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Title:  Dark Side's Mistress
 
Author:  Tam Chronin AKA Mary Alexander
 
Rating:  R?
 
Feedback: always welcome...but be warned, flames might burn you since I'm pregnant and in a bad mood.  Never underestimate the powers of the Dark Side.
 
Archive:  Sith Chicks, DVEB, if anyone else wants it please ask.
 
Disclaimer:  I make no money from this or anything else.  Don't waste your time or your lawyer's time.  Heck, I'm lucky to own a computer!  I don't own my favorite Dark Lord or anything else having to do with Star Wars, so leave me alone.
 
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Horribly burned, beaten, cut, damaged.  I still loved him and was furious that his Jedi Master could do this to him.  To top it off his wife was the one paying for it all and I could only stand aside and wait until Palpatine reported in to me.  I was not much for waiting.
 
"Patience, my dear.  Amidala can not hold him forever."
 
"That she holds him at all is too much for me to accept.  You failed me, you were supposed to reach him first."  I turn my cold eyes upon him and even he shivers.  He had better, he should remember who trained him.  "Now I have to wait until *she* is gone to even see him."
 
"Trigue, you can't have your way all the time."
 
I walk over to him and slap him hard enough to make him bleed.  "Don't ever talk to me in that tone again.  Heal that before someone sees you," I add as an afterthought.  No one must know of my existence.  I saw that Palpatine wanted recognition above all else and I used that to my advantage.  He was my pawn and my protection, and he took care of the boring details while I reaped the rewards.  And the rewards were numerous...starting with Palpatine when he was younger, and Maul, and my favorite--Anakin or Vader as I had recently named him.  "Now tell me how he is doing."
 
He glared and I appreciated his strength and fed off of the anger he fed me.  "His will alone keeps him alive.  I have never seen anyone so far gone and still alive."
 
"Just wait a few years," I muttered under my breath, thinking of how he would look in a scant couple of decades.  I wasn't about to give someone as pitiful as him the Sith secret to youth and longevity.  Eventually I would tire of him and want him out of my way.  He was only a stepping stone to Vader after all.  The Chosen One.  I had waited so long for him.  "He will survive, but you need to get him to me as soon as you can without arising any suspicions.  He will need my gentle hand to guide him."
 
"Gentle as an enraged rancor," he muttered and I smiled.  "It will be done, Dark One."
 
I smiled and kissed him thoroughly, for a moment it was almost like old times.  Then I felt my Vader's pain through the mental bond we shared and I had to break off.  "You should go back and assure him that he will see me as soon as he is well."
 
"Threat or promise, Trigue?"
 
"Both."  I gave him a predatory grin.  "You know me too well Sidious."
 
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The mask.  It was a work of art if you asked me.  It was functional and intimidating at the same time.  My own Sith Master would have been proud, if he hadn't died so long ago.
 
"It is good to see you again, Vader.  Even if the circumstances aren't ideal."
 
"Trigue," he whispered, still struggling with the new voice synthesizer.  "You didn't visit me."  It was a childish accusation, full of petulance and pain.
 
I narrowed my eyes and dropped all expression from my face.  "Do you really want my path to cross Amidala's?  After the promise you begged of me?"  The one thing he asked of me as I had seduced him that first time was that I never hurt his wife.
 
"Of course not."  Deep resonance to his words now as he forgot to fight the synthesizer.  I decided I liked this new voice, I could feel it vibrating in my loins.
 
"Good, now that we have that established I believe I was telling you how good it is to me to finally see you."
 
"It is good to see you as well."
 
I let the lie go this time, sitting close to him and putting my arm across his shoulder.  "It has been a long time, and I am not known for my patience.  I hope you know what a sacrifice it was for me to wait this long."
 
"Wait for what?  A lover?  You'll have to wait longer than this."  His bitterness was almost sweet, but it wasn't what I wanted from him right now.  I kept my one arm around him while I caressed him with my other hand.
 
"For you I will wait, but that wasn't what I meant.  I meant for Amidala to be done with you, and now the wait is over."
 
"Pardon me if I'm not as enthusiastic as you are."
 
"It is you and I who are meant for each other.  I love you for who you are, not who I want you to be.  *She* lied to you and herself, she loved you only as long as you were the way she wanted you to be.  I even loved you when you were a hopeless lightsider.  She does not love you now that you have turned."
 
"Because of you."
 
"I only showed the way.  You wanted it just as much as I wanted it for you, otherwise we wouldn't be having this discussion."
 
"Damn your logic."  His voice was becoming raspy again.
 
I smiled sweetly up at him, looking as innocent as I wasn't.  "I still love you and still want you.  I see beyond your physical form and love it all.  Even when you hate yourself."
 
He stood suddenly and pulled away from me.  "How could you do this to me?"
 
"I didn't do this to you.  Obi-Wan did, Yoda did, every Jedi alive did this to you and you turned to me for comfort and to Palpatine for power.  They are still yours for the taking.  Kill them and you will have your revenge, let them live and they will haunt you."  I stood up and walked to face him.  "I will be yours no matter what you decide to do, but I urge you to do what you know you want.  The Jedi take innocent children from their families every year and then brain wash the pour souls to do anything they ask.  You don't have to allow that cruelty any longer, it is in your power to stop it forever."
 
He nodded, and I could tell I had said the right thing.  That was the bond Vader and I shared that Palpatine would never understand.  The children.
 
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I close my eyes and all I see is the children.  Luke and Leia, children of my lover.  The children my lover would never know because of their mother.  Damn the Force, I didn't want to see them!  I wanted to hold them and teach them, to comfort them and hold them in their hour of need.  That is what children deserve, not what I went through, and that is what I wanted to give to them.  They were a part of the man I loved even if I never got to see them.  How could I admit that weakness to my students?
 
"At least the Jedi aren't stealing small children anymore."  They were so disbanded and afraid that they didn't have time to steal the children anymore.  Now there was safety and security, even if the price was freedom.  And I could do anything and have anything I wanted.
 
Except the children.
 
I paced back and forth in the meditation chamber, wanting to gather the Dark Energies, but now wanting to see their faces again.  I couldn't afford this distraction!  And I couldn't figure out what was wrong with me.  Finally I sat down again, willing the power to flow through me.  It rushed at me, like a dam breaking.  I was alive and energized with so much power that I felt I could almost do anything.  I was one with the Force, I was one with the universe...I was the universe!
 
And yet the images came.  The children were happy where they were.  They thrived with the care of their guardians in a way they couldn't with me or their father.  I wasn't ready...after so many centuries I wasn't ready to take them.  The Force had other plans.
 
Luke and Leia weren't the only children.  I saw my first two children who had been stolen from me before the dark stranger offered me his power.  The Jedi had taken my children, my babies, and told me that they would be better off.  They lied, I could feel the children crying and neglected and alone among the Jedi.  And then they were no longer mine...without even a memory of their mother and what she had wanted for them.  The dark stranger...the Sith Lord who taught me.  Yet I couldn't face the Jedi as a whole and my children were still lost.  I had wanted to give them a good life, not one of brainwashing and war and serving others all the time and dealing with discomfort.  Sure, it was slightly better than what I had gone through, but at least no one had told me I had to love my slavery because it was some grand duty!
 
My children, both died too young.  One was a Padawan and his ship was destroyed by a faulty wire in the wrong place.  The other was just a Knight and was killed in a war she tried to end.  Useless.  A waste.  My bloodline ended so casually in service to those horrid Jedi.  And my poor children thought they were doing something right.
 
I felt the sting in my eyes as if from a distance and used all my strength to hold it back.  'A Sith does not cry, a Sith does not cry....'  The thought was futile finally.  A single tear escaped for the first time in nearly a century.
 
Why?
 
The answer was unexpected after all this time.  Vader's seed inside me had reached an egg.  Did I still have those?  I guess so....
 
I would bear his child and raise it as I saw fit.  For a change.  I would *have* my own child for once!  More and more I began to cry.
 
From the far point that was my body I felt hands on my shoulders.  Someone was in my meditation chamber!  In an instant I was back, looking around for the intruder, and I saw Vader.  I was thankful conditions in my chamber matched his with a flick of a switch, so he could meditate without his breath mask.  It was necessary for me to teach him, but it had other benefits as well.
 
He took off the mask and I melted into his blue eyes.  "After all that happened I didn't think I could."
 
"After living so long I didn't think I could either."
 
We held each other close, shocked at what the Force had told each of us.  With a deep kiss he began to remove my clothes with practiced ease.  Also with practiced ease we began the act that had brought us together in the first place.  And no Jedi could steal our son from me this time.
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He was hiding something, I could feel it.  I was used to his jealousy, I used that for my own ends, but now he was using that jealousy to mask whatever it was he was hiding.  Could it be linked?  He was too adept, my older apprentice, and I could not see through his deception.  Rather than admit my weakness to him I satisfied myself with random glares.  It was gratifying to see him squirm and feel his doubt.
 
Whatever it was was still there though.  I could feel it like a viper looming over my shoulder.  He didn't dare betray me...did he?  A thread of fear ran down my spine and I could feel his draw of energy from my errant emotion.  He enjoyed that he could make me fear him even just a little bit, and that angered me enough to set aside that fear.
 
"You have grown cocky, Emperor."  I nearly spat the title at him in contempt.  "Do not forget your place, apprentice, or I will be forced to remind you of it."
 
"You are jumping at shadows, Trigue.  You grow more paranoid every day."  He sounded bored, but his heart beat faster in anticipation of my reaction.  The fear was delicious, I let him get away with it for that.  He suddenly smiled and looked at me closely.  "You haven't been eating enough lately, don't tell me you're pining away for Vader while he is gone.  Are you?"
 
"I orchestrated the situation that made his absence necessary.  Do you think I'm that stupid?  I just haven't been hungry."  Well, I had set the situation up, but I had expected Palpatine to be the one to leave.  It irked me that something had gone wrong and Vader was the only one who could handle it.  It was those damn Jedi again.
 
"I had a large dinner prepared for both of us, but I suppose you wouldn't want to dine with me."  I could feel his jealousy flare up almost blindingly and chuckled.  What would it hurt to cater to his wishes this one time?
 
"I have nothing better to do.  Actually, I think I would like that...it would be like old times again."
 
"How much like old times?"  There was a gleam of suggestion in his eye.  I thought about it, but I had a hard time remembering the attraction I once had for him.  Inside he was my pawn, not my equal.  Outside he was old and withered.  If I tried to imagine him as he used to be in place of who he was now I could only feel sorry for him.
 
"We shall see."  I lied in my smile to him, I could always find excuses after dinner.  I counted the days until Vader's return and wondered now I could wait that long.  Oh yah, Palpatine was the only man available until Vader returned.  That was how I could wait.
 
The food was irresistable, though the conversation lacked.  All my poor apprentice could talk about was the boring details of politics.  There was a reason I had him for a puppet...I wanted power, not procedure.  No wonder he was looking so old after having to deal with all that.  I smiled in all the right places, nodding or shaking my head as seemed appropriate.  I grew so bored though that all I could think of was Vader and the child we were going to have together.  And then I couldn't think of that.
 
I stood suddenly.  "That is what you were hiding!  You traitorous bastard!"  I lunged at him and felt the room spin and land on my chest.  The poison was quick but not deadly, and I shielded my womb from it before I did anything else.
 
"Who was getting cocky, Trigue?  Your time is past and you have made one mistake too many."
 
"Your downfall starts here Sidious."  The room was spinning faster and I held on to the floor for my life.
 
"I wouldn't threaten if I were you.  I might decide to actually kill you if you did.  As it is, you will be stored in carbonite until I choose to free you...and that might be a very long time."
 
"I would have...prevented..." I gasped for air.  "You will...betrayed.  Jedi.  The last Jedi."
 
"Ha!  Vader killed the last Jedi right before I invited you to dinner.  We don't need you anymore!"
 
Darkness was closing in.  "Son of...Skywalker.  Kill you."  Was I talking about Shmi's son or Anakin's?  I couldn't recall.  "Jedi.  Betrayed.  Beware...."  I couldn't say anything else.  I didn't have the strength.
 
"Oh no, I have prevented that now.  I know about the son you carry, and I will not let him replace me.  Your words are empty, Skywalker will have no son."
 
Oh gods, I never told him about Amidala.  He would have killed the children and I couldn't allow that, but now they would...now they...I
 
Darkness closed in.
 
~end~