Ok, everyone. This is not quite a fan fiction, but it's from a self-role play
of one of my characters. I'm still working on the Sid-Ulic smut but I haven't
had much inspiration. This was what occupied me last night, so read on if you
are interested.

Character: Bianca Iago, newly-wedded showgirl from a casino in Mos Eisley,
Tatooine. She is not a force user and there is no mention of other
recognizeable characters within the Star Wars universe-  The only other main
character mentioned, is Benedictus Iago, her husband, who has been away from
her on extended periods of time since their marriage.

http://homepages.go.com/~biancaandriani/index.html   is a little out of date,
but it should give you a better idea as to whom the protagonist is in this
case of "soul-searching".

Location: Bianca's bedchamber in the Iago Mansion, on the planet Corellia
*note* Bianca is from humble means, born on the planet of Chandrila and she is
not comfortable with the opulence of Ben's childhood home, much preferring the
modest apartment that she and Ben shared in Mos Eisley.

Mood: Melancholy and Sentimental

Smut Rating: Mild

__________________________________________________________________________


*It`s been months since her wedding, months away from the world and
the life she has known, smiling and playing gracious daughter-in-law within
Benedictus` parents` home. The fine things scare her, as she is always fearful
that she shall break a porcelain dish or object d`art and the clothes they
make her wear for the sake of respectability seem far too confining and
uncomfortable for her. Her days are filled with entertaining the social set of
Corellia, something she is entirely uncomfortable with, as she does not mind
the affect of being on stage, as she is a performer, although, her audiences
were never of the bluest blood before.*


*Her own family is from Chandrila from a backwater town where no one ever got
out of. But she did. She pulled herself out of the hellish existence that her
many brothers and sisters were still enduring and she worked her way through
the theatrical world, though, not becoming the great actress she dreamed of,
but she took solace in the dancing that she did do. It was her key to freeing
her spirit, opening her soul, so that the part of her that never could be free
would soar to the heavens. She didn`t care that others, especially men, took
delight in seeing her form naked. Her eyes were only for her husband
Benedictus. Ben, sweet Ben! She never knew anyone like him, and it was here,
on the planet on which he grew up, that she found that she needed him by her
side the most. And yet, there was always something that kept him from her, as
the heir to his father`s fortune.*


*The Sith she had stolen some money from no longer sent bounty hunters after
her, or perhaps, her new father-in-law`s money paid them off, as she found
herself leading a very mundane, respectable life. She glanced down at the
opulent gown that the servants had dressed her in for the day. How she yearned
to return to the short leather dresses where she would have freedom of
movement and comfort as opposed to these tortorous tight bodices that shoved
her breasts and small body every which way but that which it was made to go.*


*She moved toward the window seat of the chamber she had been given within the
great house. It was from this very window that she would gaze upon her love in
his fencing attire. But he had been gone for a good many days, on a trip into
one of the cities with his father and she had been left alone, to endure the
hellishness of the servants and their constant fussing over her. She did not
complain, nor give them trouble, as she knew that by complying she was
pleasing Ben, but with each passing day, all she wanted to do was bury her
head into her pillow and cry since it was one more day without him in this
strange world that she did not belong to.*

*Her hand crumpled the expensive material of the dress as she tightened it
into a fist. She didn`t expect to get as emotional as she had, but she had
never been away from her love this long. There was no one she could talk to.
Indeed, Ben`s mother had tried to make her feel at home, but the woman still
made her feel ill at ease at times because of her stony exterior and the mere
fact that she was so much more advanced in years than Bianca herself. With
each passing day she longed to return to Tatooine, to the hot sands of the
desert planet she had run into Ben on after escaping from with the Sith`s
money on Bespin.  There, on Tatooine, was the world that she had created for
herself, a world that Ben opened up for her, that she thrived in, and even if
he were not present, she would be able to get on with her life. Although here,
she felt as if she were a perpetual guest or prisoner, trapped within the
confines of the
grand house, to smile and nod and appear to be the china doll she was not.*

*She lets go of the fabric slowly, as the wrinkles she has created slowly
unfurl on their own. The outside world seems so serene, so complete, unlike
the emptiness that has consumed her. She places her palm against the window
pane and gazes outward through her soft, blue eyes, the light causing the
crystal wedding ring that Ben had given her to glimmer, facet by facet. She
closed her eyes, leaning closer and closer to the glass until her lips lightly
brushed against it, imagining the face of her love there, where the glass
itself remained. The image stayed with her, taking on a life of its own
through her lonely day dream. How she yearned for her lips to be touching his,
to feel his flesh against her body, and rest within his large, protective
arms.*

*Slowly, her eyelids fluttered open, her eyes themselves becoming watery as
she felt her tearducts filling and attempted in vain from releasing the
emotions she felt. The garden beyond the window seemed to become less and less
tangible, the shapes and lines of the bushes and sculptures becoming less and
less distinct and her own throat swelling up with a lump as if she had taken
ill. Pulling away from the cool glass, she held her head in her hands, the
tears slowly cascading down her cheek as she knew the only illness she was
suffering from was an ailment of the heart, untreatable by any drug apart from
the natural high of seeing her beloved.* Ben, *she whispers to herself,
although there is no one whom can hear her within earshot* Ben, I love you so
much.

*Someone had once told her that crying was therapeutic for the soul. Perhaps
they were one of those wandering fortune tellers or psychics, who though they
could read her future from gazing at the lines upon the palm of her hand for a
few credits. However, whatever insight they had claimed to have to look within
her heart, there was nothing to be gained from her release, nothing but more
sorrow as she knew that nothing could come of this by expressing the emotions
she was feeling or by merely holding them within. But, there was to be no more
holding within, as it was as if she were a dam, already pent up with a great
deal and this absence, when she needed him the very most, only broke the wall,
and all of these horrid emotions came raging forth like a deluge. She never
thought marriage would make her feel all the more distant from him.  Although,
she knew that he was hers, that his heart belonged to her as he had pledged
within the ceremony, it was little consolation when her bed remained empty
night after night, when she had slept within his arms, filling her nights
with
hours of earth-shattering passion, when there was no formal bond between them.
Perhaps the old wives` tale had been correct- perhaps there was no more sex
after marriage?*

*Bianca turned away from the window. Saddness seemed to have permeated the
room and she wanted to run away as far as she could, although there would be
no place where she would find the consolation she so desperately needed apart
from being within Ben`s embrace itself. This was an illness that could not be
severed from her, as it consumed all of her being. Ben was not due to return
for a good many days and it tore at her very being, to remain within the house
alone. Quickly moving toward the doorway of the bedchamber, she undid thelocks
and entered the proper code so that she could escape from her gilded cage for
but a moment. Wine would numb the pain for now, she had decided as she
scurried down the hallway, heading for the kitchens, knowing that in a house
of this magnitude, there would have to be something that could give her
temporary comfort.*

*To lose one`s self within the bottom of a bottle was not what she wished.
Although, it was far too painful to go on living as she had. This would be her
solace, her way of freeing herself from the pain of the heartache that would
not dissipate. She would have enough to feel the freedom she once thought she
could only get with his touch. For now, this would be her substitute, her
means of not wasting away on this planet until her love returned.*


((~Finis~))