Second Thoughts

Author: Lanna C email: dewlannaa@hotmail.com
Archive: ok
Disclaimer: All characters except Tsalia Kai and Kraana 
are borrowed and will be returned unharmed.
Rating: PG
Summary: Sequel to Sparks, Rival, Darkness series, etc.
Qui-Gon is injured on a mission.
Feedback: Please!

Notes: ( and ) denote telepathic communication 

******************************************************

Qui-Gon Jinn and his apprentice, Obi-Wan Kenobi, stood
just behind the pilot and co-pilot of the Republic cruiser,
Illuminator IV, as they entered the atmosphere of the planet,
Cerula.

Cerula was a beautiful blue sphere on the outer rim of the
Republic. Centuries of isolation and internal struggle had
kept the planet and it's inhabitants from progressing the way
their neighbors had. As a good faith initiative, along with the
requested jedi negotiators, the senate had dispatched
a team of engineers to help with rebuilding and modernization.

The jedi master's internal alarms went off as the ship neared
it's preauthorized landing coordinates. He glanced at his padawn,
who continued to stare ahead, obviously unaware of the trouble
awaiting them.

"Captain," Qui-Gon began, "Find a clearing west of the landing
coordinates to set the ship down in."

"Yes sir," came the reply.

Obi-Wan looked questioningly at Qui-Gon. (Master?) He sent
along their link.

(I sense an unusual amount of hostility and anger around our
landing coordinates. I believe someone intended to end our
negotiations before they began.)

***********************************************************

The lead engineer met the jedi and the captain at the exit
ramp moments after the ship touched down. 

"I'm going to make my way to the capital on foot, to try to
ascertain who is now in control of the planet. See to it that
no one leaves the ship until you hear from me and make 
sure the hatch is sealed after me." Qui-Gon said, receiving
nods from the two older men.

The jedi master took off down the ramp, Obi-Wan at his 
side. Halfway down, Qui-Gon stopped. Placing his hand
on the younger man's shoulder he said, "You must stay on 
the ship as well, Padawan. I have a bad feeling about this."

"Then I should be with you!" Obi-Wan protested.

"My instincts tell me you should remain here. If the capital
has been overtaken by hostile forces, as I suspect it has, they
will be looking for two jedi. A lone man would have a much
greater chance of slipping in unnoticed."

Obi-Wan nodded reluctantly as his master took off down the
ramp and across the open field leading to a thick blue forest.

*************************************************************

The hatch had barely closed behind him when the muffled
sound of an explosion reached his ears.

Without a thought he hit the release button that opened the 
hatch and extended the ramp. He was halfway across the field
by the time the ramp had extended fully and only vaguely heard
someone at the ship yelling at him to come back.

He tore recklessly through the field and into the forest, following
the intense pain he felt radiating from his master. (Hold on! I'm
coming!) He sent to his mentor.

Qui-Gon Jinn lay in an unconscious heap of blood and dirt, a
fresh crater from a hidden explosive device at his side. A cry
escaped Obi-wan at the sight of the wounded man. He could
feel the life force draining out of his beloved master and at the
same time,sense the anger of an approaching mob.

With no options open to him, the young jedi hoisted the tall
man over his shoulder and ran back to the ship as quickly
as he could. He did not let himself think of the extra damage
he might be causing Qui-Gon this way. His only hope of
saving him was to get him on the ship and back to Coruscant
as quickly as possible.

The co-pilot ran down the ramp to meet him, together they
carried the wounded jedi inside.

"Tell the captain to lift off at once. Then contact the Temple and
have them standing by with an emergency med team on platform
E-1!" Obi-Wan barked, out of breath.

"Right!" Answered the co-pilot as he hurried to the cockpit.

**************************************************************** 

With the help of some of the engineers, Obi-wan was able to
get Qui-Gon into the bunk in his cabin. Once there, he asked
that he not be disturbed until they reached Coruscant. It would 
take all his concentration and energy to keep his master alive
long enough so the healers might have a chance of saving him.

Sitting on the bunk beside Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan took one of the
injured man's hands into his own and focused on the strong
life force inside himself. Using the Force, he began sending life
energy into the dying man.

Qui-Gon's hand jerked out of Obi-Wan's, startling the young
man. "I .....can't .......let .........you," the jedi master cried in a
weak, barely audible voice, "too .......dan .........gerous."

"You can not stop me, Master." Obi-Wan stated, tears rolling
down his face as he took Qui-Gon's hand in his own again.
"I'm not letting you go!" 

"Tell ..............Lia .................I ............love .........................her."

"You'll have to tell her that yourself," Obi-Wan said to the again
unconscious form at his side.

*******************************************************

Tsalia Kai was just finishing the set up of a new display of
jedi artifacts in the museum section of the temple library when
her comlink went off.

"Lia," it was Kraana, one of her assistants, "get to a terminal,
you have an incoming message from Master Yoda."

"Thank you." Crossing to a unit set in a wall, Lia punched in
her code and the screen came to life.

The wisened face of the Jedi Master Yoda appeared on the
screen, the lowered position of his ear points sickened her
stomach and her hands began to shake uncontrollably.

"What has happened?" She asked in a shaky voice.

The master sighed as he replied, "Injured, Qui-Gon has been.
With the healers is he now. Come at once, you should."

Lia bolted from the library, throught the temple corridors and
into the lift that would take her to the hospital wing of the temple.

She was near panic when she stepped from the lift into the
crowded waiting area. The place was filled with concerned
jedi and the group of engineers that had been on board 
Illuminator IV. A hush fell over the group as Lia emerged, 
obviously shaken.

"Come," someone said, gently taking her arm, "I'll take you back."
It was Mace Windu, a man whom she had always thought cold
and harsh. She let herself be led through the now quiet crowd,
into the patient area. Lia's heart pounded violently in her chest
as he directed her to a small cubicle.

A stifled cry escaped her lips as she ran to the still form, floating
naked over a repulsor field. Her hand trembled as she tenderly 
touched the bruised face of the man she loved. Silent tears fell
unhindered down her face as she kissed his soft, nearly lifeless
lips. Lia took one of his large hands between hers and began
to sob quietly as she took in the amount of damage his body
had sustained.

"We have him in a healing trance now," an unfamiliar voice
called from behind her. She looked away from Qui-Gon to the
man, obviously a healer, who had spoke. He was a tall, blue
skinned man with enormous watery eyes. "As I was just saying
to Master Yoda here, we need to get him into the bacta tank
right away if he is to have any hope of recovery."

Lia hadn't noticed Master Yoda when she entered the room.
He stood now beside Master Windu and two healers who 
supported what Lia recognized as a human shaped bacta
unit. Turning her attention quickly back to QuiGon, Lia 
whispered softly into his ear, "Hurry back to me, my love."

She backed away as the blue healer attached a breather over
Qui-Gon's mouth and nose. The bacta tank was then fitted
around his floating body. Tubes suspended from the ceiling
were connected to the unit, which began filling with the life
saving fluid.

Lia watched helplessly as the bacta level rose in the tank,
covering Qui-Gon's prone form. Her tears continued to flow,
her mind was numb, everything had happened so fast. How 
had Qui-Gon been injured? Lia looked around. Where was
Obi-wan? The presence of a hand on her shoulder brought
her out of her thoughts.

"We must leave now." It was Mace Windu guiding her again.
This time out of the cubicle. "They will not allow us to stay
during the treatment. Our presence could impede their focus
of their healing powers."

Once again Lia allowed herself to be led through the quiet
corridors of the patient area by the dark master. Master Yoda
strode beside them silently. Lia's brain began to function again
and she pulled away from the two jedi masters. "What happened
to Qui-Gon and where's Obi-Wan?" She demanded.

"We don't have any details yet on what caused Qui-Gon's injuries.
The healers are fairly certain they were the result of some kind of 
explosive device." Windu replied.

"And Obi-wan?"

"Barely conscious he was, when returned they did. Take you to
him we will." The small master added.

As the three of them started down the hall again, Master Windu
spoke, "It seems Obi-Wan used his own life energy to keep
Qui-Gon alive on the trip back. The healers have restored his
depleated fluid level. What he needs now is rest."

They came to a halt at the entrance of Obi-Wan's cubicle. 

"Home, you may take him," Master began, "Contact you
there will I, when of Qui-Gon there is news."

Lia nodded as the two council members walked away.
Taking a deep breath to compose herself, she entered
Obi-Wan's room. He lay on a bed, a deep sadness radiated
from him. His face was ghostly pale making the darkened
patches beneath his eyes all the more noticable. Her 
emotions threatened to betray her as she assessed her
friend's state.

"Ready to go home?" She asked in as light a voice as possible.

"Lia!" The young man exclaimed, his eyes watering.

She hugged him tightly as his sorrow of the past four days
poured out. Lia could not hold her tears back any longer
either and the two friends wept in each others' arms.

*************************************************

A short time later, Lia helped an exhausted Obi-Wan
home to the quarters he shared with his master. The
young man went immediately to his bed where Lia
sat with him until he began to drift off.

As she sat on the bed watching her friend sleep she
was reminded of the insecure little boy she had grown 
up with. They had always been the best of friends. They
were even each others' first sexual encounter. Lia
couldn't help but smile at the thought of all the "practice
sessions" they used to have before she moved away.
They shared everything then and life was easy.

Today they shared a love for the same man. Not the
same kind of love but each overpowering in it's own
way. To Obi-Wan, Qui-Gon was the father he had 
yearned for as a boy, their bond even stronger since
Lia's attack on Kashyyyk. For Lia, he was the perfect
mate. His blue eyes could melt her heart, his silky voice
made her weak in the knees and his touch set her skin
on fire. His body was an instrument of pleasure that
took her to places she had never been before. He was
more than just her lover, he was her soul mate, a part
of her. He was passionate, understanding, intelligent,
lusty, brave, stubborn, kind and even funny sometimes.
Qui-Gon was the sun around which she and Obi-Wan
revolved. Without him they would surely die.

Lia stood, leaving Obi-Wan to his dreams. She went into
Qui-Gon's room, climbing into his big bed. His room was
filled with different kinds of plantlife from around the galaxy.
His connection to the living force was so strong he liked
to surround himself with living things. Slipping off 
her shoes, she curled into a little ball and pulled the
covers over her. This was the first time she had been
in his bed. All of their nights together were spent in her
quarters so as not to disturb Obi-Wan. The pillow still
carried his scent and she hugged it to her body. Outside
the night sky began to pinken as dawn approached.

****************************************************

The first thing Lia did when she woke was check for a
message from Master Yoda. None had come in. When
she looked in on Obi-Wan she found him awake and
staring at the ceiling.

"I should have gone with him," he said as she entered
the room.

"What?"

"When he left the ship, I should have gone with him.
I should have been with him when he was hurt! Why
didn't I go?"

Lia did not know what to say, she had assumed he had
been with Qui-Gon when he was injured. "Tell me what
happened, Obi-Wan."

She listened as Obi-Wan told her the events that took
place on Cerula. He covered everything from their changed
landing sight to their arrival back on Coruscant. When he
had finished she said, "There wasn't anything you could 
have done, Obi-Wan. Qui-Gon told you to stay on the ship. 
If you had gone with him, the two of you would probably be
dead right now! Don't you see that he is alive now because
you weren't with him?"

The chiming of the comm unit in the other room kept Obi-Wan
from responding. They dashed to the next room, staring at
the view screen expectantly. In seconds the green face of 
Master Yoda appeared. His sparkling eyes and perky ears
told them what they wanted to hear faster than his words ever
could, "Out of the bacta, Qui-Gon is. In a healing trance will
he remain a couple days. Visit now, you may."

The transmission ended abruptly and the two friends shared
a tearful hug before hurrying to see Qui-Gon.

***************************************************

As they exited the lift into the waiting area of the hospital,
Obi-Wan was stopped by a man Lia did not recognize.
Lia waited for Obi-Wan near the door to the patient 
section. As she stood she heard part of a conversation
taking place on the other side of the entrance.

"...one of the greatest jedi knights, too bad he lost his
focus." One voice said.

"Yes, I heard he's not been the same since he took up
with that woman," said another.

Lia was still listening intently when Obi-Wan barged past
her, through the door. "Gossip is an instrument of the
dark side and has no place in the temple!" He said harshly.

Returning to Lia, Obi-Wan took her hand, escorting her 
down a corridor past two red faced knights.

"Don't let talk like that get to you, Lia," he said as they
walked along. "They don't know what they're talking
about. That man who stopped me back at the lift was
one of the engineers from the Illuminator, he wanted me 
to thank Qui-Gon for saving their lives."

Lia nodded, smiling at Obi-Wan, but privately she had
worried for some time that being in a relationship might
somehow reduce Qui-Gon's effectiveness as a jedi.
The thought that his focus could falter, even for a split
second, during a crisis terrified her. If, for a fleeting moment,
he thought of her when he needed his strong connection
to the living force negotiations could crumble, battles could
turn, lives could be lost, even his own life could be lost. That
thought scared her most of all, that she could be the 
instrument of his death.

*************************************************

Upon entering Qui-Gon's hospital room, Lia and Obi-Wan
were greeted by Master Yoda, who excused himself, giving
the two of them time alone with the injured jedi master.
Lia went to one side of Qui-Gon's bed, kissing his warm
lips. Obi-Wan took the other side, grasping his master's
large hand.

"Don't you ever do this to us again," Lia scolded the
unconscious form. Tears began to roll down her face
as she took Qui-Gon's other hand, hugging it to her
cheek.

**************************************************

Obi-Wan and Lia spent the next two days at Qui-Gon's
side. The tall jedi grew stronger each day. The healers'
had decided he would be brought out of his healing trance
the next morning. Lia had arranged for the plants from
his quarters to be brought in, so when he was awakened
he would be surrounded by life. She had also made
arrangements to have holodisks delivered to him, Obi-Wan
and Master Yoda following his release from the trance. Each 
disk contained a message explaining her absence, for 
when they would be delivered Lia would be on a transport
far away from Coruscant.

It was the hardest decision she had ever made. She had 
spent sleepless nights in a chair at Qui-Gon's side trying
to decide what would be best for everyone concerned. The
possibility that Qui-Gon might not return from a mission was
something she had always accepted. It made her relish
every minute she spent with him. Now the thought that 
sometime he might not come back because she had been
in his thoughts at the wrong time or place ate away at her
consciousness. She could not let this happen because of
her. He was not hers alone to mourn, he belonged to 
everyone, the galaxy as a whole. Mostly she thought of
Obi-Wan and how he had suffered these past few days.
Leaving Qui-Gon would be the most painful thing she would
ever have to do, but she could not live with herself if Obi-Wan
lost his master because of her.

As Obi-wan snored softly from his chair, Lia held Qui-Gon's
hand, stroking his long fingers. This would be the last time
she would ever see him, her transport was scheduled to
leave in two hours. She began to sob quietly as she looked
down at the face of the only man she had ever loved. Tears
slid down her cheeks as she remembered the thrill she got
the first time he spoke to her. He was everything she had ever
wanted in a lover and more. She tenderly ran a thumb across
his soft lips as she bent to whisper in his ear. "I will always love
you," she cried, then still in tears she silently slipped from the 
room.

******************************************************

Qui-Gon opened his eyes slowly, the light in the room was
harsh and it took a moment for him to focus. There was Obi-Wan
at his side. Mace and Master Yoda were there too, as well as
a team of healers.

"Where's Lia?"


END