and now he was yelling at me??? How the hell was this supposed to make me feel better??

"Yes, get mad at me, Crysta. You have much anger in you, and you won't feel better until you release it. Throw it at me - I can take it. Do not worry about being cruel to me." His voice was still harsh, but it had softened a tad.

I inhaled deeply once again, this time feeling the rage funneling around me. It seemed to be everywhere, and as I reached out to the Force, it was all I felt. The anger and betrayal I felt rose to the surface, spiraling madly like a twisting hurricane that demanded release. The cruel words Luke had spoken to me swirled in my mind. 

"Damn him!" I cried out. "How *dare* he do this to me? After all I gave him, after all we shared... I trusted him with my heart, and he ripped it right out of my chest!"

"AAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!" I screamed, turning to the wall and slamming my fists into it hard enough that I'd probably have bruises later. The anger poured out of me and into the energy circulating throughout the room, and as it flowed out of me, I began to sob into the wall.

I felt large hands grip my shoulders, but I roughly shrugged them off and turned away. The Sith lord would have none of that, however, and I found myself suddenly flipped around so that my back pressed against the wall and his eyes were mere inches from mine. I stared defiantly into his eyes, and he responded by roughly assaulting my lips with his own.

His tongue stabbed at my lips, demanding entrance, and I tried to refuse, but the energy cascading around us was too much for me, and I gave in, sagging against the wall. My lack of response didn't deter him in the least, however, and his tongue plundered my mouth repeatedly, stroking mine and eliciting a moan from my depths.

His long fingers slid through my hair and caressed my face as his arousal pressed into my hip. He continued to steal my oxygen and I surprised myself by hungrily devouring him in return. My reaction fueled his desire even more, and his hands roughly ran down the length of my body, stirring reactions and desires I'd *never* felt before. There was a savageness to his assault of my body that should have repulsed me and scared the hell out of me, but something in the undercurrent of the atmosphere struck me, causing a burning desire for this utterly vile man.

Before I knew what was happening, my shirt and bra were on the floor and a warm mouth closed over my right breast, causing me to arch my back into him. Kun caught me in his arms and swept me up, carrying me to the bed and depositing me on the satin sheets.

He crawled onto the bed next to me and resumed his attack on my senses and my body responded in turn. He suckled my breasts with a force so fierce it hurt, yet it was so alluring and amazing that I wanted more. He was so different from Luke, so vicious, so powerful... He was exactly what I needed, and no matter how loud my mind screamed that this was wrong and that I should leave, it would be a cold day on Tatooine before I left this room.

His hands drifted down over my stomach, leaving long trails of fire burning on my skin. Long, nimble fingers found the button on my pants and swiftly opened it, then worked the zipper down. Before I could think about what was happening, my pants were gone and my underwear was close behind it.

"Ahhh!" I gasped as a long finger penetrated my sopping depths. The stimulations this man created within me were incredible, and I could barely hold myself together as yet another finger pierced me. 

"Yes..." he urged in a deep, sensuous voice. "Release your passion, and your anger!" His fingers worked inside me expertly, causing me to writhe against his hand and emit loud, deep moans. I held on still, not allowing myself to climax. I would *not* come this easily - he would *not* beat me. Not this strange Sith, not if I could help it.

"Let go, Crysta," he ordered roughly. "What are you afraid of? Do you think your boyfriend will think less of you if you fuck a Sith?" His fingers continued to work me, but I held on. His words would not get to me. "Don't forget the hundreds of women *he* fucks regularly, many of whom have had wonderful experiences with Sith as *well* as with the weak Jedi! I can show you passion like you've never known, if you'll only let me."

His rhythm picked up, and he pushed one more finger inside of me, stretching me to my limits and causing just a bit of pain as he stroked back and forth, in and out. He built up speed, but still I held on.

Sensing my continuing resolve, he spoke again. "Come for me, Crysta. Let your anger at being cast aside like yesterday's news seep out of you. Show me that you refuse to be the playtoy of that pathetic farmboy anymore. Take control - this is *your* life, so *live* it!"

His words were harsh, meant to evoke the deepest passions from me, and they were working. Suddenly, I felt his mind envelop mine. Just as that happened, his thumb rubbed my clitoris and I came, violently. Spasms rocked my body and I clenched his fingers inside of me as stars collided in my mind. I felt his powerful presence surrounding me as he absorbed the energy of my climax.

As my orgasm slowly ebbed, his fingers were replaced by his hot mouth. Kun hungrily lapped up my aromatic extract, stabbing his tongue deep into my depths. He probed deeper than Luke had ever managed to reach with his tongue, and with more force than Luke had ever used. His fervent suckling caused me to cry out as I came once again, barely recovered from the last one. My body shuddered repeatedly with the effects of the climax, and his tongue kept me soaring for what seemed like an eternity. All the power in the room seemed to coalesce inside of me, and he drank it all from me as voraciously as he was drinking the juices from my nether region.

Slowly, my senses began to return, but the Dark Lord was still suckling me dry. Suddenly, a familiar presence broke through the haze that used to be my thoughts.

//Crysta!//

"No!" I cried out. "Go away!"

He wasn't near enough to possibly hear me, but I didn't care. I didn't want to see him, or have anything to do with him right now. At any other time, that voice would have brought me ultimate comfort, security, and infinite happiness. Not now, however. Not after how he'd hurt me.

"Good..." Kun said, sliding up the bed against my body. "Block him from your mind. You have the power - use it."

I looked into those fathomless eyes and was drawn into him once more. There was something hypnotic about this man - my mind was screaming that I'd regret this in a little while, but my body didn't care. The Force spun around us like a twisting vortex of energy and light. It was unlike any aspect of the Force I'd ever felt before, and I knew it had something to do with the power of the beautiful man before me.

And once again, Exar Kun seized my lips in a bruising kiss. I think if he could have drawn the very life out of me, he would have. I fed off the energy in the room and returned the torturous assault on my lips. There was definitely something feral in our actions.

Suddenly there was a loud pounding on the door. 

"Crysta?? Crysta! I know you're in there! Can you open the door??" Luke's voice rang out from the other side, but this time I ignored him. I could tell he was worried - good. Let him worry. Let him rot in hell.

A chuckle rose from deep within Kun's chest, a signal that he approved of my train of thought. He rewarded me by roughly caressing my breast, tweaking the nipple until I gasped from the pain induced pleasure.

//Crysta??// Luke's worried voice invaded my mind again.

I ignored him and turned my attention back to the ravenous creature on top of me, drawing from him strength and wild abandon.

Suddenly, there was a loud crash as the door to the bedroom fell open and thudded against the floor. Kun was as startled as I was to see Luke standing in the doorway, lightsabre ignited, an expression of complete and utter shock etched on his handsome features as he took in the scene before him.

Kun was furious. I felt the anger surge through him, radiating through the room as he focused his intentions on our intruder. The power and rage emanating from him was contagious and I felt myself get swept up in it, my anger at Luke rising to the top until I felt I might explode.

"You, *Jedi*, have crossed the line," Kun growled as he leapt off the bed to confront Luke.

"Oh, really?" Luke responded, finally tearing his gaze away from me. "I'm not the one kidnapping and raping women!"

"You might as well have tried to rape her," the Sith lord told him, the anger clear in his voice. He unhooked his lightsabre from his belt and ignited it, standing at fighting stance with Luke. "With the pain you've caused her, I ought to kill you right here, right now. Or perhaps I should let Crysta have that pleasure?" He finished, swinging his gaze to me.

"Crysta?" Luke asked me, puzzled.

"Why don't you ask her if she wants to go with you, Jedi? I can guarantee you that she's not here against her will," Kun said, smugly. He was trying to get a rise out of Luke, and I had to admit I was hoping he'd actually get jealous of the Sith. It would serve him right.

"You seriously expect me to believe that my Crysta would willingly climb into your bed and let you... do whatever the hell it is you've done to her???" Luke demanded angrily.

"I'm not *your* Crysta anymore, Luke," I interrupted in a cold voice. "How can you expect me to still be yours when you're no longer *mine*??"

"What?" Luke asked, bewildered, his face a mirror image of what mine must have been just a short while ago. "What are you talking about, Crys? Of course I'm still yours!"

"Oh, really? Well, that's just great," I said. "I'm glad you decided to come back. Why don't you do me a favor - go wait in the lobby. If *your* Crysta should happen to come back, and if you're still out there, I'll be sure to send her out to you." Wow. My voice sounded harsh to my ears. I was *never* this hateful! But then, I couldn't remember the last time I'd been hurt this badly, either.

Luke just stared at me open-mouthed for a long time, processing the harsh words I'd just spoken. Slowly, he turned away from me to glare at Exar Kun, who still stood facing him. Kun had lowered his weapon slightly, obviously enjoying our exchange, and now he looked at Luke as if to say, "See? I told you so!"

"Get out, Jedi." Kun's voice left no room for argument. He *was* power itself, and he knew Luke was beaten. But whether or not *Luke* knew he was beaten was another story entirely.

Luke looked back at me once more, with the most devastated expression I'd ever seen, before slowly tearing his gaze away from my blatantly naked body. He turned towards the door, but half a heartbeat later, he whirled around and struck at Kun.

The light blue blade of Kun's sabre easily deflected the blow dealt by Luke's emerald green one, but Luke didn't let up. Again and again, the sabres clashed against one another, creating a terrifying battle of lights and sounds that tore through the small area of the room.

I could feel the anger flowing through both of them, and it fueled my own anger. How *dare* they fight over me? Kun would kill Luke if given the chance, I knew, and although I was mad at him, and he'd hurt me, I still loved him, and I did *not* want to see him die.

"NO!!! STOP IT!" I screamed at them, using the Force to pull all the excess energy still flowing through the room to force my words between the duelists. With a swiftness that shocked both men, each was flung backwards so that there was suddenly a distance of several meters between them.

Both men stopped their childish fight to stare at me. Kun was the first to recover from the shock of my intervention, and his lips slowly curled upwards into a grin.

"Isn't she delicious, Jedi?" Kun asked, licking his lips and turning to grin at Luke. "So much better my way than yours, don't you agree?"

*His* way? What the hell was *that* supposed to mean? And then it dawned on me. How could I have been so stupid??? All this power, this Sith, this energy... It was the Dark Side. All of it, and I was a fool!

In one swift movement, I curled my knees up to my chest and buried my head in my lap, resuming the position I'd taken on the stairs, and cried. Long, hard sobs rang out from my quivering body, as realization of what had just occurred set in. I'd let all my training go down the drain, and I'd let this *creature*... I shuddered violently as I remembered how he'd touched me, and where he'd touched me.

I felt a soft brushing of my senses in the Force, and something wrapped around me like a comforting blanket. I inhaled sharply, welcoming the gentle breeze of Light energy that enfolded me as I tried desperately to force the dark, powerful tendrils out of me.

//I'm sorry, Crys// Luke's voice whispered in my mind, and I realized that it was him, offering comfort to me, offering *love* to me, along our bond, which somehow seemed to suddenly be resurrected. But how...?

Everything that I was wanted nothing more than to grab onto that love and hang on for dear life, because Gods knew that I *needed* that right now, but how could I trust it? It had definitely not been there earlier - what guarantee did I have that it would be there 5 minutes from now?

I continued to cry as a new voice projected itself across the room.

"What the FUCK is going on in here?!?"

=========

Title: Back to Good, parts 1 & 2
Author: Per'agana

I returned Ash’s Charizard to him and was just getting back in the building when my
danger sense went crazy. Something was going on in the Sith wing, and it wasn’t
pleasant. I raced up the stairs and quickly realized that it was coming from Exar’s room.
Lightsabers clashing, then two hard *thuds*, then silence. I ran to the open doorway
and took in the sight of Exar and Luke Skywalker glaring at each other and Crysta
huddled on the bed, weeping.

I wasted no time in screaming out my confusion. "What the *fuck* is going on here?!?"

Exar glanced toward me, his surprise quickly turning into a smirk of triumph. Luke just
continued to glare at Kun, his hand tensing on the hilt of his lightsaber.

The Jedi’s move toward his weapon drew Kun's attention, and he dropped into a
fighting crouch.

They both completely ignored me, which was a little more than I could take. "Fuck.
HELLO! I believe I just asked a question here?" I yelled.

I pulled out my new pokeball and threw it between them. "Charizard,
go!"  The huge orange lizard clone responded readily to my orders, and formed
between the two combatants. Flames pooled in his mouth as he eagerly looked
between them, waiting for me to choose his target.

Both Kun and Luke jumped back, surprised and unsure about the new addition. I took
advantage of the momentary lapse of hostilities. "Now, could we try this again? What
the shit are you two *doing*?" 

I turned to Luke. "And are you the regular Luke or his new stunt double?"

Crysta suddenly looked up at us, her face streaked with tears. “Stunt double??" she
asked, her voice wavering.

She didn’t understand my allusion to the clone? I looked at her. "Yeah. You know,
Ziggy's *special* Luke?"

Crysta looked at us blankly. "Special Luke?" she said, repeating, and looked at Luke for
an explanation.

She doesn’t know? I glanced at Luke, exasperated by his silence. "What, you didn’t
TELL her?"

Crysta picked up on my words. "Tell me what?  Luke?"

Luke remained speechless, but a look of infinite regret passed over his face.

Regret or not, I was sick of him. "Oh, I don't believe this! Tell her, Mr. Jedi Stud.
Or I will." I said menacingly. I was still putting it together. If she didn’t know about the
clone, then why in the galaxy was she here? I reached out to her mind for the answer. I
knew her shields would be worthless when she was this upset. Her mind played back
the events with lightning speed and terrifying clarity. It was much worse than I had
thought.

I turned slowly toward Kun. “And what the fuck are *you* doing?" I asked, icicles
dripping from my voice.

Kun barely glanced at me. "It's none of your concern, apprentice. Leave us!"

How dare he, I thought. How dare he still think he can command me, that he can just
cast me off like some piece of used goods. “Oh the hell it isn't!” I yelled. “I thought I
knew what you were doing. I didn’t love it, but at least I understood it. But,
*this*? Damn you, you crossed the line."

Luke had watched the first part of our exchange, but now he made a tentative move
toward Crysta, probably to try and comfort her or something. Yeah, lots of luck,
farmboy. It would take more than some nice words tofix *this*.

Kun simply glared at me. "There is no 'line'. I am the Dark Lord of the Sith. I do as I
please."

“There is for me. I thought you understood that." There had always been a line, I had
just never sensed it so clearly before. I may be his manager, his apprentice, even his
lover, but in the end, he had no real respect for me. He had more regard for the feelings
of someone he could *trick* to the Dark Side than he did for me, who chose the
Darkness freely.

I barely heard Luke speaking to Crysta, softly calling out her name. I could feel his
emotions radiating into the Force almost as clearly as I could sense hers. He was trying
to reach out to her, unsure what had happened and why she was so angry and
confused. The fool, wasn’t it obvious?

Crysta, for her part, turned away. Turned toward the wall, where she didn’t need to face
either of them, didn’t need to be further disgraced by the touch of their eyes on her
naked body.

Her strength decided me. This wasn’t her fault. She was only the inadvertent catalyst of
something that was probably bound to happen anyway. I walked briskly into the middle
of the room and stood by Charizard. “Okay. Fuck this,” I announced. “I've had it with
*everything*. Let's make this simple."

Exar glared at me and I felt him begin to reach toward me in the Force. I gestured to
Charizard, who was still waiting with barely restrained zeal to attack. "Don't make me do
it, Exar. Because I will. You can count on it." 

I didn’t wait for his answer. I turned back to Luke and Crysta and started speaking
before Luke could throw some ridiculous excuse out for her to grab on to. "Ziggy
couldn't give up Luke. So her lovers decided to give her a present, with his help." I
gestured to Luke. "He agreed to it, he donated his DNA, and he clearly decided that you
didn’t need to know a thing about it."

Crysta stared wide-eyed at Luke.  "A *clone*??  Do you mean to tell me that there is a
CLONE of you running around???  Is *that* what I talked to upstairs????" Her disgust
was as palpable as her disbelief.

Luke suddenly understood. "Oh, Gods, Crys!  You talked to him? Oh, Gods, I am *so*
sorry!"

I just shook my head. “I thought she knew. I thought that’s why she was here,” I said
softly to everyone and no one.

Crysta raised luminous, tormented eyes to look at Luke and I. "No, I didn't KNOW!  If I'd
known that, I wouldn't be here!  I thought that was *you*!"  She spat, looking at Luke.
"Oh, Gods," she cried, burying her face in her hands.

She rocked back and forth for a moment, then looked back up at Luke. It was as if the
light had suddenly gone out of her eyes. “How dare you?  How *could* you?" she asked
in a low, deadly serious tone. Her expression conveyed a depth of hurt that I’d never
encountered before.

Despite everything she’d caused, I felt for her. She didn’t want this, any of it. I looked
right into her eyes. "Crysta, come with me," I said, my voice soft but commanding. I
glanced at Kun and Luke, my voice rising to my best version of malicious Sith. "And
if either goddamn one of you so much as *moves* I swear by the Dark Lords of Old that
I will have that lizard pick you up and hurl you so far into space that you’ll *never* come
back."

I turned on my heel, not even waiting for a response. I picked up Kun’s discarded cloak
and wrapped it around Crysta. I glanced back at Kun with a look that brooked no
interference. "She's borrowing this."

I led her out of the room and down the hall, my new Charizard following behind to guard
our exit. I paused at the stairwell to recall him to his ball, and then led Crysta down the
stairs and unlocked my room. I noticed R3 along the way and gave him a few pre-
emptive orders. "R3, I'm not here.” I said. “And neither is she. If anyone tries to force
the door open, use the anti-fire foam on them!"

I locked the door behind us and rummaged in my closet until I found some sweatpants
and a sweatshirt that I thought would fit her. I opened my little fridge and found a can of
Pepsi and handed to her. I figured I’d wait until she felt up to saying something. I wasn’t
about to push.

She stayed lost in her own thoughts for several moments, but finally looked up at me.
“Thanks, Liz." she said quietly.

I shrugged off her thanks and took out another can of Pepsi for myself. I glanced back
at her and waited. She stayed quiet a long time. Finally, I could stand it no longer. If she
talked, at least it would keep me from focusing on my own pain. I put the Pepsi down
and stared at Crysta, at this woman who had once been so much in charge of herself
and so full of opinions about the Sith. Now she seemed to be friendly to me, if only,
perhaps, out of need. "So, shall we declare a truce?" I asked with more edge than I’d
intended.

She glanced at me and nodded, and then pulled her knees up to her chest again, and
rocked on my bed. "Gods, I'm so confused!" she muttered, looking away from me.

I snorted. "Confused. *I'd* like to be confused right about now." I stared toward the shelf
where I kept the holocron. I wasn’t confused, not at all. Unfortunately, what had to
happen was all too clear to me.

Crysta followed my gaze, but thankfully didn't ask. She went back to muttering quietly. "I
can't *believe* I fell for that..."  She sighed. "I just can't..." she broke off, shaking her
head.

I nodded bitterly. "Tell me about it." I was becoming lost in my own world of hurt,
thinking of something *I* shouldn’t have fallen for. Exar Kun took me as apprentice to
serve his own ends. I let myself be deceived into thinking he gave a damn. Worse, I
conned myself into thinking that I *didn’t* care about him. Wrong on both counts. What
a mess. How could I have been so stupid!

I glanced over at Crysta. For some reason the sight of her huddled in misery on my bed
snapped me out of my own thoughts. Someone had to be pragmatic, for her sake.
"What are you going to do?" I queried.

She looked up at me finally. "I don't know... I can't believe I let him...  Gods, I am *not*
like that!  And he...” She shuddered at the memory.

Despite her obvious regret, the reminder stung. "Yes. I know *exactly* what Exar did
with you," I said coldly.

She didn’t appear to hear me, and just moaned as her thoughts moved from Exar’s
trickery to Luke’s betrayal. "And Luke...  a *clone*! He made a fucking CLONE!  For
*SELAH!*  Gods, I can't *tell* you how many times we discussed that-- and it was
always decided that it wouldn't help!  And then he goes and does it behind my back???"

I snorted again. *That* I could truly empathize with. "Who decided it wouldn't help?” I
asked her, my voice more cynical than I remembered it. “You or Luke? You know,
sometimes I think our opinion isn't worth a hill of shit to them. They just do whatever the
hell they want anyway."

She nodded. “And Obi and Qui were in on it," she said sullenly, shaking her head in
disbelief. “They *knew* that was a clone up there, and *they* didn't tell me!"

Yeah, I thought. She had good reason to be furious at them, too. Especially Qui-Gon.
He was certainly old enough to know better. "Why couldn't they all just tell Selah to just
get over it?” I snapped. “We don't always get what we want. Believe me, I know."

She sighed. “I don't know...  I'd love to know what happened to make them think that is
was all right now, though."  Her voice became increasingly hard, and she practically
spat out the last bit. Oh yes, I thought, Exar had certainly had plenty of material to work
with, considering this amount of barely restrained anger.

"Nothing happened,” I said sharply. “They just disregarded you. They're Jedi, after all.
They’re the mightly, all-powerful Force users. Isn't it supposed to just *be* all right if
*they* think it is?"

She breathed a heavy, angry sigh. "That's not *supposed* to be the way it works...  And
Luke's always so considerate, and thoughtful, and wonderful, and...,” she said sadly,
thoughfully. Her tone changed sharply when she spoke next, coming out angry and
bitter again. "And this is totally beneath him, and I can't believe he did this to me.
Ziggy, either."

I nodded furiously. "Ziggy. Yeah, tell me about it. I'm only her assistant manager. You'd
think it would occur to her to mention that she'd done this, that there could be problems.
But no, not a bloody word. I have to hear about it from Vader. You know, I'm so
incredibly tired of being an afterthought to everyone!"

My anger seemed to fuel hers. "Well at least you heard about it!  No one even bothered
to tell me!  Like I was *supposed* to know that the bastard I was talking to was a
*clone*!!!!!!!  Gods, he hurt me, and I didn't even realize that all it was was a stupid case
of mistaken identity!  Do you have any idea what it's  ike to suddenly feel as if
everything you've ever held dear to you is suddenly wrenched from your grip and you
have no idea how it happened???"

Oh, yeah. Boy, did I know. I woke up that morning thinking I was enfolded in the care
and power of two incredible Sith Lords. I still had Maul, I always would, but I knew then
that I didn’t have Kun. That I never had. I looked  ack at her, my eyes glistening with
unshed tears that I held back by sheer force of will. "Yes. I think I do."

Crysta was silent, then looked at me, the sudden realization evident in her expression.
“I'm sorry, Liz..." she said very softly, and I heard the mutual pain in her voice.

I didn’t want to be pitied. I jabbed fiercely at my eyes. "It's all right. It wasn't meant to be
this way. Sith aren’t supposed to care. I wasn't supposed to...” I broke off sharply.
“Never mind, it doesn't matter anymore."

"You love him, don’t you?" she said softly, trying not to pry.

Now *there* was a concept. I smiled a sad, faraway little smile. "Love. I don't know. I
know I love Maul. Exar? I just don’t know. He’s so beautiful and strong and proud, but
so incredibly *damaged*. I guess I never realized how much I cared...” I stopped, my
voice hardening in my throat. "But I won't accept what he's done with you. I can't. I push
and push and risk my life to prove myself to him, and yet he honors in you what he
punishes in me!"

She looked at me in confusion. "I don't know *what* he saw in me!  I'm just a pathetic
little lightsider, aren't I?  Gods, I feel so *used*, so violated...  What did he want with
me, Liz?"  She pleaded, trying to understand, trying to deal with it.

I gave a bitter half-laugh. The truth was the last thing she could never see. "Why, he
saw *him* in you, Crysta," I said softly. I wanted to detest her for it, for the very real
pleasuring he gave her because of it, but I couldn’t. I also couldn’t hate Exar for seeing
himself in her when he had never seen anything real in me. All I could do was
disappear and put a stop to the whole fucking thing.

Crysta shot me a horrified look. "What???”

"He was a Jedi, once,” I said softly, some of my sympathy for Exar creeping through the
hurt. “He doesn't talk about it, but I found a few things out on my own. His master
treated him poorly and abandoned him because he was interested in the Sith. Freedon
Nadd was the Sith that...initiated...him. I don't know what happened, but I have the
strong impression it wasn't pleasant. He thinks you've been manipulated and discarded
by Luke, the same way he was by his master. He wants to lift you up, fight for you,
make you powerful. Like him."

She raised her eyebrows. "Really?  Woah..."

“If it’s any comfort,” I said bitterly, "I don't think he expected to identify with you."

"He just wanted to turn me?"

"Yes. He just wanted to turn you. He seems to give more credence to being seduced by
the Dark Side than to choosing it freely." I spat out the last part, my rage overcoming
the hurt. I gave him everything, and it was never enough. She willingly gave him
nothing, and yet it had meant more than all my energy, my work, my... I stopped the
train of thought before “love” could even gain a foothold in my mind.

"Gods, do I feel used.  Used, and violated.” She shuddered again. “I wish I could just
scrub myself of this whole thing, but it's not going to work, is it?"

"Maybe. You can use my shower, if you'd like."

She smiled sullenly. "Thanks, Liz.  I think I will, but it still won't erase the memory of
what happened...  Of what he did to me, of what I did, of what happened today..."

I just nodded. I understood why she wanted, why she *needed* to erase what
happened with Kun from her mind. I was just stuck on the irony of it– for her, this was a
tragedy that her conscience might take months if not years to process. I, on the other
hand, would have killed for the chance to have Exar react to me that way. To inspire
such *personal* rage. To have him want to empower me and fight for me the way he
had for Crysta.

"So, what are we going to do?  About the *men*?” she asked, breaking into my
thoughts. “I think we're both ready to kill Kun, and probably both ready to kill Luke, too."

Kill him? I just wanted to vanish. "I don't know. I wish Maul were here. And yes, I am
furious at both of them."

"Maul?  What would he do?"

I smiled. Gods, I missed him. His sanity, his perspective. He would never have let this
overwrought drama go this far–even though, perhaps, it
needed to. "Make sense of everything. He's good at that," I said.

Crysta smiled back. "Luke's really good for that, too."  She shook her head. “But I just
don't know what to think about this clone thing...  I guess I should just forgive and
forget, but I can't forget the pain I felt...  and what their stupidity and selfishness caused
to happen..."  She paused, thinking. "Although allowing my anger and hatred to surface
was my fault...  but I did have a *little* help with that, too..."

I couldn’t help grinning. "Well, a little. But even the Dark Lord of the Sith can't build on
something that isn't already there. Besides, you had good reason to be mad!"

"Yes, you're right, but I *never* get mad.  I don't lose my temper, and I *don't* let
strange men lure me into their beds just for the hell of it!"  She let out a long breath
between her teeth. "Yes, I have every right to be mad. But I know better than to lose
control like that.  It had to be the Dark energy that Kun had - he must have shared it
with me, taking advantage of my emotions at such a vulnerable time." 

She paused, but continued quickly, as if she realized who she was talking to.  "But I
guess with your training, you don't see anything wrong with me getting mad and losing
control, but for *me*, it's just wrong.  I'm just not like that."  She paused thoughtfully
again. "Although the one thing I noticed was that though Kun was angry, and he fed off
of *my* anger, he never seemed to lose control. In fact, he was *always* in control.  Of
me, of his emotions, of the Force."

I smiled, agreeing silently with her. "He's had a *lot* of practice." I paused and thought
for a moment, remembering what it was like for me to begin working with the Dark Side.
"It's like that at first. Feeling like you're losing control. Then it's just a part of you. It's
like...well, like fire. The Dark Side is like a bonfire at first, but then it quiets down,
becomes part of you. It flares when you need it to. Mine flares a bit too often, but hey, I
like to think that anger is your own self-esteem trying to tell you something."

She smiled ruefully. "You know, Yoda would have a fit if he knew we were discussing
this."  Her eyes danced with amusement, a welcome sight after the hell of this day.

I smirked at her, grateful for the humor. "Yeah, well, I'd just remind Yoda what he
looked like trying to do the Macarena! And it was *not* a pretty sight!"

Crysta laughed out loud.  "And those boxers!  Oy!!" 

"You know, that's a good metaphor, now that I think about it. Yoda's a Jedi Master. He
should know better than to get drunk in front of his padawan, his friends, and most of
all, his enemies. If a Jedi Master of that experience can have a slip like that, I don't think
you should beat yourself up too much for yours."

I paused, thinking about how lucky she’d actually been, about the gift that she had been
given that she could never really understand. "Besides, even though I'm hurt and angry at him right now, I still have to admit that Exar Kun is incredible in bed!" And I would miss him, I thought. Oh, how I would miss him.

She blanched at the memory. "Yeah, I'll give you that last one..."  She paused, and
looked at me carefully. "You know, we may come from two separate ends of the
spectrum, but I really like you.  I know I *shouldn't*, but I am *not* some "brainwashed
Jedi drone".  You have real character, Liz, and I really appreciate your bailing me out
today.  Thank you."

I smiled somewhat nervously. I had never taken compliments especially well. "You're
welcome. And my shower awaits. Don't wait too long, or Nadd will use up all the hot
water." I added that last trying to restore the humor, the fleeting but welcome lightness
I’d felt a few moments ago.

Crysta smiled gratefully, and said "Thanks, Liz" over her shoulder as she headed to the
bathroom.

===================

Title: Back to Good, part 3
Author: Crysta Novelli

Once in the shower, I found that the hot water did wonders for my soul. I reached out to the Force and drew the fresh, clean energy of the water around me, coaxing it through every pore and flushing the anger and hurt from my system as much as I could. It wasn't a thorough cleansing of my soul, but at least with Kun's scent off of me, I could breath a little easier. I still had no idea what I'd say to Luke the next time I saw him... Or how I could ever look at Kun without anger again.

Liz's words ran amok through my head, making a dizzying rhythm. She loved Kun and he'd hurt her by being with me as much as he and Luke had hurt me. I don't think anyone had *intentionally* hurt anyone, and I doubted that Kun would ever realize just how much damage he had done. Or if he'd even care if he *did* realize it. 

Luke regretted what he'd done. I saw it in his eyes and felt it in his mind back in that awful place I'd just been. But no matter how much he regretted it, he couldn't take it back, as much as I wish he could. He'd hurt me, and I only hoped that I'd be able to forgive him in time. And that I'd be able to forgive myself for being so weak and vulnerable to temptation. I knew that no matter what, though, I did *not* want lose him. Luke was the best thing that had *ever* happened to me, and I loved him with all my heart. The Force was strong with both of us - it had brought us together, and that had to be worth *something*!

As I calmed down further, and climbed out of the shower, I became aware of the turmoil surrounding Liz in the outer room. I wrapped the towel around me and walked softly out to the main bedchambers so as not to interrupt her thoughts. She'd turned the radio on, probably to try and calm her strained nerves.

To my surprise, Liz was angrily shoving clothing into a large duffel bag on the bed. There was also a set of clothing laid out beside it that looked pretty close to my size.

"Liz?" I spoke softly, and she turned around to look at me. I could see the faint trace of tears in her eyes, but I didn't say anything else.

"So, want to come with me while I see if Mary and Gill next door have any room at the inn?" Her tone was light, and belied the hurt she was projecting through the Force. Her shields were strong, but so were the emotions afflicting her. "Might as well celebrate my last night here, after all."

"What? Liz, you can't be serious. You can't quit..." I said in a kind, caring tone of voice. If she quit, then that would mean that Kun had won. And I really didn't think she *wanted* to quit. "Besides, you're the only one that can keep the Sith in line..." I added. I wasn't sure if that was the right think to say or not, but it was the truth. And for good measure, I added, "And don't forget - you have that new Pokemon...". I smiled softly at her, offering her my support.

"I doubt Charizard will be enough," she replied. "And right now, only Exar can decide whether I stay or go. Whether I get the respect I deserve or not."

I nodded, understanding. That was both of our problems - our men had had a serious judgment lapse and had forgotten that a strong relationship *must* have respect. Cloning himself for Ziggy was *not* respectful to me, and Kun had obviously majorly screwed up as well.

It was then that I noticed the song playing in the background. 

"Everyone here is wondering what it's like to be 
with somebody else
And everyone here's to blame and everyone here
is caught up in the pleasure of the pain
Well everyone here hides shades of shame
but looking inside we're the same, we're the same
we're all grown now, but we don't know how
to get it back to good"

I sighed softly as the power of those words sunk in. How true they were, how true indeed. We needed to figure out how to get it "back to good." But how?

"Then maybe we need to talk to our men?" I suggested, not really sure of what to say. "Gods know Luke owes me an explanation... I may not want to hear it, but I have to. I can't just never speak to him again... I still love him, Liz. With all my heart." I wasn't sure what she intended on doing with her relationship with Kun, but for now it appeared she was going to bail.

Liz finished shoving her possessions into her bag, zipped it closed, and shouldered it. "Later. Right now, I think we could actually use some time for ourselves. Are you coming?"

I shrugged, not sure where it was she was going, but I figured she could use some company. And not that I couldn't use some too...

"Sure, why not? Just let me get dressed..."

=============

Title: Back to Good, part 4
Author: Gillian Taylor


"You lying sack of worm-ridden filth.  You can't have
Sabacc!" I said in shock. 

"Read the cards and weep, Amidala," Han responded with
a lop-sided grin, turning his cards face-up.

I had to read the cards again to be certain.  Damn.
Pure Sabacc. "You cheat."

"I do not."

"You cheat, Solo."

"Oh *I* cheat?  Then what's that card you have in your
sleeve?"  he asked pointedly, gesturing towards my
right sleeve.

"*That* my dear bantha, is my new business card," I
said proudly, showing him the card quickly before
putting it away again.

"Hey!  I didn't get a good look at it!" he protested.

"I don't show my business cards to cheaters.  That's
why I've never shown it to Lando!"

"Ha. Ha," Han said dryly, "Now c'mon.  Let me see it!"

"No!"

"C'mon, Gill," he said again, only this time he
decided to emphasize his words by reaching over the
table.

I moved back before he could grab my hand, "Don't you
dare you spotted tauntaun!"

"Dare what?" he asked innocently, his hands now back
where they belonged.

"Why I aughta..." I threatened, but movement from the
corner of my eye silenced the rest of my retort.  I
turned towards the door and half-smiled a welcome to
the newcomers. 

My eyes were drawn to my friend's face, something was
different about her.  It was almost as if there was a
deep hurt lying just behind her eyes. "Crys?  Are you
alright?"  I asked gently.

Crysta didn't respond, choosing instead to meet my
eyes.  She held them for a moment before slowly
shaking her head.

I glanced at Han once before leaving the table to go
to her side.  My inner alarms began to ring as I drew
closer to her, my gaze taking in her almost haggard
appearance.  I pulled her into a hug, "Crys, what's
wrong?  What happened?"

Tears started to slide down her cheeks, as the hurt
returned to the surface.  Her grip on me strengthened,
but she didn't speak immediately.

Worry pierced my heart, and I turned towards Liz, a
question in my gaze.  When I looked at the other
woman, I noticed that Crys wasn't the only one that
was upset, 'What the hell is going on?'

Liz tossed her bag on the sofa, and tossed herself
down after it. "It's a *long* story!"

"We've got all the time in the world, kid," Han
responded, earning himself a glare from Liz.  Seeing
as how she was a couple of years older than him, she
didn't appreciate getting called 'kid'.

Crys took a deep breath and released me, stepping
back.  The tears had slowed to a stop, and she rubbed
her eyes slowly.

I gently guided Crysta to the couch, letting her sit
down.  "Now, what's going on?"

Crys sat and pulled her knees to her chest and hugged
them, "It started with Ziggy..."

"And..." I prompted.

"And that damn clone cabinet." Crysta spat.

Dread pooled in my stomach, "Who was cloned?" I asked,
though I thought that I knew the answer.

Liz nodded, "Who else? It's not like she could just
let it go!"

"Let what exactly go?" Han asked, confused.

"Luke," Crysta spat again.

Liz rolled her eyes. "And what's worse, Qui and Obi
encouraged it. Hell, they *planned* it! You'd think
they'd know better!"

Han and I said in unison, "You've got to be kidding,
right?"

Liz and Crys glowered at us.

"Gill...  do we *look* like we're laughing?" Crysta
asked, her tone deadly serious.

'Bad choice of words there, Gill,'  I thought. "No...
no you don't.  But that's obviously not ALL that
happened."

"Oh, no," Crysta said, dry humor in her voice, though
she was obviously NOT amused.  "That's *definitely*
not ALL that happened!"

Liz continued in an almost-whisper, "My master decided
to... look in on Crysta."

"'Look in?'" I repeated dumbly while my heart began to
thud dully in my chest.

Liz just looked away, uncomfortable.

Crysta continued, "But not before I had a VERY nice
discussion with said clone..." she said in a VERY
pissed off tone, "One that I didn't *know* was a
fucking CLONE!"

My eyebrow arched at her language.  That was NOT a
word I'd *ever* heard her use before. 

"What did he say?" Han asked gently.

"Oh, only that he wasn't MY Luke, but that he was
SELAH'S Luke...  but the *best* part was the fact that
he'd just finished doing the horizontal tango with
Selah and was *grinning* about it!" she spat
disgustedly.

'I'll kill him.  I'll FUCKING KILL him.' I thought
angrily, though at that point I wasn't sure if I was
talking about the real Luke or the clone.  "Gods...
Crys..."

Han's face reflected his confusion, but he remained
silent, while Liz nodded.  "I'm with you on that one!"
she said.

I didn't know what Liz was replying to: my thoughts or
my words.  I wasn't Force sensitive, but Crys had been
able to pick up on my strong thoughts before, so it
could have been either one.

Crysta sighed deeply.  "Yeah.  So needless to say, I
was a little upset, extremely confused, and *very*
hurt.  Unfortunately, Liz's *Master,*" she emphasized
the word with disgust, "decided he wanted to help me
*deal* with my anger...."

"Deal?"  I asked.  It seemed like all of my responses
were confined to single words.

"Yeah," Crysta repeated, and shuddered, lowering her
eyes.

"He thought he could turn her to the Dark Side," Liz
said quietly.

My mouth was open, as was Han's.  "Oh my Gods...  and
what happened?"

Crysta buried her face in her knees and shook her
head.

I looked at Liz askance, resting my hand comfortingly
on Crys' shoulder, 'What the HELL is going on here?' I
thought again.

"He was ...*comforting*... to her."  Liz spat out the
comforting part. "In a Sith way."

Han just looked at Liz.  "In a *Sith* way?" he asked,
confused.

Liz glared at him defiantly. "Yes. You have something
to say about that, smuggler?"

Han almost visibly backed away from Liz, but replied,
"I just want to know what that means."

Liz sighed irritably. "What he probably *meant* was to
allow Crysta the room to explore her anger. To draw
power from it, and from the passion that it arouses."

My heart was hammering in my ears, I knew what I
THOUGHT it meant, I just didn't want to KNOW that I
was right.  "What did he do to her?"

"What did he *do* to her?"  she snorted. "More like,
what did she do *with* him?"

Crytsa pulled her knees in *tighter*, as if she hoped
the couch would swallow her alive.

I was floored.  "What?!?" was the only word that I was
able to mutter at that point.  I turned towards Crys,
dropping my voice to a near whisper, "Crys, what did
happen between you and Kun?"

Crysta shook her head, still in her knees, and sighed
deeply, paused, then slowly raised her head.  Her eyes
glistened with tears when she turned to look at me.
Crysta then turned to look at Han, making the point
that she was not comfortable talking about something
so personal with him there.

Han swallowed for a moment, and nodded slightly,
"Um...  I'll get everyone something to drink.  What
would you like?  We're well stocked...  if you want
something alcoholic...  or a soda..."

"I'd like some tea," Crysta said softly.  I echoed her
request while Liz asked for white wine.

"Coming right up," Han responded, leaving the room.

I turned to my friend, "He's gone, Crys...  Please,
tell me, what happened?"

"Well....." she started slowly, reluctantly, "let's
just say that he appealed to my anger and confusion
and managed to fuel the fire within me, leading me to
feel things I never in a million years would have
dreamed I was capable of...."

My eyebrow arched, "He...  you...  um...  had
'relations' with him?"  I was ready to scream out 'NO!
THIS IS NOT HAPPENING!  CRYSTA DIDN'T DO THAT WITH
KUN!  NO!'  but I didn't.

"No, it didn't go quite *that* far, but it went far
enough," Crysta said sadly.

Liz nodded bitterly. "Yes. Quite far enough!"

I swallowed, and I wasn't able to find my voice for a
moment, "What happened then?"

"Well....  Kun tapped into the anger and hurt inside
of me, apparently *identifying* with me, according to
Liz, and my screwed up head somehow found it
*thrilling*..." she said, clearly disgusted, with
herself, or Kun, or both.  "Let's just say that before
I knew it, I was stripped nude and he was...
*pleasuring* me."  She paused again, shuddering at the
memory.  "Luke, the *real* Luke, managed to find us,
though, and broke the door down before Kun's clothes
came off...  thankfully interrupting us before
something happened that I might *never* have been able
to get over..."  She shuddered again at the thought of
what might have happened.  She stopped there,
uncertain of what else to tell me.

I drew in a shaky breath.  This was almost worse than
what I had originally thought.  I was almost overcome
with rage at the thought of any of this happening to
her.  It was too much for anyone to bare.  I just knew
that the moment that I saw EITHER of them I was going
to strangle them.  I drew Crys into another hug, "I
won't say that its going to be okay, Crys...  I won't
lie to you, but it will get easier.  And I will beat
the crap out of Luke and Kun when I see them.  No
one...NO ONE should have to go through what happened
to you...and I'm going to strangle Ziggy."

Liz was silent, her face reflecting her anger and her
unsettlement.

"Thanks, Gill," Crys said softly, her voice muffled in
my shoulder.   She drew in a deep breath, before
straightening and attempting to compose herself.  She
leaned back on the couch, and spoke, "No, it's not
going to be easy, but I'll live, and I'll be fine.
*We'll* be find," she corrected herself,  "Liz and I
have talked through it, and neither one of us is sure
what we're going to do, but we'll work through this."

Liz looked at Crysta, "Yes, Crysta, you *will* be
okay. Luke will make this up to you."

"Thanks, Liz," Crysta responded, smiling softly.  "I
know he will.  And I hope that Kun sees that *he*
screwed up too, and makes it up to you. But that
*still* won't make it *right*..."

Liz tried to smile.  "Maybe. I don't hold out much
hope, though.  It's funny how perspective shades
things...  what Crysta found so awful is something
I've been wishing for and hoping for...."

Crysta just nodded sadly at Liz's comment.

Han returned then, entering the room slowly, balancing
four drinks on a tray.  He doled out the drinks,
however, before he could take a seat, he tripped on a
bag that he could have sworn hadn't been there before.
His drink ended up splattering on the floor.  "Um..."
he said in the relative silence, "Why is there a bag
here?"

Liz looked at Han. "It's mine.  Well...  I was hoping
Gill and Mary could put me up for a few nights."

"Stay here?  Why not back in your room?" I asked
gently, not understanding why she would want to stay
at NFR.

Liz looked at me, speaking evenly, "I quit."

"You quit?" I asked, surprised, "Why?!"

Liz remained silent for a while before speaking
softly.  "Because... because Ziggy isn't thinking
about the good of the company anymore, and because I
can't bear to face Exar Kun. Not after everything
that's happened."

"Are you sure that you want to do this, Liz?"  I
asked.

She considered it, then nodded.  "Yes, right now I
don't see any other way."

A single sigh was my response as I considered it.
"Then of course you can stay, Liz.  We've got an extra
guest room open.  But please...  reconsider your
decision."

"Thanks, Gill. I'll think about it.  Really, I will,
but I doubt I'll change my mind."

"It's not a problem," I began, and Han cut in with a
sly grin - "Besides, you can always sample some of the
'merchandise'..."

Liz glared at him, but didn't say anything.  Instead,
she turned back to me.  "I'll go find that room,
then."

I nodded, "Go on, Liz.  Chewie can show you where it
is, and if you need anything..."

She half-smiled at me, then turned and left the room,
taking her bag with her.

I rubbed my eyes and turned back to Han and Crysta.
This was quickly becoming 'one of *those* days.'  Han
looked at me, silently asking me if Crysta was all
right and what we were going to do next.  Crysta
sipped her tea and avoided eye contact with both of
us, seemingly lost in her own little world.  I wasn't
sure what to say to her, but I guess I debated it too
long because she spoke first.

"I just don't know what to do, Gill..." she said
softly.  "I still love Luke with all my heart, which
is *why* I was so upset by the clone, but now that I
know it was a clone, *that* hurt has melted away, but
it's been replaced by the shock and anger that they
would do this!  I mean...  They cloned Luke for
*Selah*!"  Her face displayed the ultimate anguish,
and it broke my heart to see her like this.  If I ever
got my hands on them....... I'd flay them both.

I grabbed her hand, gripping it tightly, "Crys, listen
to me...Luke made a mistake, and so did Selah.  I know
how you're feeling right now... and believe me, if I
see either of them in the next couple of minutes, I
will be wiping the floor with them both," I paused as
Han nodded his agreement with my words, "And though it
doesn't excuse either of them from doing this to you,
I can understand WHY she did it. Crys, Luke is a great
guy, and you're very lucky to have him.  THAT hasn't
changed.  But he is also human, and can make mistakes.
It would be my guess that Selah saw how he treats you
and got jealous.  She wanted some of Luke for herself,
a Luke that would treat HER as your Luke treats YOU.
It doesn't make it right, but it does make it appear
all the more...human."  'However, Selah's still going
to be strung up by her toes the next time that I see
her!'

Han turned towards Crysta, his eyes compassionate,
"She's right, Crysta.  Luke is as human as you or I,
and he does make mistakes.  EVERYONE does.  But you
know him better than either of us do...  what does
your heart tell you to do?" he asked softly.

Crysta looked at him, thinking the question over.  She
leaned back into the cushions and took a slow sip of
her tea, lowering her eyes.  She was silent for a
moment, pondering, then looked up with her answer.

"I *know* that I'll be able to forgive him," she said
slowly.  "While this hurts, it's not something that
I'll allow to come between us.  Our relationship is
too strong for that to happen."  Her voice was growing
stronger, and more self-assured.  "The part that hurt
me the most was when I reached for him along our bond
and felt *nothing* - it was as if everything I'd ever
known, everything I'd ever held dear to me had
suddenly been wrenched from my grasp and I had no idea
how it had happened.  *That* is why Kun had so much of
an effect on me..." she trailed off and sighed softly.
"I was just afraid I'd lost him, Gill," she finished
sadly.

"You haven't lost me, Crysta," a very familiar
masculine voice responded from the doorway off to the
side. 

'Dum-da-dum, and the star of this story decides to
make his appearance,' I thought as Han and Crysta
turned as one to regard the newcomers.  'Quick!  Hold
me back!' I thought, Timone-esque.  I looked over at
Han's narrowed gaze and changed my original thought,
'Maybe somebody better hold HIM back...'

=================

Title: Back to Good, part 5
Author: Per'agana

Prince Xizor fixed himself a drink and leaned back
against the wall, scanning the lobby
once again. This was his second day at No Force
Rentals, and the underlord of Black
Sun was bored. Horribly, unaccountably, endlessly
bored. His long talons picked a
piece of imaginary lint off his rich, immaculately cut
aubergine silk tunic. He tried not to
appear too interested in his fellow employees, though
in fact, Xizor did appreciate
knowing as much as he could about his enemies and
competitors. In knowledge lay
power, after all. But this was really a bit much.

Actually, he reflected, the whole thing was more than
a bit much. He, Xizor, Prince of
the Falleen, *prostituting* himself for women he could
neither choose nor dismiss when
he grew tired of them. He was completely at the beck
and call of their whims and their
seemingly endless credit card accounts, a situation he
knew he would soon find quite
untenable. At least, he would find it untenable were
it not for the remarkable advantage
it provided. No Force Rentals happened to be located
next to the building that housed
Rent-a-Jedi and Rent-a-Sith. The building that,
therefore, housed his sworn enemy,
Darth Vader. While Xizor's features remained outwardly
impassive, inwardly he enjoyed
a moment of delicious anticipation. He would,
obviously, have to find some way to
acquire Rent-a-Jedi, Rent-a-Sith, and No Force Rentals
from their respective owners.
Not only would the organization turn an immense
profit, he would also be, in a sense,
the owner of Darth Vader--a concept he found extremely
delectable and potentially
worth every minute of this degradation.

He paused in his musings, his attention attracted by a
woman he had been watching
earlier–the one that had been sitting with one of the
owners and with that unkempt,
penny-ante smuggler that drew so much unwarranted
attention. The woman was tall,
with a lush, voluptuous figure that was quite a bit
more voluminous than he usually
liked. She was also clearly upset, a condition he
usually avoided in females of any
species. However, he still found himself curious about
her. Her eyes spat fury and
defiance, and there was a statement of power about her
that he was unable to
completely quantify. Which, in these bleak
surroundings, counted as worthy of his
interest.

He watched as she picked up a large duffel bag and
headed out of the lounge, her drink
(her third, by his count) in hand. She had barely
reached the door when she was
intercepted by a tall man with an insolent air and a
vaguely military bearing. He thought
for a moment before being able to place him as Corran
Horn, the ex-CorSec Jedi. They
exchanged words--his sly and meant to provoke, hers
the furious replies. He said
something else, and she lifted a hand. He suddenly
staggered backward into the wall.
So, Xizor thought with sudden interest, she has the
Force! That would explain the odd
sense of power he'd felt from her. She looked at her
hand, either surprised that she'd
affected Horn, or surprised that she hadn't affected
him as much as she'd hoped. Given
the look of rage on her face, he assumed the latter.

Xizor looked around the room and noticed that the
blue-skinned Imperial admiral was
also tracking her. He sidled up to Thrawn and queried
him about her in a way that
seemed offhand, that did not display his interest. The
Admiral's reply was fascinating
indeed. Not only was this woman apparently the manager
of Rent-a-Sith, but she was
reputed to be a Sith apprentice herself.  A few more
discreet inquiries revealed that she
was said to be close with Darth Maul and with the
resurrected Dark Lord, Exar Kun.
More interestingly, she was also said to have a
running feud with Darth Vader. All of
which made her extremely useful to him. Judging from
her current emotional state, the
rate at which she was consuming that Glaxinian wine,
and the performance with Corran
Horn, he suspected that her Force skills weren't at
their normal intensity. That she
would be vulnerable to him, unable to resist his
powerful hormonal assault.

He acted decisively, determined not to waste such a
valuable advantage. He went up to
the bar and bought a bottle of their best, winding
through the narrow hallways until he
found the guest room that NFR's owners had assigned
his target.
*********************

I unlocked the door to the small guest room and looked
around at my new, temporary
lodgings. The No Force Rentals building was similar to
the R-a-J/R-a-S building, which
made sense, considering that both once belonged to the
same defunct university. I
locked the door behind me and breathed a quick sigh of
relief. It was nice to be away
from everyone for a moment. A few more minutes of
*that*, I thought, and I would
surely have to kill someone. *My* hurt they glossed
over completely. Crysta’s? Well,
you’d think the whole damn galaxy had just come to a
huge screeching-ass halt. “What
did that horrible nasty monster do to you?” Oh, give
me a fucking break!

I took a long sip at my wine, finding that it suddenly
tasted unaccountably bitter. I felt
torn. Angry, hurt, and torn. Part of me still wanted
to like everyone, to get along with
everyone. The part of me that had been shaped, molded,
and trained in the Sith Way
was at war with the older, more pliable me. The Sith
part wanted me to, at the very
least, tell all these people to go fuck themselves. A
third part just wanted oblivion. I was
strongly considering letting that part win. I drank
more of the wine. If you ignored it, the
bitterness went away. Too bad that wouldn’t work for
Exar. “Monster”, I thought again,
shaking my head. I would have *killed* for that kind
of attention from him. Here he goes
and gives it to Crysta, and all her friends act like
she’s been *raped* or something. I
don’t know what hurt the most– knowing how his actions
truly reflected on me, or
knowing how people *thought* they did, that I was the
apprentice of a Monster. They
had no idea.

I felt for Crysta, though. It angered me to no end
that she thought what she did about
Exar, but... A sudden bolt of rationality briefly
penetrated the grape-fogged haze. She
was *not* in love with him. She reacted as she did
less because Kun was Sith than
because Kun *wasn’t* Luke. Moreover, I really had to
question Kun’s true feelings for
Crysta. Yes, he had identified with her, but did that
have to translate into true regard?
Despite the hurt, I had to admit that it didn’t. There
was only the lack of respect that Kun
showed *me*. I took another hard pull on the wine,
realizing that no amount of
rationality would erase that truth.

A knock at the door intruded into my brooding.
“Whatever it is, I’m not interested,” I
yelled.

I watched in fascination as the doorknob turned. Could
it be Kun? After all, Ziggy had
quit and run away from Rent-a-Jedi a few times and her
true loves always found her.
Would Exar find me? Would I even *want* him to?

The figure that entered put my suspicions to rest. No,
not Exar. I exhaled, a sigh that
was one part disappointment and probably two parts
relief. Instead, I was treated to the
sight of a most unusual alien. He was tall, slender,
beautifully dressed, and, well, green.
His skin was a dusky, mottled green, and his head was
bald, with only a long, slim black
ponytail to relieve the smoothness. His eyes caught
and held mine, and I was
entranced. He was alien, but he was stunning.

He held up a bottle of excellent wine and two crystal
glasses. “I thought you might wish
some company,” he said in a voice that was as smooth
as silk and just as enticing.

I was interested, but cautious. “Who are you?”

“Ah. Forgive me.” He bowed in courtly fashion. “I am
Prince Xizor of Black Sun.”

Oh! *Now* I remembered him! I’d heard rumors about
this one, the lord of a mega-
powerful crime syndicate. What the hell he was doing
being rented was beyond my
comprehension. What he wanted with *me* was equally
unclear.

He took my lack of response as an invitation to perch
next to me on the bed. He took
my glass from my hand and deftly opened the bottle
he’d brought, pouring some into
the two crystal glasses. He handed one to me. “You
don’t need to be drinking that swill,”
he opined, waving at my other glass.

I took a sip of the wine he brought and my eyes opened
wide in surprise and
satisfaction. Nothing bitter tasting about it. I
looked over as the Dark Prince’s slender
hand and long talons were winding their way up my arm.
His skin had changed color to
a deepening crimson. Fascinating! His eyes caught mine
again, and seemed to weave
a spell over me. I felt the tension flow out of me, my
focus narrowing to the point of his
touch. He lifted my face toward him, and brushed my
lips lightly with his. Mmmm, I
thought. Nothing bitter tasting about him, either.

I yielded to his touch and let him fold me into his
arms. His lips touched mine again,
less gently this time. I returned his passion, my
tongue darting out to explore him. His
tongue met mine, and the surprise of it raced through
my body like stray electricity. Not
a typical human tongue at all, but a longer, more
reptilian variety. The feelings it evoked
as he began to explore my mouth, and then my neck,
were absolutely indescribable.

My hands strayed down the length of his hard, taut,
perfect body. I felt a sharp, bony
ridge along his chest, and I desperately wanted to
press myself against it, to feel the
pain and pleasure of it merge.

“In time, my little Sith,” he said softly,
anticipating me. His hands began to undo the
buttons of my shirt, sweeping the fabric aside.

I continued my survey, letting my hand creep downward
and travel along the impressive
swell of fabric between his legs. Judging from the
feel through the layers of silk, he was
built like a human in that regard. I ran my hand along
the length, feeling it pulse in
welcome beneath my fingertips.

He smiled a me, a cruel, tiny little smile– though
somehow an infinitely erotic one as
well. His slender fingers removed my bra, and I at
last felt his touch upon my bare skin.
I shivered from the raw sensation as his fingers
massaged my nipples, his talons
flicking against them in a way that was harsh, but not
at all unpleasant. Gods, this man
was talented!

He gave me no time to acclimate to his touch before
setting his mouth upon my breast.
I breathed in sharply as his lips closed on my skin,
the very tip of his prehensile tongue
flicking hard against the nipple. I moaned softly,
willing him to continue, to work his way
lower. His hands grasped the waist of my pants and
pulled them down, his head
lowering in perfect accordance with my desire. I
wanted to feel the full length of that
tongue snaking deep inside me. He looked up at me and
smiled again, this one saying
“I own you now.” I wasn’t about to disagree. He half
nodded, and parted the labia with
his fingertips, running a single talon along my clit.
I gasped, and twisted in his grasp,
wishing he would enter me. He just smiled and lowered
his head. I arched back, waiting
for the perfect oblivion of his tongue’s caress.

“What the *hell* are you doing?!?” a very unwelcome
voice snarled from the doorway.

GodsDAMNit, I thought! Now was *not* the time I wanted
to see Exar! “Go away,” I said
as forcefully as I could, my voice muddied by the wine
and by desire.

He didn’t even bother to answer. He just strode up to
the bed like he owned it. Xizor
stood aside and glowered at him. He was clearly
unwilling to challenge the Dark Lord of
the Sith.

I sat up, pulled up my pants, and began fiercely
buttoning my shirt. “What the hell do
you want, Exar?”

He snarled, his face contorted in a rage I’d never
seen before. He reached down and
locked his hand around my wrist in a vise-grip and
roughly jerked me to my feet. “We’re
leaving,” he said succinctly, marching me out the
door.     

=================

Title: Back to Good, part6
Author: Per'agana

WARNING: major, major angst alert. As usual with the Liz fics, I let this part mostly write itself, with a few ideas of what I wanted to do. Well, this got much uglier than I'd intended. This was, in a nutshell, the hardest damn piece of fic I ever wrote--I'm not even sure this puppy is staying on my  laptop very long. Anyway, I guess it was necessary to get to the next stage in Liz's relationship with Exar Kun-- although it does become increasingly hard to write a story that's both humor in parts and something this serious, but...anyway, here it is.      ~Per'a

******************************************

“We’re leaving,” he said, and marched me to the door.
His grip on my wrist was so tight
it nearly turned my skin numb. One look at his furious
face and I knew not to protest. Not here,
not in front of Xizor.

He pulled me to the back door, then threw me outside.
I fell hard into a clump of bushes
near the door. I tried to stand up, but my drunkenness
was getting the better of me. He
strode out after me, walked up to the bush, and
roughly yanked me to my feet. He
pointed at the back door of Rent-a-Sith and snarled at
me. “Inside, NOW!”

I stumbled toward the door, my fear of further
provoking him only serving to make me
even more clumsy. He reached the door before me, and
caught me as I swerved
toward it, pushing me through the opening so hard that
I careened off the wall. I started
to fall, and jerked my hands up for balance, catching
the side of the hallway and pulling
myself upright. It was a short lived victory, as I
soon felt his hand at the small of my
back. A strange, intense heat emanated from it, and I
felt like his hand was spot-welded
to my body– I couldn’t move except to walk forward.
Not unless I wanted to feel even
more pain. He led me back to my room in this fashion,
telekinesing open the door lock.

I started to walk in, but he pushed me again, harder
than ever. I slammed full force into
the wall and slowly slid to the floor, my will to
resist far gone, my will to even respond
driven from me. I felt like a world of pain, both in
body and mind. I just sat there on the
floor, curled into a tight ball, making a low keening
sound that I didn’t even recognize as
coming from me. I felt the misery coalesce in me, and
I felt something else at its core, a
deep, dark red light that I reached for with all the
strength I had left. The Dark Side
answered my call, and a river of rage broke free of
its moorings and surged through
every synapse, burning away the wine and the stronger
opiate of the fear he’d induced
in me. The eyes that I raised to look at my Dark Lord,
my suddenly abusive lover, were
black as the abyss. “How dare you,” came the growl
from deep in my throat, several
registers below my normal voice.

The Dark Lord didn’t hear the warning. “Look at you,”
he raged. “Making a spectacle of
yourself with that ridiculous Falleen, acting like a
drunken whore. Pathetic!” he spat,
disgust seeping through every word.

I slowly stood, letting the rage build. “ME! What
about *you*? You’re the goddamn
WHORE! You not only sell yourself for money, you sell
yourself for any little bit of the
Dark Side you can *trick* out of your little Jedi
girl. I *gave* myself to Xizor, just like I
gave myself to you, you worthless son of a bitch!”

He looked like he was ready to murder me, but I was
beyond caring. I felt him summon
the Force, I felt him throw *something* at me with all
his strength. I channeled my rage
into my hands with everything I had. A deep, endless,
primal scream was ripped from
my throat as the Dark power tore through my body. I
looked at my hands in utter
amazement as sharp, crackling bolts of electricity
erupted outward from every finger. I
smelled the ozone tang in the room as the lightning
leapt forward and exploded against
whatever it was that he called up. The two energies
collided in the center of the room
and were somehow sucked into the black, whirling void
that the floor had become.

The strange eruption of energy in me had taken all I
had. Bereft of the anger, I sank
against the wall and sobbed. I lifted my head slightly
to watch Exar look at his hands,
then at me, completely astonished. I could suddenly
tell– the bizarre Dark Side vortex
had also robbed him of all of his Force-strength. We
looked at each other, both our
faces haunted with pain.

“How dare you interfere in my business,” Exar snapped,
the first to break the
oppressive silence. “If you had not intruded, she
would have Turned completely.”

“If I had not intruded,” I said softly, “you would
simply have broken her. You would have
utterly lost what you clearly value so highly.”

“What are you talking about? I would have thought you
would appreciate seeing your
Crysta embrace the Dark Side.”

Oh, now she was *my* Crysta! “You went way beyond
that! Tell me, how is it that you
can pander to her feelings and yet berate me for
having them?”

“What, this is about *jealousy*? How ridiculous.”

“No, Exar, it’s about respect. And you only respect
what you can gain from force or
deception. I chose the Sith Way. I chose the Darkness.
I even chose *you*. In your
mind, it means nothing. No, it means less than
nothing. You *comfort* her, respect her
feelings. You call *me* weak, you throw me into tests
designed to kill me if I couldn’t
measure up to your impossible standards! And don’t
tell me it’s because I’m Sith and
she isn’t, because you don’t even do to other Sith
what you do to me!”

He stared at me for a moment. I didn’t think he
expected me to say that, but I couldn’t
interpret the expressions that flitted across his
face. “I am the Dark Lord of the Sith,” he
said finally. “I will do as I please, when I please.”

“That’s true, Exar. But my choice is whether I let you
do it to me.” I walked over and laid
my keys on the desk.

“What are you doing?” he demanded, looking...I would
almost say “fearful” if I didn’t
know him better.

“I quit my job,” I said flatly. I picked up the
holocron from its shelf and deposited it in his
hands. “And now I quit you.”

I didn’t wait for an answer, I just brushed past him
and walked calmly into the hall until I
turned the corner. Then I ran for the door as fast as
my feet could carry me and ran out
of the building into the night until I could run no
longer. Then I walked and walked for
hours until I knew he wouldn’t be looking for me. Only
then did I return to my guest
room at NFR. Then, when all the physical activity had
driven away the desire to curl up
and weep forever. Instead, I sat on the bed, my arms
around my knees, and stared off
into nothingness. I thought about my life, my
Sithhood. I thought about Maul. I thought
about all those things that were intrinsically a part
of me, that would never and could
never change no matter what happened with Kun. And I
tried not to think about the part
of me that was Exar’s. The part that I had tried to
rip out and throw away. As if I could.


“that I would be loved even when I numb myself
that I would be good even when I am overwhelmed
that I would be loved even when I was fuming
that I would be good even if I was clingy

that I would be good even if I lost sanity
that I would be good
whether with or without you.”      -Alanis Morissette

================

Title: Back to Good, part 7
Author: Ziggy


        I had really done it this time.

        I sighed as I paced my room before flopping back down on the bed. I had *really* done it this time. Because I had opened my big yap and let my emotions get out of control I had encouraged others to do things that I was now regretting with a vengence. I sighed, shaking my head in an attempt to forget what had woken me up - Crysta storming out. It hadn't taken long to get the whole story and now I felt lower than dirt. Something had to be done.

      I raised my head at the tentative knock on the door. "Come in," I sighed, and winced as Luke entered, the real Luke. I could tell from his demeanor. "So, what are we gonna do?" I asked, dejected.

      "I was going to ask you the same thing," he sighed. All of this because we each thought the other was going to tell Crys about the clone.

     "I can't believe this...all of this because I had to have my way..."

     "There wasn't much you could do to get away!" he argued and I sighed.

     "I could've said no...I could've refused, but I didn't. I dunno...maybe I really am a heartless, selfish bitch..." I sighed, wondering if this was how villains felt...if so, then I must be one, because no one loved a villain. I had to admit, I was terrified...there was a tiny voice in my mind that kept wondering where Qui and Obi were...they had left after their encounter with Crysta...I had had the opportunity to see that accidentally coming out of my room. I knew there had been interest, but...from a spectator's view that looked like more than the mild interest they express in most customers. What if they had cloned Luke so they could trade me in? After she had ran out I had tried reaching them, but they were busy with customers, more than usual. What if they were trying to send me a message?

    Hissing through my teeth, I told myself to shut up and stop being selfish and fix this mess. But how? "If only none of this had ever happened," I sighed and Luke nodded absently. A lightbulb blinked on in my mind at that thought. Quickly, I jumped up and went to my desk drawer and pulled out a crystal.

   Luke sat up at the sight of it, incredulous. "Can you wish that none of it would have happened?" he asked quietly.

   "I could...but I won't. That would be too cruel...that would be even more manipulative than anything Jareth would do..." I paused and pulled out an envelope. "This came yesterday...as part of my alimony I'm entitled to a small portion of the labyrinth for my own uses..."

   "You could send the clone there and keep him safe! That way he wouldn't be unhappy and...neither would you," he finished quietly and I sighed bitterly, flipping the envelope over in my hands. It would all be so easy, so terribly easy...Jareth wouldn't like it, but he had no say. I could have what I had dreamed of for eight long years...

   Steeling my resolve, I put the envelope into the drawer and shut it. "No...I have a better idea," I said quietly as I grabbed my laptop and some files, then silently walked to Luke's room with him following me all the way. This was going to be so hard...but it was the only way.

  Upon entering the room my eyes fell on the clone and I almost cried. If only things could be as simple as dreams. With a quick gesture that only the real Luke could see, I wished hard and the crystal turned into a ripe peach.

   "Hey, love, hungry?" I asked, sauntering over to where the clone was stretched out on the bed. He perked up instantly and I smiled to cover my damp eyes.

   "I was wondering when you'd find me...for me?" he asked, taking the fruit and I nodded - I didn't trust my voice. "Somehow I think you'll taste much sweeter," he purred and I fought the urge to snatch the fruit from his hands then and there.

   "It's a special variety...go ahead, take a bite," I urged, reassuring him with the Force. Nodding, he bit into it and I cringed at the sound of teeth tearing the juicy flesh. He frowned as he chewed, then swallowed.

   "This tastes...strange..." he murmured, examining the peach. "Love, what have you done?" he asked, looking directly into my eyes. I gave him a bitter smile and sighed.

   "The right thing..."

   "Everything's dancing," he managed before passing out onto the bed. Luke started to rush towards him but I held out a hand, stopping him.

   "He's fine, just wait a bit..." I told him, then opened the laptop on his desk as an angry ?Maul stormed in.

   "What have you done, fool? Where is she!?"

   "You're right, it was my fault and I take full responsibility for it...I'm a selfish brat, there, I've said it, happy now?" I asked, raising an eyebrow. "She's at NFR and if I were you I'd get over there quick...Exar realized that Xixor was over there and wasn't happy about it...those two are not going to have a good confrontation and she's going to be torn after it...get over there and help her out! And...tell her that I know I've been a shitty boss, so I'm making it up to her..." I added, tapping on the computer keys. "I wish she wouldn't quit but I understand...so I'm forwarding a month and a half of my salary into her account...if she needs more have her let me know..." I added, staring up into firey eyes. The sith stood, speechless for a few moments, then nodded before walking out the door.

  "You didn't have to-" I cut Luke off with a wave of my hand and finished my typing. By the time I was done the clone was stirring on the bed.

  "Where am I...who am I?" he asked and I nearly cried at the final effects of the fruit. One thing I'll say about labyrinthian peaches, they're effective for amnesia.

"You're at the RaJ complex, where you work," I said, trying to sound my most professional. "I'm your boss, Ziggy...your name is Luuuke and you've just come out of the clone machine," I explained, glancing at Luke who watched silently.

   "Should I know you...you look familiar," he said and I strained to stay strong.

   "I'm no one important," I said before daring to reach out with the Force to him. Nothing. Not a thing, no love, no caring, no nothing. The way it should be, the way it was everytime I reached out to the real Luke. It was the way he'd feel about me forever, whether I liked it or not. In one of the few things that I would have died to have, I would never measure up.

   "Okay," he said, shrugging. "So, when do I get to meet the customers?" he asked, his features lighting up and I almost broke down.

  "Right now...one of the interns will get you hooked up," I said and he nodded eagerly before hurrying to the stairs.

  "Selah-"

  "I'm fine!" I lied, taking a deep breath.

   "But that clone is still going to make Crysta feel uncomfortable..."

  "I know. Here," I said, handing him a file folder.

   "What is it?"

   "Your contract, all your information. It's your choice to stay or go. I can keep the clone on in your place for the Luke devotees that are out there. You can leave and go with Crysta, if that's what you want," I added, handing it over. It's your decision," I reassured him.

   "Why..." he managed after a moment. "After all this...why are you doing all this?" he stammered, staring in shock at his freedom.

   "Because," I sighed, putting on a brave smile. "I love you," I whispered, just daring to give him a peck on the cheek before heading towards the door. "Happy Valentine's Day," I added before I ran down the stairs to my office, tears blinding my vision. After a while, once I had calmed down, I realized that I needed to talk to her sometime. No matter what happened to me, she needed to be happy. With Luke. That's the way it needed to be. Drying my eyes, I headed out the door, following Luke, to the NFR complex. I watched as he entered silently, then interrupted a conversation between Han, Chewie, Gill, and Crys. Their expressions did not look good, and they hadn't even noticed me yet, or the folder in his hand. Sighing, I leaned in the doorway and waited.

===============

Title: Back to Good, part 8
Author: Crysta Novelli

"I was just afraid I'd lost him, Gill," I said softly, the sadness coming through my voice once again.

"You haven't lost me, Crysta," a familiar voice answered from the entrance way. 

All eyes turned to regard Luke, who stood in the doorway, looking much the way the rest of us felt. Ziggy was just behind him, looking very much like she was trying not to cry.

So... he'd finally found me. However, now that he was here, I *still* didn't know what to say to him, or to any of them. I looked from Luke, to Ziggy, to Gill beside me, to Han. Luke and Ziggy looked upset, sorry, and fearful. Gill and Han wore matching expressions of anger, and I half expected them to jump Luke and Ziggy and start pounding on them.

"Well, well, well," Han spoke up gruffly, "Nice of you two to join us. Care to say anything before we skin you both alive?"

Luke's gaze fell on Han, then swept to me, then to Ziggy, and then back to me. Ziggy's gaze wandered the room, landing everywhere *but* on me. Neither one got a chance to speak, though, because at that moment Corran Horn wandered into the room, munching on an apple.

"Hey, any of you seen Wedge?" the pilot asked, chomping into the apple. 

All eyes turned to regard the intruder as he looked around the room and finally landed on Han. He caught Han's glare, and held up his hands.  "Hey, sorry - am I interrupting something here?" he asked.

"Yeah, kid, you are," Han growled at him.

The ex CorSec agent's eyes swept the room once again, taking in the situation. "Hmm....," he said, looking us all over. "Okay. Let me get this straight - You," he said pointing to Luke, "love her." He pointed to me. Then he looked at Ziggy, "You're sorry for whatever it is you did," he said. "You two," he pointed at Han and Gill, "are mad at these two," he finished as he gestured to Luke and Ziggy. "Right?" 

"So, any of you seen Wedge?" Corran asked again, crunching into his apple.

"Kitchen." Han replied succinctly. 

The other Corellian tipped his apple in a mock salute, then turned and left the room, leaving us staring after him, dumbfounded. 

I shifted my gaze from Corran as he dropped the finished apple core into the trash with a loud 'ker-thunk' on his way down the hall. Luke's love for me was so obvious that Corran could read it? And Ziggy was *sorry*? But could either of them fix what had happened?

My gaze met Luke's and held it. Yes, the bond was there. This was *my* Luke, and he *did* love me. He was worried, scared that he'd hurt me, but he *loved* me - of that I was certain. I watched as he set a folder he held in his hands down on the end table just inside the door, then slowly crossed the room to me, not lowering his gaze for a moment.

I rose off the couch as he drew closer, then threw my arms around him in a huge, desperate hug. His arms circled around my waist, pulling me tightly against him. His warmth washed over me like the comforting blanket I was in such desperate need of. Gods, how I loved him! And I knew at that moment that I *hadn't* lost him. Everything was going to be fine.

Despite the reassurance of him, or maybe because of it, the tears surfaced once again, and I let them come, sobbing into his shoulder. Luke's hand rubbed my back soothingly, and he poured love and comfort over our bond as freely as the tears poured from my eyes. It felt so good to just be in his arms, being held, and feeling that love that I'd grown addicted to and couldn't live without. 

Luke just held me for a long time, until the tears subsided and I had gotten it all out of my system. It felt so good to just let go of the pain, letting it dissipate into the Force. If I'd have had my way, I would have done that *hours* ago, but no..... I had to get help from a certain *Sith*! But no, I wasn't going to get angry. I'd already seen what *that* accomplished.

When I finally stopped crying, Luke pulled away just enough to look into my eyes. A hand snaked up from around me to gently wipe away my tears, and he placed a gentle kiss on my forehead.

"I love you," he spoke softly, backing up his words with his emotions. "I love you, and I'm sorry," he repeated. "Gods, am I sorry!" His breath hissed out from between pursed lips.

I nodded slightly, looking deep into his eyes, and into his soul. "I know," I breathed softly.

"Selah's sorry, too, Crys," he told me gently, and I turned to see her standing uncomfortably off to the side, barely restraining her own tears. She nodded, but only brushed my gaze with her own before hanging her head in shame.

My gaze then passed to the end table next to her, and the folder lying on top of it. The question passed through my mind, and Luke answered it.

"It's my file," he said softly. "From Rent-a-Jedi. Selah handed it to me - she's giving me the option of leaving the company," he explained to my dumbfounded stare.

"Your... your *file*?!?" I asked, bewildered, trying to understand what he was saying. 

He nodded, and I turned to Ziggy in astonishment. "You did this?" My voice expressed my utter shock at the situation. She had given him the chance to quit, to walk away, to forget her and the company, and to be with me. No strings attached?

Ziggy nodded slowly, her head hung low. "It's the least I could do, after the trouble I've caused... I'm *so* sorry, Crysta!" Her wide eyes raised to meet mine, and I felt her anguish and deep regret at what they'd done.

"What about the... *clone*?" I asked, not sure that I really wanted to hear the answer. "He wouldn't happen to be a disposable clone, like the one you gave Jareth was, would he?" The hope was obvious in my voice, but I knew that was too good to be true.

"No," Luke said softly, "he's not temporary... but Selah did give him a peach and erased his memory. Wiped it clean - he remembers nothing. *And*, if I leave, he would take my place at the company."

I looked at Ziggy, and she nodded faintly. Wow. If she wiped his memory boards clean, he wasn't *her* Luke any more. That had to have been *hard* for her to do! 

Han spoke up then. "You did the right thing, kid," he told her. I glanced over at him, and his expression showed that he understood just how hard that had to have been for her. Gill's face showed the same.

I echoed my thoughts. "Thank you, Selah... I know how hard that must have been for you."

She nodded, and finally met my gaze. I knew at that moment that both of us had come to some major crossroads today. She'd forced herself to give up the very thing that I couldn't live without. Perhaps I'd been too harsh on her earlier... Gill was right - we were all only human, and our lives were shaped by the things we needed and desired. She desired Luke, but I knew that the clone had been created without her consent. She hadn't asked for it - someone had given it to her. Those someones were a couple of Jedi that loved her very much and hated to see her longing for someone she could never have. Though Luke had agreed to donate his DNA, it wasn't his fault, nor was it Selah's. The two in whose hands the blame lay were nowhere around. She held my gaze as understanding passed between us, then cast her eyes back down to her feet.

"Ahem..." Han cleared his throat. "I need to take care of a few things before dinner, if you think you'll be all right..."

I looked over and caught him lightly tap Gill with his foot. "Um... yeah," she said, "I need to... work on the payroll some more. Will you be okay, Crys?" she asked, looking into my eyes.

I nodded. "Yeah, I'll be okay, now," I said, looking back to Luke briefly. "Thanks, Gill, Han," I said gratefully. "You'll look in on Liz, won't you?" I asked as they turned to leave.

"Of course, kid," Han replied, and then they were gone, and we were alone.

I turned to Selah. "Where are Qui and Obi?" I asked her.

She shook her head slightly. "I don't know," was her reply. She looked up again and met my gaze, and I saw the hurt in her eyes as much as I felt it radiating from her through the Force. It was directed at *me*! How in the galaxy had *I* hurt *her*?

"Selah?" I asked softly, "what is it? What happened?" 

"I saw them with you, Crysta," she said, her voice barely a whisper.

Saw them with me? Whaaa- "Oh, Gods," I breathed as I remembered. It had only been a few hours ago, yet it seemed as if it had happened in another life! *So* much had happened since then, and I'd *totally* forgotten about the encounter in the hallway.

"What happened?" Luke asked, concern for both of us creeping into his voice.

"They kissed me," I said. "In the hallway, *before* I went upstairs. I'd completely forgotten about that... It seems so long ago..."

Luke looked at me, then at Selah, then back to me as he asked, "How did they kiss you?"

I thought back to it, drawing the memory up from the depths of my mind where it had been shoved due to the more recent events I'd been through. "Well... It was exploratory," I began slowly. "Qui-Gon started it... He had gotten into my face to keep me from attacking Braid-boy when he tried to mind-whammy me into not going upstairs, and the next thing I knew, his lips were on mine."

"Did you like it?" Luke asked, intrigued.

I raised my eyebrow as I considered that question. "Well, it was *different*, and *totally* unexpected, but yeah, I guess I did..."

A sharp hiss escaped Ziggy's lips, and we turned to look at her. Suddenly it dawned on me why she was upset with me - she was *jealous*! She was actually *jealous* of me, and I could only imagine what was going through her mind. I had already taken Luke from her, and now she more than likely thought she was losing Qui and Obi. Of course that wasn't true, but she obviously thought it was.

"Oh, Selah, I'm sorry!" I said quickly, going over to her. "The guys were just curious about me! You have absolutely *nothing* to worry about." She looked up at me, but I could tell she didn't believe me. "Yes, I returned their kisses, Selah, but it was only a one time thing. I can't see there being any repeats - I'm pretty sure that one encounter satisfied their curiosity. Especially after I slammed Obi into the wall..."

She looked up quickly as I mentioned that, and I smiled. "Braid-boy forgot *who* he was kissing," I said. "His hand wandered, and I didn't appreciate it. Before he knew what had hit him, he was Force shoved against the far wall. I guess you didn't see that, huh?"

Ziggy shook her head slowly, and I continued. "I love Luke, not them, and they don't love me. They love *you*. You know that, right?"

She nodded, but the doubt radiating from her shocked me. She *didn't* know that! Or at least, she didn't *believe* it.

"Selah," Luke said seriously, "you can't seriously doubt their love for you, can you?" She looked up, but didn't say anything. "Selah, you have the Force. *They* have the Force. Can't you feel your bond in the Force? The three of you have one - a *strong* one! They love you so much..."

"They do, Selah," I agreed, trying to reassure her. "If you had stuck around, you'd have heard them admit that, and heard them apologize to me." 

Her eyes widened at that. "They *apologized*?"

"Mmm hmm," I nodded. "They really do love you, Selah."

"That's why they made that clone, Selah," Luke continued. "They wanted you to be happy. They know you love them, but that you, well... you know..." He couldn't quite bring himself to say 'want me, but can't have me'. "None of us stopped to think about the consequences, though, which is where we all went wrong. Innocent people, people that we *love*," Luke squeezed my shoulders softly and pressed his cheek to mine from behind me as he spoke, "got hurt, and now, though we'd love to just go back and wish that the whole thing never happened, we *can't* do that, and now we have to work through this."

Selah nodded, biting her lower lip. I could tell she was thinking about what we'd said, but that she still wasn't convinced. 

Obviously, Luke could tell as well, because he reiterated what he'd just said. "Selah, use the Force the next time you see them. It will tell you the truth - they *do* love you, very much."

She nodded again, then spoke. "I'm sorry... I've caused such a mess! You two deserve to be happy - you're perfect for each other, and all I ever manage to do is get in the way and cause trouble. I know I can't change what happened, but I can change the way I go about things from now on. I've always dwelled on what *might* have been between us," she said softly, looking at Luke, "instead of on what I *do* have. I don't know why Obi and Qui bother to stay with me... I just don't know..." she finished sadly.

I crossed the meter between us in a heartbeat and enveloped her in a firm hug. Her arms wrapped around me in return, grateful for it. I needed the hug as much as she did - this had been one hell of a day, and we'd *all* been through a lot. And all because a couple of Jedi decided they knew best, without consulting the parties it would most affect.

Ziggy pulled away after a moment, and I could tell that she was still uncomfortable around me. She did deeply regret all that had happened, but in my eyes she'd redeemed herself better than I'd have ever thought possible. I couldn't be mad at her any more. Well, if she didn't wake up and realize that Obi and Qui really *did* love her, I was going to smack her so hard her head spun, but she'd given up 'her' Luke *and* offered *my* Luke his freedom... And that said a lot.

Obi and Qui were still dead meat in my book, and I would definitely *not* stop Gill and Han if they decided to castrate the two of them. I had my Luke back, and I knew for certain that he would *never* forget to talk to me about something ever again. He *was* only human, but he learned quickly. And how could I not forgive someone who honestly loved me so deeply? I'd never even *imagined* that love could be so strong and wonderful, and here I was *experiencing* it!

"So..." Ziggy said softly, "what are you going to do?"

I glanced at her, then looked into Luke's stormy blue eyes. "We need to talk," I replied. 

Luke nodded, keeping my gaze, then turned to Ziggy. "I'm going to take a couple of days off work... I need to spend some quality time with Crys, and the clone should be able to handle my calls. We need to seriously discuss a lot of things, including your offer." Luke wrapped his arms around me and pulled me close, and I nodded. Yes, we definitely had a *lot* to talk about. I sighed deeply, and leaned into him as Ziggy nodded her understanding.

"Yes, by all means - you can have all the time off you want. I wish you both the best of luck, and again, I'm sorry. I'm *so* sorry!"

"Thanks, Selah," I said softly, and Luke added, "Everything will be all right. You'll see."

She nodded, and then turned slowly, lost in her thoughts. We watched her walk from the room and towards the front door of NFR, hopefully heading back to the Rent-a-Jedi complex. I hoped she got everything worked out with Obi and Qui. I also hoped Liz got things worked out with Kun. I shuddered at that memory once again, and Luke drew me closer, enveloping me once more with his love and comfort.

"I love you," he breathed softly against my neck, and I knew his words were the truth. I sighed once more. Yes, we *definitely* needed to talk.

============

Title: Back to Good, part 9
Author: Per’agana (peragana@yahoo.com)

Note: I’ll admit...Exar’s pillows and bathroom were
inspired by a visit to the Home Depot
Expo. It’s a new store that features home design stuff
for ultra-wealthy people (I can
just look and wish!), including these things that I
found rather...inspirational! (Yup. I can
even get aroused in a decorating store. Exar, what are
you doing to me?!?)

********************

I didn’t know what to do with myself. I had quit my
job, walked out on one of my
Masters, had the whole “whore conversation”, and my
other Master was Gods only
knew where. I knew I had to find the time to deliver
my formal letter of resignation to
Ziggy, but that was one more confrontation that I
didn’t need, so I put it off. I also put off
packing all my things at Rent-a-Sith and figuring out
where in the galaxy to go next. I
told myself it was because I was waiting for Maul to
come back, but really that was
nonsense. Maul was the best tracker the Sith had ever
known, even without the help of
our bond. He could find me anywhere.  In reality, it
was because I had absolutely no
clue what to do next. I was at loose ends, and I was
damned if I was going to spend all
my time sitting alone in my guest room at NFR feeling
sorry for myself. I could talk to
Mary, she’d been kind enough to offer, but I felt that
I needed more *talk* about as
much as I needed to shoot myself in the foot. I’d done
enough talking in the last day or
so to last me a lifetime.

What I did was walk. Looking at all the busy traffic
flying all over Coruscant, I was
amazed how easy it was to actually walk around if you
choose to. It was also amazing
to me that there were so many little parks and gardens
in this maze of concrete and
durasteel. I think I sought them all out...along with
the more desolate landscape of the
far underground. I took quite the risk going there,
but my lightsaber and my link to the
Dark Side kept me alive, my rage kept the predators
far away. Most of them,
anyway...the ones that chose to see me as an easy
target were quickly disabused of
that notion. I was, as I had known, Sith– with or
without Exar’s approval.

But I couldn’t put off the inevitable forever. I had
R3 check both the Rent-a-Sith
schedule and Ziggy’s schedule so that I could find a
time when Exar was working and
Ziggy was at class. I decided that I would go then and
finish packing. I would deliver my
letter of resignation to T. A confrontation with Ziggy
would be neither useful nor
productive, it would only hurt us both.

Walking back through the doors at Rent-a-Sith, I was
surprised at how it seemed like
nothing had changed. Everything seemed normal, as if
all that had happened between
Exar and I had happened in another world or something.
I looked around at my little
closet-office, feeling an odd sense of regret. This
job had been nothing like I’d expected
it to be, but after all these months it had a sense
of...well, I seemed to belong here, and
this office felt like a home. I tried to dismiss the
thought and concentrated on packing
my personal effects.

That accomplished, I had a look at my schedule,
intending to record some notes for
Ziggy or whomever took over my position. The last item
on the list for today stopped
me. I frowned, and called R3 in.  “R3, what is this
meeting tonight? I don’t remember
scheduling this...”

He beeped at me, and I looked at him in surprise, now
more than a little pissed at
Ziggy. “She scheduled a meeting with a new printing
vendor for 8 o’clock at night and
didn’t bother to tell me?!?” Lovely. Well, I thought,
I might as well go to this one. It was
coming up too quickly to find and brief one of the
interns. That, and I’d been trying to
find a new printer for Rent-a-Sith for over a month.
The last one had proven notoriously
unreliable, and I’d last heard from the company
slightly before Freedon Nadd had told
me he’d “handle” it. I winced. Yes, I was the best one
for this meeting– I’d just let it be
my last action as manager of Rent-a-Sith.

I took all the necessary samples and things with me so
I wouldn’t have to return to
Rent-a-Sith for them, and left from NFR when it was
time for the meeting. Eight p.m.
was an absolutely bizarre time for a meeting like
this, so I’d expected that the cab would
take me to an industrial district appropriate for what
I’d assumed would be a 24-hour
printshop. Instead, the address in my schedule turned
out to be a residential tower, and
a very luxurious one at that.

I gave my card to the concierge-droid at the front
desk, and he motioned me toward a
discreet bank of turboshafts. The lobby shouted
“money!” very loudly, and I was
beginning to get a bit nervous. We don’t spend *that*
much money on printing, after all.

The turboshaft doors opened into a small foyer with a
single door at the end. I pressed
the announcement buzzer and waited. The door opened
quickly, and I could see,
between the thickness of the door and the various
laser-optics that surrounded it,
enough to decide that this place was as secure as the
Republic Army’s war room.
Stranger and stranger.

Through the door I was met by a top-of-the-line
protocol droid, who quickly ferried me
into a living room/dining room combination. It left me
to lay out my samples while it
fetched me a drink, saying that its master would be
there soon. Odd that the droid didn’t
simply refer to a Mr. So-and-So the way they usually
did.

took my coat off and had a quick look around. I was
impressed. The place was
small–at least in this room– which was fairly typical
for flats in this part of Coruscant, the
famed land of small square footage and completely
outrageous cost. I was drawn first
to the windows, huge floor-to-ceiling swipes of
transparisteel that perfectly displayed the
Endless City’s breathtaking evening skyline. I easily
picked out several large
government buildings and spotted the spire of the Jedi
Temple prominently displayed in
their midst. A view like this did *not* come cheap.

My sentiments were echoed by the unusual furnishings.
The room was a deep ochre,
with a slightly primal feel from the rare animal skins
that graced two of the walls.  Some
of the furniture was lacquer, made the old-fashioned,
incredibly time-consuming way.
Again, extremely valuable. I was getting very nervous
indeed. Our contract simply
wasn’t big enough to be worth the time of someone with
this sort of wealth. I couldn’t for
the life of me fathom why he’d be interested, but it
wasn’t likely to be good. I didn’t
bother laying out my samples and files. I’d simply
tell the person that Rent-a-Sith would
likely not be a viable client for them.

The droid returned just then with my drink, and
announced that its master would be
right in. “Don’t bother,” I said, quickly gathering my
coat and briefcase. “I really can’t
stay. I really don’t think your master would be
interested, after all.”

“Oh, I think I’m *very* interested,” said a very
familiar voice from behind me.

Shit. I’d been had. I whipped around to face him. “So,
there really was no meeting. You
just stuck that in my schedule to get me here.
Wherever here is, anyway.”

Exar shrugged. “‘Here’ is my apartment. Like it?”

I looked at him, exasperated. “What? What do you
want?”

“Just to tell you how pleased I am that you passed my
test.”

“What...test?”

“I wanted to test your strength. By leaving me, you
proved that you are strong, that you
cannot be controlled. Very well done!”
     
I looked up, trying to hold my anger in. And failed.
“Oh, I do *not* believe this! You
dragged me across the city to tell me this line of
bullshit? That you did all this as
another test? Gods, does your ego know NO bounds??” I
glared at him. “No, don’t say
it. That is *it*! I don’t want to hear another fucking
word!” I spun on my heel and headed
for the door.

His next words were said so softly that they barely
registered, but something about the
tone stopped me cold. “No. This was not a test. But
the others...I had to know. You had
to be perfect. Sidious would have attacked you, killed
you.”

I turned slowly. He *said* little, but what he said
between the lines was enough to force
the air from my lungs. I had been so completely
wrong... Yes, I thought, he put me
through all those tests, had been so afraid of my
feelings for Tam and Crysta, because
he wanted me to be perfect. Because *he* hadn’t been.
Because he’d been weak, and
Freedon Nadd had taken advantage of it. He didn’t want
me to be hurt the way he had
been. I let out a long breath and slowly looked at
him.

He still looked arrogant and strong, but there was
something different about him. A
rigidness in his stance that replaced his normally
languid, relaxed pose. He didn’t feel in
control of this situation, and that astonished me.

“You’re right,” he said quietly. “I didn’t treat you
as I did other Sith. They are of no
consequence to me, other than as my subjects. You are
*my* apprentice.”
                 
“But that didn’t matter to you. You took me as
apprentice solely to get Maul as an ally,
to force he and Vader to become enemies. To divide and
conquer the apprentices of
your rival. I was just...cover.”

He nodded. “True. But you have proven yourself
stronger than I would ever have
imagined. I did not think much of choosing the Dark
Side, this is true. But it seems to
have given you a certain power that I did not
foresee.”

He said no more, but it had its effect. In Sith terms,
this was partially an apology, and
also something far more damning for Exar. An admission
that I mattered to him. His
fear of appearing weak would prevent him from ever
saying more than that, but this was
all I needed to hear to understand how badly I’d
misunderstood. Which left me in a bit
of a quandary. He had done the equivalent of asking me
to take him back, which I
wanted nothing more than to do, but the challenge was
that I had to do so without
reference to that reality. The Dark Side is
convoluted, I thought. So much effort put into
avoiding “light” terminology like love and
forgiveness. Well, I thought. I can play this
game. I looked at him and dropped my eyes in
deference. “I still have much to learn, my
Lord.” I said in what I hoped was fairly accurate
Sith. I trusted that I’d spent enough
time studying the language that I didn’t accidentally
tell him that I appreciated his
potatoes, or something equally ridiculous!

I raised my head and his eyes briefly met mine. Yes, I
understand, they seemed to say.
“And so you do,” he said simply. “Come, apprentice. I
have something to show you.”

I dropped my things and followed him through a door
and into a narrow hallway. He
paused before another door, took off his shoes, and
asked me to do the same. I looked
at him oddly, but complied. As soon as I removed them,
the hallway was plunged into
darkness. Oh, no, I thought. Not another test!

I heard the door hiss open and heard Exar moving away
from me. “Come. Feel your
way through the door,” he told me. I did so, and I
noticed that the floor on the other side
of the entrance felt strange under my feet. He
commanded me to walk forward a bit
more, and then told me to stop. He told me to sit, and
I felt his hand on my shoulder,
guiding me. I sunk down onto what felt like a giant
pillow, shaggy on top and
unbelievably soft. “Bulenth wool,” he said from right
behind me. I just smiled. It felt
wonderful!

“Activate,” Exar called, and the room burst into a
hundred thousand tiny points of light.
It was a holo-room, I realized, including the floor
and ceiling! This particular program
was nothing short of amazing. The galaxy swirled
around me, over me, and under me.
The pillow comprised the only black spot in the room,
and it felt like we were flying
through space on a giant black cloud. I looked over
the pillow’s edge, and the sense of
infinite distance nearly gave me an instant sense of
vertigo. “It’s impressive,” I said,
trying to hide the fact that acrophobia had chosen
that moment to emerge.

“It is more than merely a collection of stars,
planets, and space debris,” Exar said softly.
“It is our history, and our future.”

He somehow shifted the holo, and it was as if we were
moving up to a certain planet,
not only seeing it closer, but actually seeming to
advance on it. “This is Arkania,” he
said.

We moved ever closer to Arkania, and surface details
began to become apparent.
Slowly I was able to pick out the features of what
looked like a low, long castle or
fortress. It was an unbelievably old building, made of
weathered black stone. It seemed
forbidding, but fascinating at the same time. “This
was Veeshas Tuwan,” he said. “It
was the largest library-temple in the history of the
ancient Sith. At its height, it covered
more than five square kilometers and burrowed
countless levels into the ground.”

Wow, I thought. What I wouldn’t give to explore a
place like that! Which led me to
wonder why we weren’t... As I thought about it, I
noticed that the holo was beginning to
change. We pulled back from the building and I watched
in horrified fascination as
legions of archaic ships arrived and began to bomb the
building. When the outside of
the darkly beautiful building was turned to rubble,
the ships disgorged groups of Jedi,
each wielding a lightsaber. The Jedi descended into
the ruin, and shortly thereafter
came running out of the structure and re-boarded their
ships. As the Jedi ships pulled
away, explosions tore through the structure and great
columns of fire erupted into the
air. Veeshas Tuwan was no more. I knew I was only
watching a simulation of events
that had happened thousands of years in the past, but
the sense of rage and loss that
passed through me as I watched the desecration left me
nearly breathless. I sensed
similar emotions from Exar without even trying– his
fury was a palpable force in the
room. And I realized that we could both watch this a
hundred, a thousand times and
that feeling would still be undiminished. Destroying a
person is one thing. Destroying an
entire history of a race, a tradition...*our*
tradition!

“Yes,” Exar breathed in response to my unspoken
thought. “They must be made to
answer for that. There is more...watch.”

I watched as the history of Arkania continued to
unfold before my eyes. Millennia
passed and the planet was still unoccupied, barren.
Then, I watched ships arrive
bearing mining equipment. Great machines bore holes
into the core of the planet,
extracting huge, football-sized gems. Even though this
physical wealth was nothing
compared to the spiritual wealth that had already been
lost on this world, I still felt it like
a physical blow. First they destroy our temples, I
thought, then people come to rape the
planet itself. Then, in the final blow, I watched a
solitary ship land. Three Jedi, a Master
and two apprentices, left the ship and established– of
all things– a Jedi training colony.
In case the Dark Side should ever return, I thought
bitterly.

“This is the past, Per’agana,” Exar said. “Now we will
see this planet’s future.” His voice
rang with confidence, and I felt it seep into me. We
had been dealt a horrible blow, but
we were Sith. We would go on. I watched as the holo
advanced yet again, this time
showing the mining ships being driven from the planet
by a host of sleek, black vessels.
Work crews arrived, and I watched a grand and glorious
building being erected. Finally,
I looked upon the finished creation. The building was
spun from smooth, glossy black
stone. Hieroglyphs were incised into the rock, and I
began to read them as well as I
could. Our return. A new Sith Empire. Exar’s name.
Maul’s name....*my* name!

“Yes, my apprentice. *We* will return. We will rebuild
and reconquer. We *will* rise
again!”  The promise and the pride in his voice tore
through me like wildfire. “Yes...,” I
breathed, turning to look at Exar. His sharp features
were limned in the starlight and the
paleness of his skin made him seem to be carved from
stone, yet I fancied that I could
see the flames dancing in his eyes just as they did in
mine.

For a heartbeat and a half, nothing moved. Then he was
on top of me, his tongue
hungrily demanding entry. I kissed him back with equal
abandon. Rage at our loss,
incredible passion at the promise that lay ahead
fueled our desire to a fever pitch. He
tore at my clothes with a fury, leaving the stars
beneath us shrouded in scraps of fabric.
I returned the favor, not caring if I destroyed every
single thing that kept his bare skin
from my touch.

Finally free, I pressed my naked body against his, the
sensations caused from just
having our skin in contact was electrifying beyond
anything I’d expected. His teeth sank
into my shoulder, and I pulled away a little, giving
him free passage to bury my nipple in
his mouth. I felt him sucking, biting harder than
ever, but I didn’t care. I wanted him to
possess me. I wanted to possess him. I pushed him off
me and let my tongue trace a
path up his chest, around his nipple. I drew the
sensitive skin into my mouth and my
tongue and teeth made war with it, attacking,
relenting, feeding the hunger that was
burning within us both. My hands reached down and
cupped his balls, kneading them
softly between my fingers. I strayed up the length of
his cock, feeling it pulse with life
beneath my fingertips as I vigorously massaged it.

He looked at me, and I felt the need in him about to
burst. He snarled and pushed me
into the pillow’s softness, parting my legs and rising
above me. He plunged into me
without preamble and I wrapped my legs tight around
his waist, taking him into me as
deeply as his considerable length could go. His
thrusts were vicious, deep stabs, but I
wanted them this way. I wanted him to breach the core
of me and cause the energy to
erupt in us both. I was the supernova, waiting to
explode. All at once I felt the wave
crest and come crashing down. I screamed as he drove
into me, feeling my body
shudder with the force of my climax. My muscles
contracted around his shaft, and I
could see the pleasure caused by my sudden tightness.
He rammed deep into me
again and growled, his head slamming back as he came
into me. He thrust again and
again, his body shaking with the power of his
explosion.

He tried to pull away, but I held him there. I wasn’t
ready to let our connection go-- I
wanted to feel him contract inside me. He understood
my need and wrapped his arms
around me, his skin tight against mine. His long ebon
hair spilled over me and I inhaled
the delicious scent of it, kissing his neck and
shoulders.

After several seconds I could feel him slowly shrink
inside me, and it was one of the
most oddly *intimate* things I’d ever felt. He tilted
my head toward him and kissed me
deeply, slowly sliding off my body. His shaft left a
trail of wetness across my belly and
legs as he pulled away from me, and I caught some of
it with a fingertip, which I slowly
licked off. Exar smiled at me as he walked from the
room, gesturing for me to follow
him.

I followed him down the hallway into the most
incredible bathroom I’d ever seen. It
was...well, it was both unbelievably sensual and
utterly Exar Kun. Dark stone tile
covered the expanse of the floor, softly reflecting
the flickering light of several fat,
musky-smelling candles. Steam rose from the water in a
huge bathtub set in the center
of the room, easily big enough for us both. An alcove
behind the tub held a dark mirror
inscribed with Sith power runes, and a bronzed statue
of an armored, ancient Sith
warrior sat in a place of pride in front of the
mirror. Exar grinned at me and slipped out
of the room, closing the door behind him.

Well, I thought, why not enjoy it? I slowly slipped
into the hot, wonderfully spicy-smelling
water, and felt my muscles relax almost the second the
water touched them. I leaned
my head back against the back of the tub, which was
cut in an accommodating curve. I
closed my eyes and let the fragrant steam relax me,
let the warm waters caress me.

I must have lost track of time, because I nearly flew
out of the water as fingers softly
touched me. I felt Exar’s slender, strong fingers
caress the side of my face, and flit
across my eyes. I understood. Wanting him to go soft
inside me earlier was an exercise
in trust, since Sith usually only permitted you to see
them strong, in command. In effect,
Exar was now asking for the same trust in return, that
I not open my eyes at all while he
had his way with me. If he’d wanted to, he could have
doused the candles and forced
me to stay blind– the flutter touch across my eyelids
was a question, would I trust him?
To ask instead of order showed his regard for my
Sithhood. At the moment, we were
equals, bonding through the passion aroused by our
shared quest.

I lay my head back, making sure my eyes stayed
completely closed. His hands explored
down my body, tracing runes that I was only partly
able to identify. He had taught me
some of the Sith language this way, tracing the
hieroglyphs across my skin. However,
the energy of our arousal made them seem to course
with energy, and I could feel the
nerve endings leap as he touched me. His fingers ran
up and down my legs, and I could
feel a thin layer of soap-gel on them. I let him wash
my body completely, my skin
thrilling to his every touch. His stroking felt like
the most incredible gift– here, in his own
private sanctum, I was being lifted, empowered, and
consecrated by the Dark Lord of
the Sith. The significance of that was far from lost
on me, in fact, it filled me with
unbelievable awe. A bizarre stray thought wound its
way into my mind– Crysta, if you
were here, feeling this, you would understand. I
smiled at the thought, knowing that I
would *not* want that, but mentally acknowledging my
pleasure at having found her as
a friend *and* feeling with Kun what I could only but
dream about in the past.

The thought broke apart into the air as I felt his
fingers probing past the lips and around
my opening. I felt the warm water flowing around his
fingertips as he massaged my clit,
first gently and then insistently. The sensation of it
drove me nearly wild, and I gasped
aloud as he let one finger, then another stray into
me. I started to grind down on him,
but he stopped me, holding me in place with the Force.
He inserted his fingers into me
ever so slowly, stopping well before they reached
their full length. I growled in
impatience and even with my eyes closed I could feel
his teasing smile. He responded
by withdrawing them completely, stroking just around
the opening. I twisted futilely in his
telekinetic grasp, but he refused to give in to my
need. I *refused* to give him the
satisfaction of me saying anything. A Sith would *not*
beg. “Good,” he said, and
plunged his fingers into me as deep as they would go.
He let the Force-hold go, and I
slammed into him, driving them hard into me. I reached
the perfect rhythm in seconds,
letting go with a low snarl. He was far from done,
though. He stabbed inside me again,
searching for my sweet spot. He drove his fingers into
me again and again, aiming with
perfect precision. I just moaned, long and low and
without end as wave after wave of
infinite pleasure cascaded into me. I never even knew
I *could* come like that!

He pulled his fingers out slowly, having utterly
exhausted me. He stroked my body
softly, then harder, his nails cutting into my skin in
a way that was painful, but incredibly
welcome. My body felt like a giant receptor,
completely sensitized to his every touch.
His strong arms lifted me out of the water. He carried
my dripping body through the
door and into another room. I kept my eyes tightly
closed, but I felt the change in
temperature as we left the bathroom and entered the
new space. I felt a soft
Alderaanian cotton towel under me as he laid me down
on a bed that was firm, yet
wonderfully pliant.

His fingers brushed across my eyes, and I slowly
opened them, taking in Exar’s
bedroom. The walls were a warm terra-cotta, and flames
leapt from a dozen candles in
a complicated wrought-iron sconce on the far wall. The
huge, carved wooden bed
played up Exar’s favorite theme– feral luxury. I let
my head sink into the soft covers,
and I looked up at my Master with ecstasy and
contentment etched into my face. He
favored me with a slow smile, one that continued to
hold the thrill of secrets yet to be
discovered. He stepped up to the bed and ran one hand
across my face, and down the
length of my body. He slowly parted my legs, and his
eyes locked with mine before he
slowly lowered his head. I shivered with delicious
anticipation, though this time he did
not keep me waiting. His tongue caressed my skin,
lingering around the opening,
weaving tighter and tighter spirals until it met the
center. He wrapped his mouth around
my nub, nipping just hard enough for me to cry out,
then softening the pain with expert
flicks of his tongue. One long finger caressed the rim
of my ass, adding to the already
unimaginable sensations flowing through me. His tongue
suddenly lanced into me, and
his finger found its way further into my second chasm.
I thrust against him, meeting
both the softness of his tongue and the insistence of
his finger. My fingers curled in his
hair, urging him deeper. His tongue rode my thrusts
until I completely erupted, and the
pleasure he took in lapping up my juices nearly sent
me over the edge a second time.

I looked down at him, my eyes traveling up and down
his engorged shaft. Ah, it was his
turn now, I thought, moving in on it with obvious
relish. A single bead of fluid gleamed
on the end of the smooth head, and I smiled and slowly
lowered my tongue to meet it. I
swirled the wetness around the head, then taking it in
and licking it clean. My tongue
strayed down the ridge, drawing him further into my
mouth. I reached back and cupped
his ass, taking him completely. A low moan escaped
Exar’s lips, and I thrilled to it,
sucking him harder. Getting a Sith Lord to a place
where he could no longer keep from
letting you know how you affected him was an
incredible, rare pleasure. I almost
gagged from the size of him, but I wanted to hear him
moan. I wanted to heighten the
pleasure to the point that his hand would be on my
head, begging for more. I felt him
thrusting faster, and I pressed my tongue harder into
him as I sucked. I was ready for
his explosion, but to my surprise he caught up my hair
and pulled me away from him.

I looked up at him as he stood in front of the bed,
his cock unbelievably hard and
obviously aching for release. I met his fierce stare
and smiled, turning around. He
grasped my hips hard and pulled me back, and I felt
the tip of him slide into me. His
hands stroked me softly, then grabbed me again, and
this time he plunged into me up
to the base. I felt his balls slap against my skin
from the force of his thrust. He slammed
hard into me again and again, and I rocked back
against him, our rhythm absolutely
perfect. Like he was made to be inside me. I felt
tendrils of the Force caress me as his
mind connected to mine, and dark electricity leapt
across the bond. I let my shields
collapse, and I felt his fall as well, our minds
suddenly as mutually enveloped as our
bodies. I felt the pressure building in him, and felt
my own pleasure reflected through
him. It was nearly more than either of us could take.
Our scream tore through the room
as we came together, shuddering infinitely as the
ecstasy of our climax echoed
between us. *That was absolutely incredible*, I
thought. In answer, his body pressed
against mine, and his hot mouth caressed the back of
my neck.

We pulled away from each other to go clean ourselves,
and after a short while I went
back into the bedroom, intending to ask for some
clothes to replace the tattered
remains in the holo room. A wave of exhaustion hit me
as soon as I entered the room,
and I sunk down onto the bed. I heard Exar come in and
douse the candles, and to my
astonishment, he slipped into bed next to me. I
started to move, unsure if he wanted me
to stay or not. He never had in the past. To my
pleased surprise, Exar’s arm snaked
around my body and he pulled me back against him. I
smiled into the pillow and inhaled
the exotic, musky aroma of his skin. There could be no
greater pleasure, I thought, as I
slowly drifted into sleep.

==================

Title:  Back To Good, part 10

Author:  Crysta Novelli

"Why don't you go change into something more comfortable, something of your own, while I fix us something for dinner?" Luke suggested gently as we entered my apartment.

I nodded in silent agreement and headed towards my bedroom, but he reached out and gripped my hand firmly, halting my progress. I turned back to him to see him smile softly at me and raise his hand to my cheek. A single finger ran along the side of my face, and I smiled back at him. 

"I love you, Crys," he said, and pressed his lips to mine in a gentle kiss. I held his gaze for a long moment, thanking him silently with my eyes and heart, then turned again and headed for the bedroom.

We'd followed Ziggy back to the Rent-a-Jedi complex after the confrontation at No Force Rentals and picked up my aircar, then come back to my apartment. It was quiet, and Luke and I both knew that we'd have the privacy we needed here.

I rummaged through my dresser and pulled out my favorite flannel pants and oversized t-shirt, then swept my hair back and clipped it up. I tossed the clothes I'd borrowed from Liz in the hamper and slid into my slippers. On my way back out to the kitchen, I made a pit stop in the restroom and washed my face and hands. I'd taken the shower in Liz's room earlier, but I still felt dirty. The dirt was inside though, and no matter how many showers I took, it wouldn't come out that easily.

Whatever Luke was fixing smelled wonderful, and I inhaled the pleasant aroma as I entered the kitchen. He looked up from a pot on the stove as I entered and smiled at me.

"Have a seat, Crys - it's almost ready," he said, gesturing to the table. 

I pulled out my chair and sat, just watching him work. He was making pasta of some sort, and he had put the kettle on for tea. We needed to talk, but I wasn't sure what to say, or where to start...

//Shhh....// his voice whispered in my mind. //Don't worry - we have all the time in the world.//

"I'm not going *anywhere*, Crys..." he said, turning slightly to catch my eye. "Talk when you're ready - I'll be here."

I nodded again, suddenly feeling very tired. It had been one hell of a day, and I was exhausted. I crossed my arms on top of the table and laid my head down on them. A few minutes later, a gentle hand fell across my shoulders, and I looked up to see Luke gazing down at me. He squeezed my shoulder softly, and held out a plate of delicious looking pasta. I sat up, and he placed it on the table in front of me.

We ate in silence. My thoughts wandered over the events of the day, and I was everywhere but in that room. The pasta tasted wonderful, but I have to admit that I barely noticed it as I ate. My thoughts kept drifting from the encounter with Qui and Obi in the hallway, to the conversation with the clone, to my conversation with Liz, to the conversation with Han and Gill and Ziggy. My brain thankfully skipped right over the whole mess with Kun...

Before I knew it, Luke had gathered my empty plate up and was rinsing it in the sink. 

"Thanks, Luke." My voice was soft, and far away. He was so wonderful, and I was so grateful for him. I'd never doubt his faithfulness ever again - no matter *what* happened.

"You're welcome," he replied. "I'd do anything for you, you know that," he told me seriously as he held out his hand to help me up from the table. "Come," he said gently, leading me from the room.

I followed him into the bathroom, where he leaned over the tub and opened the faucet. Warm water poured in, and he added some of my favorite bath bubbles. Standing up, he came back to where I stood and caught my hands in his. Wordlessly, he captured my eyes with his, while his hands slowly drifted up to my waist and grasped my t-shirt. He gently raised it, and I raised my arms to allow him to pull it over my head. Next he removed my bra, and then he slipped his fingers into the waistband of my pants, sliding them down. There was nothing seductive about his movements, though... He was merely being caring and loving, which was *exactly* what I needed him to be. He reached down and slipped my underwear off, then led me to the tub.

Luke slipped his own clothes off next, then stepped into the water, holding out his hand to me. I accepted it, and stepped in as well. The water was hot - almost too hot to stand, but not quite. He wrapped his arms around me, and lowered us both slowly into the fragrant basin. I settled in between his legs, leaning back against his chest, his arms around my waist. The water lapped gently at my body, it's heat penetrating my pores and forcing me to relax. I inhaled the sweet perfume of the scented bubbles and sighed deeply.

My back pressed firmly against Luke's muscular chest, heightening our connection through the Force. Like the water, it surrounded us, and I immersed myself within it completely, hoping it would take the memories from my mind and leave me whole once again.

"Crys..." Luke spoke softly, his breath hot against my ear. "We can't change what happened today. All we can do is figure out what to do about it now, dearheart." His words were gentle and soothing, and whether I liked it or not, he was right. What was done was done, and I could either worry and cry over it for the rest of my life, or I could be strong and move on. And with Luke here with me, and the Force as my ally, that option of being strong was definitely possible...

"Yes, Crys, I'm here with you, for you, for as long as you need me, which I *hope* will be forever..." he replied in quiet answer to my thoughts. "I still don't know exactly what happened to you today, though..." 

I realized then that no, he *didn't* know what had happened. I'd only seen him for a few minutes back in Kun's room when he'd charged in... I moaned suddenly as I realized what he must have thought upon seeing me like that. His expression at that moment as he stood in the doorway, and the expressions that followed, as I spoke so harshly to him, flashed through my mind and I suddenly wished I could crawl in a hole and stay there for a very long time. Instead, I turned in his arms and laid on my side in the tub, laying my head sideways against his chest. Luke shifted his grip to wrap me in his arms, hugging me tightly.

"Gods, Luke..." I breathed sadly, "I'm so sorry..."

"What?!?" he asked, shocked. "What in the galaxy do *you* have to be sorry for, Crys??? *I'm* the one that didn't discuss the clone with you before I agreed to let Qui and Obi do it. Qui and Obi are the ones that let you go upstairs and didn't tell you that the person in my room wasn't me! And Exar Kun..." he spat the name out harshly, "*Kun* is the one that took advantage of your emotions and of *you* in that bedroom..." 

"Crys, look at me," he said softly, reaching for my chin with his hand and tipping my head back so that he could look into my eyes. "*Nothing* that happened today was your fault. If *anyone* is sorry today, it's me."

"But Luke, I used the Dark Side!" I cried. "I was rude to you, and didn't listen to you, and ran away from you. I let fear take over, and *completely* forgot all of my training! What kind of a Jedi does that make me?"

"It makes you *human*, Crys," he replied. "I'll have you know that Jedi who have been studying seriously their entire lives will have lapses, and *anyone*, Jedi or not, when put through what you went through today, would have cracked. You're not perfect, no. No one *is*. However, under the circumstances, I understand completely. We *will* work on this now, so that it won't happen again, but please - don't beat yourself up over it. It's not your fault."

"But Luke..." I moaned, "it was. All that anger Kun worked with came from me. I have *never* been that angry before in my whole life!"

"Crys," Luke said firmly, "you've never been *hurt* that badly before in your entire life." His fingers caressed my skin in a comforting gesture while he spoke. "I just wish I knew exactly what happened to you today..." he finished in a sad whisper.

I sighed deeply. So far, no one knew the whole story. Lots of people knew bits and pieces... They each knew their respective role in it, but without knowing the *whole* story, each only knew a portion of what I'd been through today. Gill and Liz knew the majority of what had happened, but I'd been too embarrassed to tell even my best friend the extent of what had happened with the Sith... I closed my eyes and inhaled deeply, searching for strength.

"Crys..." Luke's soft voice came again, his words sending gentle wisps of air over my head. "I know you're embarrassed... but I'm here for you. You've shared so much with me... I know you trust me, and I understand your embarrassment, but Crys, Jedi know no pride. I know, you aren't a Jedi yet, but it's me, Crys. I swear to you that you have nothing to be afraid of."

One by one, his words sank in, and went to my heart. I knew I could trust him - I *did* trust him. That wasn't it... Okay. I could swallow my pride and embarrassment. I *had* to tell *someone*... And if I couldn't tell my best friend, who else could I tell but my lover? He was absolutely right - he knew parts of me that *no one* had *ever* seen before. Sides of me that only I knew existed. There were so many things that I'd never trusted anyone else enough to know, but he knew them. Sharing myself with Luke was so easy because of our bond... I never had *any* doubts about him, or us, because the Force was there with us at all times.

And suddenly, I knew the answer. Yes, I was too embarrassed to *tell* him what had happened, but I could still share it with him. I opened myself to the Force and to Luke, and reached out to him. I felt his mind meet mine as he realized what I was doing, and slowly, he forced himself to lower all of his shields. I did the same, and felt the gentle caress of his mind on mine as we slowly connected with each other totally. It was difficult for him to lower enough shields to let him connect that much to me, but this was a game of trust. It was as difficult for me to share this with him as it was for him to remember how to drop all the walls he'd worked so hard to build in his mind.

Finally, our minds became one, and we both relaxed. He didn't push, but let me gently call up the memories of the day's events. I began at the moment I arrived at the complex, and together we watched as Mace Windu appeared, laughing about Artoo. Next we saw my reaction to Exar Kun in the darkened room as I headed for Ziggy's office. I remembered how I'd brushed his comments off then and wished I'd done that the *next* time I'd run into him...

Then the scene with Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon in the hallway appeared. Using memory enhancement techniques that were strengthened by Luke, the entire scene played out before us from my point of view, complete with dialogue. I felt Luke's amusement at my reaction to Obi's groping, and the Jedi's reaction to hitting the wall in a heap. I also felt Luke hold back his anger when Obi and Qui tried to keep me from going upstairs, without telling me *why* I shouldn't go.

Luke stiffened physically as the dialogue with the clone began, and the vision almost faltered as my emotions wavered. I held on, however, and Luke came back to strengthen the vision. Once again I heard those words spoken by the man that I'd *thought* was my soul mate, and remembered the loss I'd felt at not feeling our bond between us. Luke's arms tightened around me supportively, and the memory continued.

In the stairwell, I'd collapsed. My doubts and anger rose to the surface, affecting us both by their intensity, but as Kun showed up, the intensity of my emotions in the memory magnified exponentially, and I felt Luke's amazement. 

I held on, knowing that if I faltered again, the vision would collapse, and I'd never find the strength to share the next part with Luke. He realized this, and once again offered his support and strength in the Force to bringing the memories I'd wanted to just forget about to the surface once again.

I felt the first tears as they escaped my eyes to trace their way down my cheeks and plopped ungracefully against Luke's chest as the images and emotions in the memory played themselves out. If Luke still loved me when this vision was over, it would be a miracle. I disgusted myself with the eagerness with which I'd returned the Sith Lord's advances, and as the cruel words I'd thrown at Luke replayed themselves, the tears increased their flow.

Luke's hand at my cheek surprised me. A thumb gently wiped away a tear, and said more than words could have at that moment. He loved me. Despite the things he was seeing, he still loved me.

I barely saw the rest, but I know Luke watched as Liz came to my rescue and took me to her bedroom. He listened to our conversation, and when it was over, slowly broke the connection. I concentrated enough to mutually severe the direct link between our minds, then sighed deeply as I leaned into his chest. The whole process had been unbelievably tiring, and now, I wanted nothing more than to curl up into a ball and fall into a deep, dreamless sleep.

"I love you, Crysta," Luke whispered before kissing me lovingly on the forehead. "No matter what, I'll always love you." He gently brushed the remaining tears from my cheeks with his thumbs, and hugged me tightly, then slowly sat up, bringing me up with him. "And now I need to get you out of this tub before you fall asleep on me," he said smiling.

I smiled back, and leaned toward him and kissed him deeply. "Thanks, Luke," I said softly. "I love you too."

"I know," he replied, then reached for the soap and washcloth. He gently soaped my back, massaging the remaining tension from my shoulders, then ran the cleansing cloth over the rest of my body, not missing an inch of skin. It felt good to just let him take care of me, and I *was* exhausted. 

Once my outer body was clean, he washed himself, then reached around me and let the water run out of the basin. Luke helped me up, and reached out a hand, calling a towel to his hands. He gently patted my body dry, then wrapped the towel around me. I held it there and climbed from the tub, watching as he called a second towel to him and dried himself. He hooked the towel around his waist, and then walked towards me. Before I knew it, he'd swept me up in his arms and was carrying me from the bathroom and into the bedroom. I felt another flicker in the Force and looked to see the covers on my bed fold themselves back, and then Luke set me down on the edge. He walked over to the hook on the back of my door and retrieved my nightgown, then came back and slipped it over my head as I held up my arms.

He lifted my legs then to the top of the bed and pulled the covers over me, then walked over to my dresser. I'd given him a drawer a while ago, and he opened it and retrieved a pair of sleep pants and slipped them on, letting the towel drop to the floor. He scooped up both towels and returned them to the bathroom, then flipped out all the lights in the rest of the apartment. 

Luke came back to the bedroom and flipped out that light, then went to the other side of the bed and crawled in beside me. He snuggled up close to me, and wrapped his arms securely around me. 

"I love you, Crys," he whispered to me, his lips hovering just over mine.

"I know," I replied, just before his lips closed over mine. The kiss we shared was gentle, yet deeply passionate, and again our connection flared across our bond. Once again I thanked the Gods that be for bringing us together. Our lips parted after what must have been an eternity, and Luke settled in against me, securely enfolding me in his arms and his love, just before I drifted off into much needed sleep.

==========

Title: Back to Good, part 11
Author: Per’agana (peragana@yahoo.com)

I looked around in confusion as I slowly came awake. The room was unfamiliar...wait...I remembered now. Oh, my, did I remember! Exar Kun making up with me in incredible style, and then sleeping beside me. I smiled as I thought about it, and thrilled to the feel of the silken sheets against my bare skin. 

“I felt you awaken. I trust you slept well?” Exar leaned against the wall, a sardonic smile playing across his face. 

I looked over at him, trying hopelessly not to stare. He was dressed in a rather tight-fitting belted silk robe in his trademark aubergine, his long raven hair falling carelessly over one shoulder. “Well enough,” I replied, grinning shamelessly at him. Come here, Exar, I thought. Let me thank you...properly. 

He walked over to me slowly, *very* slowly. As if he were fully aware of the effect he and that damned robe were having on me. He stopped just short of the bed. “Well, now that you’re rested...” 

He let the implication hang in the air but remained out of reach. I could fix that, I thought! I reached out with the Force and snagged his belt, giving it a quick telekinetic tug. He smiled as his robe fell open, my action obviously expected. He stepped over toward me, and raised the covers to slide into bed next to me. He paused with one knee on the bed as his protocol droid entered the room. 

“Breakfast is served, master.” it said politely, then exited. 

Exar groaned. “Damn droid,” he muttered. “Top of the line in everything but his sense of timing!” 

I fought to conceal an amused grin. Exar was ready for *something* from the look of it, but it clearly wasn’t breakfast. 

He missed the look, thankfully, and strode toward the door. He looked over at me before leaving the room. “Well, we’ll certainly have plenty of time to resume where we left off. And the droid *does* have an excellent culinary module.” 

I smiled as the door shut behind him. Sometimes it was rather interesting to see His Arrogance fail to get his way for once! Not that I wasn’t more than willing for him to have his way with me. Although, I thought... 

A strange, and quite fascinating idea was beginning to occur to me. I went back into Exar’s fabulous bathroom and took a quick shower, giving it a bit more thought. It would piss him off, but it *was* a properly Sith way of doing things. 

I found a set of clothing laid out on the bed for me when I got out of the shower. I almost regretted doing this– a big part of me wanted to spend the day in bed with him. But the ideas working their way through my mind were far too interesting to pass up. Once out of the bedroom, I was easily able to follow the trail of delicious smells wafting through the air to the dining room I’d seen the night before. Exar was right, the food was indeed incredible. I looked longingly in Exar’s direction when we were finished. Leaving was *not* going to be easy. 

He caught the trail of my thoughts. “Leaving? Where are you going?” he asked sharply. 

I gathered my courage. “Well, first I have a couple of Jedi to take care of. I’ve thought of the perfect way to pay Qui-Gon Jinn and Obi-Wan Kenobi back for all the trouble they’ve caused with that damned clone.” 

Exar’s suspicious stare slowly turned into proud amusement as I described my plan. “Excellent,” he said appreciatively. “I definitely approve. Although it really doesn’t matter if that Jedi Master does as you ask or not. The Jedi do not own any trademarks on the name Rent-a-Sith. In fact, they never did.” 

My mouth dropped open. “What??” 

He leaned back in his chair, stretching languidly. “Rent-a-Sith has its advantages, but there was certainly no way I would ever work for a company owned by Jedi. As I’d suspected, the Jedi were a bit...lax...in their proper registration of the company. I had that troublesome Hutt lawyer, Kragga, make sure that all of the names and trademarks of Rent-a-Sith were in my hands from the beginning. Those Jedi fools never even noticed.” 

I grinned. “Well, that makes it easier!” 

He nodded. “I thought as much. In fact, I think I’ll make sure Kragga the Hutt makes sure to spend some time around the Jedi temple. Just in case he is ...needed.” 

I thanked him. This was going *too* well...I didn’t want to spoil it. Although, I thought, Exar has certainly had *his* fun in the past. This is my turn. “After that, I plan to drop in on the opening party for Gill and Mary’s new company.” 

He caught my meaning immediately, and his face darkened. “You plan to spend the evening at No Force Rentals, hmm? Not anywhere near that Falleen, I should hope.” 

“Not immediately,” I said. “Actually, I’m saving him for last.” 

His features took on that cold, cruel cast that I had come to know so well. “And what *else* do you intend to do there?” 

“Jealousy doesn’t suit you, Exar. I’m sorry you have a problem with my going to the NFR gala tonight, but I have two words for you. You. Crysta. Understand?” 

He scowled. “I thought *that* was settled. Are you still going to go on about it?” 

“Oh, it *is* settled. I’m just doing as any good Sith should. What, you expect that I’m just going to hang around all day and soothe your bruised ego? That would be rather Jedi of me, wouldn’t it?” 

He continued to glare. “Perhaps,” he said reluctantly. 

“You had Crysta. And Celeste. And then there’s all your “clients.” Really, I do think it’s my turn! And besides, that Falleen took advantage of me when I was drunk and upset. I need to pay *him* back, as well.” 

That point hit its mark. Exar’s face softened a bit as he thought about it, drumming his fingers impatiently on the lacquered table. “You do have a point. And, provided those Jedi do as told, you will have ample reason to show your power to those assembled.” He shrugged. “I am also certain that, once the Force takes you past the influence of those ...*chemicals*... that he excretes, you will find the Falleen to be a poor substitute for what you already have.” 

I grinned mischievously. “Oh, I’m *quite* sure of that!” 

Exar settled back, the mantle of control once again in place. “Take the keys to my speeder so that you arrive...properly. Let those cretins know that the apprentice of the Dark Lord of the Sith is not to be trifled with.” 

I stood and bowed slightly, my eyes locking with his as I brought my head up. There was a certain pleasure in being able to tease with him like this, but it also brought me infinite comfort to connect with him more seriously, acknowledging the fire of the Dark Side that burned ferociously within us both. My voice was low and menacing as I spoke. “I won’t, my Lord.”

=================

Title: Back to Good, part 12
Author: Per’agana (peragana@yahoo.com)

I took the keys for Kun’s sleek speeder and headed out the door. This was going to be fun. I *very* anxiously awaited being able to pay back a certain manipulative Falleen crime prince... But first, I thought, there were other matters to be settled.

I settled into the speeder and lifted out of Exar’s docking bay, gliding smoothly into the morning traffic. Once I established a fairly secure flight plan, I did what all Coruscant commuters did—pulled out the communicator. I called Mary at home, no doubt anxiously getting ready for NFR’s debut. “Mary, how are you? Liz, from Rent-a-Sith. I have a little favor to ask you...”

She was willing, and my desire was possible, thankfully, but incredibly expensive. Don’t worry, I told her, I have the perfect way to make up for it. With that, I disconnected and called Rent-a-Jedi, asking for one of its top employees. “I’m crossing the east-west median now, I should be docking soon. Be in my office in fifteen minutes, both of you. I’m sure you’ll find what I have to say quite...interesting.” Oh, I thought, I was looking forward to this!

I arrived shortly thereafter, but took my time heading to my office. I wanted them to stew for a bit. About half an hour later, I meandered toward my office, making sure to call R3 along the way and verify that my quarry were indeed present. I opened the door and walked by them, settling in behind the desk. “I’m sorry,” I said without a trace of sincerity, “but you know how traffic is...”

Qui-Gon shifted uncomfortably. “Elizabeth, would you mind telling us what this is about?”

I smiled. “Oh, not at all. I have a little favor I would like you two to do me. I would like you to work the No Force Rentals gala tonight, in case any of the women would like to compare men without the Force with Jedi.”

Qui shrugged. “Well, I’d love to, but I can’t.”

“We planned to stay home with Selah tonight,” Obi-Wan added.

I faked surprise. “Oh, but didn’t she tell you she was going to the gala?” I watched their slightly surprised looks with amusement. According to *their* schedules, they were free. Of course I’d contacted R3 as soon as I got out of the shower this morning and made sure that Selah’s schedule said they were working tonight. After all, they would be. For *me*. I continued. “You don’t really expect that she’s going to restrict herself to you two, do you? Oh, that’s right. I forgot. You made sure she would have another, didn’t you?”

Qui’s face tightened and he quickly stood and turned toward the door. “As I said, we can’t. Now, since there’s nothing else...”

I cut him off. “Oh, there’s plenty more. I’m just getting started! Please, do sit back down. You *will* want to hear me out, of this I am certain.”

Qui glared at me, but sat down anyway. Both their faces registered suspicious caution. Well enough, I thought, don’t want them *too* complacent! “Now then,” I began, “you *will* work the gala tonight.” I waved away their objections. “But that’s really a minor thing, not to worry about it. Why I really called you here was to ask you to go to the Council on my behalf. I’ve noticed that Ziggy’s attention to corporate details has been a bit...lacking, lately. As the Council had appointed you two to watch over her, I hold you responsible. And, considering that your little idea is the proximate cause of her inattention, I feel this bodes quite poorly for the company. As Rent-a-Sith is linked to Rent-a-Jedi, I fear for the financial future of Rent-a-Sith.” I paused, assessing their reactions.

Obi-Wan simply looked furious. Qui-Gon looked a bit fearful, as if he knew he wouldn’t like what was coming next. He was quite right, I thought, he wouldn’t like it at all. Qui broke the silence. “I don’t know what you’re getting at, but I will do whatever it takes to protect Selah. I’m sure you understand that.”

I nodded. “Oh, of course I do. That is, in fact, why I know you’ll agree to go before the Council and request that Rent-a-Sith be separated from Rent-a-Jedi, and that the ownership of Rent-a-Sith be transferred to me.”

Obi-Wan’s mouth flopped open. “WHAT?!?”

Qui-Gon looked at me in disbelief. “Of course we could never do such a thing. The Jedi would never allow a Sith to own any part of this business! Who put you up to this, Elizabeth? Is this yet another transparent ploy of your Master’s?”

I smiled. “Not at all. This one’s all mine. And you *will* do as I ask. Unless, of course, you’d like me to go to the Jedi Council and tell them all about your decision to clone a Jedi knight for Selah’s sexual gratification.”

Obi-Wan snorted. “They would never believe the word of a Sith.” I raised an eyebrow. “No, probably not. I’m sure, however, that their opinion would change once Luke and Crysta testified.”

The faces of both Jedi suddenly turned from furious red to bilious green. “She wouldn’t...,” Obi whispered.

“She certainly would if the Council called her as a witness. And I also suspect that there’s a large enough part of her that would very much enjoy dropping the dime on you two. And then, of course, there’s Luke. Good Jedi that he is, he would never, ever lie to the Council.”

“Why are you doing this, Elizabeth?” Qui said softly.

My rage rose to the surface and broke through my carefully constructed layer of icy calm. “Because you deserve to pay for this. Your thoughtless, careless, immature action hurt a *lot* of people. Your mindless decision to clone Luke was made without the slightest interest in the consequences of that action. Since you are supposedly Luke and Crysta’s friend, I’m appalled at this. Since you two, and especially you, Qui-Gon, are held up as the epitome of what a Jedi should be, I’m disgusted.”

Obi’s frustrated voice broke through my tirade. “But we didn’t intend to hurt anyone! Selah was obviously unable to give up Luke, and we wanted to see her *happy*! Do you really have a problem with someone you *say* is your friend being happy?”

“Happiness has nothing to do with it! If you had even an ounce of a brain, you would have told her, in whatever pleasant little lightsider way you preferred, to get over it and grow up. Instead, you pointlessly fuck up other peoples’ lives just so your lover can be *happy*!”

“I’m sorry about what happened with Luke and Crysta. We should have told her...” Qui’s voice trailed off.

“That’s only the half of it—you don’t even know what I’m talking about, do you? You haven’t even thought this through YET! Let me enumerate for you. Crysta thought the Luke that slept with Ziggy was the real one. Exar Kun found her and took advantage of that.” I noticed the fury wash across their face at the mention of Kun, and I was determined to get them off *that* subject.

“The rest of the Sith have been banging on my office door wondering when *they* get the opportunity to be cloned. Shall we clone Lord Vader, perhaps? And speaking of Vader, did either of you not even *think* about him? That he would know that you cloned his son? After all, if he can’t Turn the real Luke, what’s to stop him from turning the clone? Especially after you altered his personality to suit Ziggy’s whims!”

Bingo. I scored with that last point. Obi-Wan looked completely shocked, and Qui-Gon looked like he was about to throw up. Qui eventually raised his head to look at me, his expression so bleak that I almost felt sorry for him. Almost. “You’re right,” he conceded. “I didn’t think about that. But that doesn’t give you the right to blackmail us.”

“Yeah, actually, it does. Luke and Crysta will never be able to tell you how angry they really are about this, so I’m paying you both back on their behalf and ours. I trust that you will meet my demands?” “You don’t have to do this, Elizabeth. I know you aren’t like your Masters. I know you truly have compassion. After all, we are your friends! Selah is your friend. Would you really want to hurt us, hurt *her*?”

“You should have thought of *that* before you did what you did!” I snapped. “You will go to the No Force Rentals gala, you will petition the Council to grant me ownership of Rent-a-Sith, and you *will* dismantle and sell that clone closet by midnight tomorrow or you will find the Council disbanding Rent-a-Jedi for good.”

Obi-Wan glared at me. “It isn’t like you’re just paying us back on Crysta’s behalf, Liz. Everything you’re asking for benefits *you*.”

I shrugged. “Well, compassion has its place. This works out well for me, and it gains revenge for myself and Crysta. All the better, then. I *am* Sith, after all. Oh, and by the way, I don’t see a need to mention your appearance at the gala tonight to Selah. I’m sure she’ll figure it out when she sees you.”

Qui and Obi stood, anger and derision written all over their tight, pinched faces. “We will do as requested.” Qui said, walking toward the door. He turned back to me just before he left. “And I was wrong about one thing. I thought you were different, that somehow you’d retained a modicum of humanity even as you were being poisoned by the Dark Side. I was wrong. You are *just* like your Master.” He spat the last bit, and slammed the door behind him.

I might have been hurt by that were my anger not shielding me. I looked at the still-shaking door. “I’ll take *that* as a compliment,” I said tightly.

==================

Title:  Back To Good, part 13

Author:  Per'agana

Note: this is the end of my submissions to Back to
Good, and occurs in the early
afternoon before the NFR RR. Just so I don’t go
confusing everyone! (And Ziggy, I hope
I portrayed you okay!)
***************************************************

I headed back to my room after I had my meeting with
Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan. Looks
like I have some *un*packing to do, I thought. I
wouldn’t be leaving Rent-a-Sith after
all...not if the so-called Dynamic Duo did as they
were told. I worried a bit about whether
the council would accept turning the company over to a
Sith, but I knew if anyone could
persuade them, it would be those two. Could sell sand
to a native of Tatooine, I mused.

I unlocked the door to my room and immediately paused.
There was something odd in
the room...a *current* in the Force. I warily stepped
inside and closed the door behind
me. Strong hands immediately grabbed me from behind. I
let out a yelp of surprise, but
my brief sense of fear quickly turned to relief as my
senses processed familiar smells.

I twisted out of his grasp and turned to face him,
grinning broadly. “When did *you* get
in?”

“Not too long ago...you’re getting lax, apprentice!
You should have identified my
presence some time ago. But...,” he paused, looking
around at the jumble of packed
crates, “...I see that you’ve become distracted. Are
you going somewhere?” He said this
last with a knowing half-smile.

I frowned slightly. “So you’ve heard the whole story?”

He tossed his cloak on the bed and turned back to me.
“Well, things do get around. For
one thing, I hear you’ve been causing the Dark Lord of
the Sith no end of grief.”

He looked quite amused, as if this prospect were more
than a little pleasing. Interesting,
I thought, I hadn’t picked up on any rivalry between
he and Kun before. I should have, I
thought, it’s hardly unexpected considering the
circumstances. I shrugged. “Well, he
rather had it coming...”

He walked over to me. “I’m sure. And I think *this*
has been coming for a while, hasn’t
it?”

I looked up at him, startled. The implications of what
he meant were just starting to work
their way through my mind. Exar and I had been
sexually involved before this, but that
was all it had been. Sex. And training, of course. But
nothing compared to my feelings
for Maul. After last night, all that changed. I hadn’t
fully realized, until I’d lay there in the
dark with Exar’s arms around me, how much I’d wanted
it to change. My feelings toward
Exar had slowly, gradually shifted and broadened, and
I hadn’t been aware of it at all.
But clearly Maul had been keenly aware of it.

“I guess it has, but....” I paused, not sure how to
continue. It wasn’t like my feelings for
Maul had somehow lessened because of last night. They
were still there, completely
undiminished. I briefly wondered how Ziggy handled it–
Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan, both in
love with her, *sharing* her... But it was different
with them. Qui and Obi were already
bonded in a way to each other before they bonded with
Selah. Kun and Maul, on the
other hand, weren’t Jedi. Weren’t master and
apprentice. They were Sith Lords. Albeit
one was more powerful than the other in sheer Force
ability, but they were more equal
than not. They did have a bond of sorts, through
mutual desire to see the Sith Empire
restored, but compared to that between Qui and Obi, it
was shaky at best. And it had
been one thing for them to share me when I clearly
loved only one. Now... “Maul, I don’t
know what to say. I mean, I still...I would leave him
if that were what you truly wanted.”

He lay a finger across my lips, silencing me. His hand
brushed my cheek, raising my
face so that my eyes met his. “I know you would, but I
will not ask this. My Master would
say it would be the proper way to raise a Sith, that
your loss and suffering will unleash
your rage. In this, I cannot agree. The Sith have
endured more than enough *loss*,” he
said angrily. “There are other lessons for us to learn
now, of emotions lost to us for so
long we’ve forgotten what they mean.”

I heard a strange sound just then, like bells or
chimed tinkling in two different
frequencies– one light and pleasant, the other
discordant and somehow angry. I looked
around, perplexed, trying to locate the source of the
odd noise.

It faded as quickly as it arose, and Maul appeared not
to have heard it at all. In fact, he
mistook my confusion as being centered on his words.
He shook his head. “You don’t
understand... I’m not surprised, though. You were only
recently reborn as a Sith. A lot of
emotions have been denied the Sith over time,
Elisabieta. Some derided as weakness,
others banished to the realms of the Light Side.” He
paused, and laughed bitterly. “An
irony, that. The emotions that are supposedly “Light”
lead as surely to the Dark Side as
does our rage. Look at the problems that the emotions
of these Jedi have led to!”
           
I nodded, seeing the truth in Maul’s words. Qui-Gon
Jinn had been praised his whole
life as such a stellar example of what good can come
from being in touch with, as he
put it, the Living Force. And yet decades of training
and experience had been swept
away by a Force of a different kind– his love for
Selah made him thoughtless,
insensitive, and, if you took into account the fact
that he did not use the Jedi Master’s
farseeing to see the potential consequence of his
actions, even cruel. I knew from his
stance and his words in our earlier meeting that he
was at the core unrepentant,
unwilling to see the harm he had done. In fact, though
he knew it not, Qui-Gon Jinn’s
decision to clone Luke Skywalker had taken him
perilously close to the Dark Side. I
processed all this rather quickly, and slowly looked
up to meet Maul’s eyes.

A current of energy shot straight through me as I
looked at Maul– it was as if his
defenses were down in a way I’d never before seen. An
intensity of emotion, a
nakedness of, well, *anguish*, seemed to stare out of
his face and into the core of me.
Something was different about him, something I
couldn’t quite identify. And it was gone
in milliseconds, leaving me to wonder if I’d merely
imagined it.

“There is something else I should tell you,” Maul said
quietly, and proceeded to explain
what Ziggy had said and done.

I ran by hands raggedly through my hair, fighting a
mix of reactions– anger at her for
letting this happen, surprise at her willingness to
try to fix things, guilt at how I’d meant
to hurt her by having her two lovers show up at
tonight’s gala just to sleep with
everyone *but* her, sadness that our friendship when I
started with Rent-a-Sith had
deteriorated to this level, and finally, anger again–
this time directed at the two that
engineered this. Ziggy had no more asked for this than
anyone else had, and she was
young. Qui-Gon was neither young nor innocent– the
blame for this was solely his.

I should go to her. I looked over at Maul, my desire
to properly celebrate his return
warring with the need to talk to Ziggy.

He raised an eyebrow, his perfect self-control
completely restored. “Go ahead. I will find
you when the time is right.”

Of course, I thought. I would just go talk to Ziggy,
and then, when I came back... Damn,
I thought. *Not* when I came back. Not if I planned to
go to the NFR gala!

Maul interrupted my thoughts. “Oh, I wouldn’t *think*
of interfering with that. Enjoy
yourself at the gala.”

I looked at him, surprised. Amusement lighted his
feral features. “It does not bother me.
*I* know where you will return. Always.”

I thought for a moment, then slowly grinned at him.
“Unlike another nameless Sith Lord,
right?”

Maul, to his eternal credit, didn’t even bother trying
to feign an innocent look. He simply
smiled, an utterly malicious little gesture. Yes, my
planned assignation with Prince Xizor
made Exar Kun more than a bit jealous. Maul had not
only picked up on that, but was
enjoying it immensely. Well, who was I to spoil his
fun?

I sobered, thinking of the discussion I faced. I just
nodded at him, and walked toward
the door. He stared at me unblinking, and I felt at
though some of his strength was
flowing through me. I’ll need it, I thought as I
walked down the hallway, this is pretty
high on that running list of Conversations I Do Not
Want to Have.

I paused at Ziggy’s office door, then rapped sharply
on the old-fashioned wood. “Yeah,
come in,” came her voice, sounding distracted.

I pushed open the door, walking in without any sign of
the hesitation I felt. She was
buried in a textbook, not even looking up at first. At
least, not until her nascent Force
sense picked up on my presence. She looked up at me,
worry written on her face.

“Maul came to see me. He told me what you said,” I
said quietly.

“I hope it was enough. I mean, if it wasn’t, I’d be
happy to...I wish you didn’t have to
quit. But if it’s for the best...” Her voice trailed
off.

I wasn’t taking any pleasure in her discomfort, nor in
what I knew I had to tell her.
“Ziggy, I...I’m not quitting.”

She looked slightly hopeful. “Really? You’ll stay on?”

I hesitated. “Well...Look, I..um...I had a meeting
with Qui and Obi today. I asked them to
petition the council to grant me ownership of
Rent-a-Sith.”

She was astonished. “WHAT? But you’re a Sith!” Her
eyes went wide as she realized
what she’d blurted out. “Well, not like that’s a bad
thing or anything, it’s just that the
council isn’t going to agree to..Qui and Obi would
never ask that...”

I cut her off. “I *made* them ask. I told them if they
didn’t, I would go to the council and
ask them to call Crysta as a witness and tell them
about the cloning.”

Ziggy mulled that over for a moment, becoming angrier
the longer she thought about it.
“They would fire me in a second if they knew that.
They would shut down Rent-a-
Jedi...and you *knew* that, didn’t you?” she spat.

I nodded uncomfortably. “Yes, I did. I was angry at
them, at you... There’s more, Ziggy.
I asked them to get rid of the clone closet.” She
nodded at that one, obviously realizing
that it was for the best. I continued, determined to
get it all out. Even the worst of it.
“And I asked them to work the NFR gala, and not to
tell you.”

She stared at me in shock, her face a mask of anger
and hurt. “How *could* you? We
were *friends*!”  She drew in a shaky breath and
seemed to crumple in front of me, her
head in her hands. After a long moment, she looked
bleakly up at me. “But I suppose I
deserve it, after all I’ve done. I’m sorry, Liz. I’m
sorry I hurt you. And I’m *so* sorry for
what I did to Crysta.”

“No, Ziggy...*I’m* sorry too. I’m sorry I blamed you
for all this. It’s not like you asked for
him to be cloned, and who could blame you for wanting
it, wanting *him*? It isn’t like my
feelings for Maul helped me not want Exar, after all.
I don’t want to hurt you. This really
isn’t your fault...look, just tell your Jedi that they
don’t have to come tonight. I’m sorry for
all this.”

“No,” she said. “That’s okay. It probably would be
good for them to be there. Good for
business, anyway.”

“Hey, Ziggy, why don’t *you* go? I mean, why not go
and have a good time? Hell with
the men. We’ve both worked really hard– we deserve a
little celebration!”

She looked at me, a sudden quirky smile lighting her
features. “Well, *you* certainly
look like you’re going to enjoy yourself!”

I grinned evilly. “Oh, I am. There are a couple of
people who took
certain...liberties...with me while I was too drunk to
do much about it. Let’s just say I
plan to even the score.”

She raised an eyebrow. The story had obviously gotten
around! “Well, then definitely go
enjoy His Royal Greenness!”

I smiled with anticipation. “I certainly will!” I
headed for the door, and stopped as I
reached for the doorknob, looking back at her. “We’re
okay?” I asked.

She smiled softly. “Yeah, we’re okay.”

*******************fin!**************************

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Per'agana and Crysta