Title: Bittersweets
Sequel or Prequel: prequel
Author: the Katte
Rating: PG-13
Category: angst
Disclaimer: Dear Great God of the Star Wars Universe! Please don't
Sue! I ain't proviting and all the world of sw belong to Lucas.
Summary: A certain familiar guy gets a visit fromhis best friend.

The girl skipped into the room and pounced on the male
laying on the couch. He opened his eyes and grinned. She did this
quite often. This time though, she buried her head on his
shoulder. "I foobarred again."

He sighed and hugged her close while she poured out the tale
of yet another romance gone bad. I was the same story all over again.
Either the guy was an asshole, but great in bed, or he was a dear,
dear person but she just couldn't quite adjust to his needs. He
rolled his eyes when she wasn't looking and shook his head.

Her tear stained face wrung his heart. He stroked her hair
and kissed her lightly. He promised her it would be ok once more and
she turned her lips to his. She always did this to him. He returned
her kiss and her flirting and allowed her the foreplay she needed to
help her heal a bit. In no way did he let her know that each teasing
smile he gave her hid a tearing of his soul.

She smiled brilliantly and held his heart in her hand with a
sweet whisper of her scent lingering in his mind. He allowed her
pawing to continue until neither one of them paid attention to the
fact that they shouldn't be doing these things with someone who was
just a friend. The darkness of his soul screamed in pain as his body
delighted with each thrilling thrust. The explosive climax rocked him
into a paradise tainted with deepest despair.

He grinned and joked as she dressed. She answered each of his
shots with a skillful parry and answering grin. He even rebraided her
hair for her before she traipsed out the door. No,not once today had
he betrayed his innermost darkness.

"I will miss you as always." He said to her as she departed.

She tossed back a flippant smile just before she left. "See
you later Maul, honey."

His master was mocking him again. His master knew about HER.
Somehow He knew that she'd visited again. The anger that rose in him
as he was mocked helped him through the training exercises with ease.

SHE didn't know what he did. Sometimes he hoped she'd never
find out. He'd met her and known her longer than anyone in his
memory. He had no family. She was his life and love, and she knew
nothing of it. It was better this way. Maybe.

He turned on the bath in his apartment and turned the
settings to real water this time. He allowed the heat of it to wash
away the grime and despair haunting him. He stood there simply
allowing it to soak into his every pore for a long, long time it
seemed. His master's voice still mocked him and he welcomed the
feelings of darkness that swirled around him.

In the darkness one could hide one's flaws and find power in
them. He reveled in the darkness and allowed it to encompass every
part of him. The damned Jedi knew nothing of what could be had in the
dark side. This obsessive love, this power, this master who elevated
him from everything, this eternal hell that was bliss, those things
he found so pleasing in the dark side.

He strode to his sleeping chamber and lay down on the black
satin sheets fully nude. He closed his eyes and allowed the
slumberous arms of morpheus to surround him. His dreams claimed him
and he heard the voice of her once more calling out in ecstasy as his
body pleasured hers. He could even add the scream of climax he could
only dream of here.

"MAUL, my love..."

He woke as a hand slithered over his form. He opened his eyes
and realized he'd gone to sleep still absolutely nude on his black
satin sheet covered bed. His eyes focused on his best friend who had
also stripped and was climbing on top of him. Her eyes held him
captivated with their mischief. He knew what she had come for.

Hours later he lay there holding her sleeping form and made
impossible wishes to nonexistent gods. He lightly kissed her forehead
and vowed once more not to ask for anything but what she was able to
give him. Perhaps in time she would turn to him with true love and
not merely lust born out of familiarity and comradeship. She would
never know of his pain each time he saw or heard her speak of another
who had captured her interest.

His master's words mocked him and he knew what his master
would have done. He could do neither that nor set the girl free of
him as a Jedi Idiot would do. He had sometimes fantisied what it
would be like to own this delectable creature so trustingly snuggled
up to him. To be able to use her as he wished and never have her
leave him or look at another, that would be good. It was the other
side of the slavery that made it repugnant to him.

He knew that she would fight enforced slavery with every bit
of her. He also knew that her free spirit, one of the things that he
adored, would wither and die. Nothing would be the same and
everything would be tainted. He knew that, and yet he regreted it.
His obsession with her increased every time she came to him like
this. He knew it would not be long before his darkness and desires
overcame his more tender and fragile feelings for her.

No, it would not be long, thought Maul.

Status: 4/?
Disclaimer: Dear Great God of the Star Wars Universe! Please don't
Sue! I ain't profiting and all the world of SW belong to Lucas.
Summary: A certain familiar guy gets found out.

It was morning and light poured into his eyeballs waking him
completely. He groaned and started to roll over. He suddenly felt
something tangled with him. He looked down at the female limbs
stretched over him. Some days truely start with dreams come true. He
reached for her to wake her in an exceptionally pleasant way.

Later, they shared a shower and wasted more of his real water
allowment. He gripped her hard against him as he poured his very
essense into her and shouted his release. The water poured over them
both and she gripped him as hard as he did her. "Oh, Gods!"

She was a bit quieter than normal when she left and she gave
him an inscrutible expression when she told him goodbye. She'd left
the shower and bath before he had. She had less to clean than he did.
His horns took some extra care. He wondered what has caused her to be
so subdued in the breif time she'd been alone in his rooms.

His master summoned him. He was put through his paces like
some trained dog for one of his master's allies. He lashed out
angrily at his challenges. He tore through his opponents and even
held the beating heart of one of them as it died. What had she seen?

He returned to his rooms and flicked on the light as he
entered the living quarters. She was sitting there on his couch and
she held something in her lap. It was his spare double blade saber.
He looked into her face and saw her troubled expression. His garments
settled around him and look deflated, depressed, and flat.

Her gaze met his and he refused to flinch. She lifted the
saber and held it out to him. He took it silently and turned it on.
He gave her an exhibition of his agility and skill with it. He then
extinguished it and handed it back to her. "So, it is yours then."

He nodded. He stalked to his sleeping chamber and she
followed him. He began removing his clothing and tossing it onto the
pile of dirty clothing in a corner. Her discarded clothing from the
night before was still there from last night. She sat on the bed. He
left her there to solar bath his sweat soaked body. She was still
sitting there in the same position, not having even moved one muscle,
when he returned from the bath.

"You are not a Jedi are you?" She said it more as a stated
fact then as a query.

"No." He stood there bare to the eye and when he spoke he
became bare to his soul. "I love you, you know."

She looked up at him, her eyes troubled. "No, I didn't know,
Maul."

Status: 5/?
Disclaimer: Dear Great God of the Star Wars Universe! Please don't
Sue! I ain't profiting and all the world of SW belong to Lucas.
Summary: A certain familiar guy gets a visit from his best friend,
only he's not there.

She ran from him.

He closed his eyes. How was he supposed to deal with this?
She'd run from him. He had sensed her feelings as she ran. He
frightened her. Hells. All he'd ever wanted to do was love her. Now
she never would.

He turned his head into his pillow and cried.

His master asked him to go to Naboo the next day. He was more
than willing to agree. He wanted away from what his life had become
here. He would hunt down those damn Jedi. THEY had made her afraid of
what he was. He would destroy them all...

____________

She was sitting in his apartment alone for the third day in a
row. Where was he? He had not come home for several days, now. She
was so incredibly worried about him and he didn't even know about her
change of heart.

After walking for hours that night and into the morning, She
had come to the conclusion that the reason she feared him so much was
that she loved him back. She was afraid of being in love. Love hurt,
but she knew he would never hurt her. She was so confused. She'd come
back to talk to him, because she had always turned to him.

He was gone.

She had yet to leave here. She would not leave until he came
back. He HAD to come back. Please, she begged whatever gods were
listening.

It was a week later that the man in a deep black cowl came
there. She was panicked and distraught and without hope. The man
smiled evilly. He enjoyed her pain as he handed her a jar of ashes.
He left her there collapsed in pain and heart wrenching grief.

"NNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!" She screamed again
and again. "Not my Maul!"

His eyes opened into brightest light. He heard a voice
telling him who he was and the drugs pulled him under again. His eyes
closed on a memory. Her eyes looking into his and lovingly laughing.

It hurt. All was pain. "AAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaggggggggghhhhhh!"

Oblivion again.

She was sleeping on the couch in HIS home almost a full year
later. It was dark and a bit musty. No one had ever come to claim it
away from her. She had never had the heart to empty out anything from
where he had left it. She thought with dark humor of the things in
the cooler that must have gone bad by now.

She sighed and turned her face into the pillow to try and
capture one last whiff of his scent. She fell back asleep hugging it
close to her. All was silence and darkness.

The door slid open with a small "wuff". It did not disturb
her. A dark figure in black robes strode in. He saw her and paused.
He knew her. He loved her. She was his first memory in the light.

He sank onto the couch beside her. His hand trembled as it
touched her cheek. His hood fell back and his eyes were a soft flame
as they touched her. He leaned forward and kissed away the tears she
did not even know she'd shed. She sleepily turned her face towards
him. He took her lips in a long sweet kiss that spoke eloquently of
his love.

Her eyes fluttered open and she looked into his gaze. She was
astonished and thought she was still dreaming. Her hand touched his
cheek and he nuzzled against her touch. She started to cry. "Maul...."

He stood before his master. The man called Darth Sidious. He
was forced through many kinds of tortures for failing to believe he
was who he had been told. He endured them all and at the end, he was
finally rewarded. All of his questions were answered. He nodded at
last and left.

Inside the apartment that had belonged to HIM, the original,
and the one whom he wished that had never existed. Perhaps he merely
wished that he, himself, had never existed. He was confused. He
punched the wall. He kicked the couch. It did nothing to alleviate
this anger within him.

She approached the door. Things were quiet. Someone had
called her to ask her to calm him down. The most terrible noises had
emanated from his nearly soundproof apartment. She was frightened by
what might lay within. She steeled her heart against what might lie
within and palmed it open.

The wreckage filled her sight so that she nearly did not see
him. The entire apartment had been laid to ruin. He lay within that
ruin. He lay as if he were a pagan sacrifice to a demanding god
within the devastation of all that had been here. She thought he was
dead at first, his breathing was that shallow.

She stood over top him looking down into his face. She felt
her heart leap up with love and joy as his eyes opened. She knelt
beside him and took his hand within hers. His fingers closed over
hers.

"I'm a clone."

She thought that if his voice had been any further without
emotion he would sound like a droid. She nodded. It was as she'd
suspected. There were many clones out there now with the clone wars
going on. She lay down with him and allowed him to pull her into his
embrace. She stilled as his embrace tightened and became like a vice.

"I want to destroy everything he was and every memory of him
that ever existed."

She swallowed hard. This man was not her friend. He was a
clone and had not lived what her friend had with her. He might kill
her.

His hands on her were calculated and controlled. She felt
cold within. His eyes looked at her with the color of flames, but not
a single thing did he betray within them. She felt his hand stroking
her throat.

"I thought of killing you." He allowed his eyes to roam her
body. "I found I could not do it." His voice had become harsh and he
burrowed in against her. "I am not HE, but I love you with even more
intensity than he ever dreamed of." He leaned back and she met his
eyes. They now burned with an almost insane flame. "I have decided to
make you love ME and recall nothing of HIM!"

He took her then. She had never experienced this intensity
and fire. She found herself burning, dying in the flames, and reborn
from the ashes of what had gone before. His lips seared hers and
consumed her entirely. She panted and screamed. She tossed and
writhed under his expert tutelage.

How could he know so much and yet not have ever had anyone?
She realized at the last as everything seemed to draw into pinpoint
pleasured pain that he HAD had someone. Her. He had had her over and
over again. She was all that he had dreamed of and touched and loved.

He knew more of her than the original had ever taken the time
to know. The original had been too busy keeping his feelings hidden
from her to actually learn more than what she had forced him to hear.
She realized she had mourned her friend, but had not loved him. This
man, this person, claimed her soul.

"I am NOT him!"

She touched his cheek in the aftermath as he panted and
stared down at her with that intense fire gaze. "No, you are not, and
I love you as I never loved Maul..."

END