From: tamchronin@hotmail.com

Rated: PG-13 so far I think.
Disclaimer: Tam is mine (she'd better be!), but nothing else is no matter
how much I want it.
Archive: I would be really flattered...once it's gotten a little bit
farther I'd be thrilled.
Dedication: To all the writers of all the stories on Sith Chicks that have
inspired me, they're great!!!!!
******************************************************


I See Your Secret Smile
By Tam Chronin


It's been a bad day. I had a million things to do at the Jedi Temple,
errands to run and papers that needed to be put from one stack into another.
There weren't as many computer files to forward to the right department,
but I would rather have done that. I think Master Yoda has me work in the
filing office to teach me patience, something I'm lacking in. A lot. I
don't know how long this can go on, I'd rather be running or lifting rocks
with the Force or sparring with lightsabers. Instead I get poorly
translated requests for help, requisitions for lightsaber parts accidentally
sent to the clothing department and thousands of paper documents to sort
when I had thought we were supposed to use the computers more. That's why
we upgraded our systems instead of looking at new designs for Jedi robes
this century. Right?
I sighed in frustration, tired of looking at so many little letters crammed
together on a piece of paper. The relaxation techniques weren't helping my
eyestrain much. I wanted another trip to the Senate chambers or something.
It would make more sense to me than all the mistakes that passed through the
desk I had been forced to sit at.
"Shorthanded they are, need your help, they do. Help I would, but
important matters have I to deal with in the Council." Yoda's voice made me
jump. I whirled around and saw him right behind me, smiling at my surprise.
"Teach you, that will. Be mindful of the Force at all times you must.
Only then a Jedi can you be."
"Yes Master Yoda."
"Rest, my young Padawan. A long day you have before you, and eyestrain
must not get in your way. Go, have fun, much you have had to put up with
that you should not. Teach you it will, but only if you are of the right
frame of mind."
"Thank you, Master Yoda, I will do as you say." I smiled and hurried off
to my room.
The best thing about being Master Yoda's Padawan is that I had my room to
myself. It would be unseemly for him to be sharing a suite with me, since
I'm a girl, but he wanted to take my training in hand personally. Who is
going to argue with Master Yoda about something like that? Not me, not when
I get privacy.
I took a long shower before going to eat. When I got there I looked around
and was pleased to see one of the cutest Padawans sitting near my usual
seat. I looked away to get my food, but noticed that as I did so his eyes
turned to me. Was that a smile on his face before I completely turned? I
tried not to show how my knees melted, but I had to concentrate on walking
more than usual to do it.
When I got to my seat he scooted closer to me. "Hi, Obi-Wan." I tried to
look him in the face, but I knew if I kept it up long enough I'd be
blushing. I looked at the food in front of me, knowing how hard it would be
to eat with my stomach tied up in knots.
"Hi Tam." He said with confidence. "I haven't seen you in the usual
places lately. Is Yoda's personal Padawan too good for everyone else now?"
"Tease. You're horrible at that you know." He was just a year older than
me, and I had had a crush on him for years. He knew it and put me on the
spot constantly because of it, but we still got along most of the time.
"I've been too busy for everyone else, and you're not the first one to say
something about it. I'd give my right eye for a good old-fashioned
lightsaber duel instead of all this paperwork."
"Hey, I had to do it last month, I know where you're coming from. Master
Yoda must be playing favorites again, you're almost the last on the list
until the cycle starts again."
I sighed. "Maybe they'll hire someone before then."
"Maybe Master Yoda will grow a foot taller and have hair again." Obi-Wan
said laughing.
I couldn't help myself; he was my Master. "I didn't think you knew about
those new boots and the toupee."
Obi-Wan's eyes grew large and he nearly choked. I smiled smugly and turned
back to my food, managing a few bites before his laughter grew too
contagious. I could feel my head clearing from the long day finally;
smiling seemed to be helping.
"Did Master Yoda give you any assignments tonight to make sure you stayed
in practice?"
"No," I said, not being able to help the smug tone in my voice. "He said
that the exercise in patience would be enough this first week. He even told
me tonight that I should take time to relax, and I plan on it."
"Does that mean you won't spend some time with me," he asked teasingly,
with a dreamy look in his eye.
"What would Master Jinn say?" I replied, trying to call his bluff.
"He'd tell me to take tonight off, just like he said after saber practice.
I wouldn't have asked you otherwise." His voice was so serious, his eyes
actually held a hint of vulnerability. My heartbeat leaped up a pace or two
and I couldn't find my voice.
Are you asking what I think you're asking? I almost didn't dare hope, this
was something I had dreamed about for far longer than even he knew.
Instead of answering, he took my hand and caressed it with his lips. "I
see your secret smile when I look at you across the room. I feel the
nervous flutter your heart does in those unguarded moments when you look at
me. I know your secret wish to know me on more intimate terms. It may have
started when we were both children, and I teased you for that, but we aren't
children anymore."
My secret smile.I hadn't realized. I thought about the times our eyes just
missed each other across a crowded room, when I felt his eyes upon my
skin.and his smile. "I see your secret smile too, Obi-Wan. I just didn't
want my hopes dashed if I was wrong. You feel the same way though, don't
you?"
"I have for longer than you know."
I smiled, flushed with pleasure. I tried to pick at my supper, but there
was no way I could finish it now, I was too nervous.
We walked to my room, talking softly together about the same things we used
to talk about, but I couldn't concentrate on the thread of the conversation.
The door closed behind us and all attempts to indulge in small talk were
left outside. He stepped closer to me, his body heat warming my skin
through our robes. I sighed softly as he moved his face closer to mine. My
eyes slipped closed as I felt his lips touch mine, softly at first, then
more insistently. So this is what it's like to be kissed.I thought
dreamily.
He pulled back. "Such an innocent, Tam? I didn't know."
"I've been waiting for you to notice me while I was so busy not noticing
you."
He smiled, then leaned forward again. "I'll have to make it that much more
special for you then."

A second later I was cursing softly at the insistent chirp of the communit.
It was my father. He was a Jedi Master; though we weren't close we still
kept in touch. "I just wanted to let you know that your mother arrived
safely from Malastaire, and we wanted to invite you for a late birthday
dinner for her tonight. I spoke with Yoda and he said you were free
tonight."
"Sure," I said, as cheerfully as I could. My parents were both Jedi, as
well as my big brother and sister. We only acted like a family once a year,
if that, so I didn't feel like I could really refuse. "I'll be there soon."
"Good, we'll leave as soon as everyone gets here."
I wanted to scream. I wanted to cry. I wanted to kill Master Yoda for
telling my father I was free. Obi-Wan kissed me on the forehead and said he
was sorry before he left. It took every relaxation technique I had been
taught to calm down before I could leave. I wasn't happy.


--tbc--


*******************************************I didn't get a chance to talk to
Obi-Wan again for a few weeks. I got evenings free because of the
eyestrain, but Qui-Gon was harder on Obi-Wan. We'd pass each other, smile,
and say a quick greeting, but we always had something else to do. I even
started eating my dinner in my room because of the headaches I got, and I
didn't feel right using the Force to heal myself when a night's sleep cured
them.
I finished my allotted time in paperwork hell, happy to get back to some
real training. I may be the only Padawan who had to carry their Master on
their back, but it was a lot better than the back aches from sitting in an
office chair all day. One would think they'd update the chairs along with
the computers.but noooo. No wonder they had a hard time getting a real
replacement. I sighed, putting it behind me and out of my mind.
Master Yoda had stopped teaching me lightsaber skills when I was twice his
height and needed someone else to take over. I took turns with the other
Padawans, sparring and learning new techniques with their Masters. At a
young age I was the most versatile Padawan in training, and quickly after
that I was indisputably the best. Master Yoda had singled me out for a
reason--as some people put it, I was so powerful in the Force it was scary.
I was as powerful as Master Yoda himself, but with a much younger and
healthier body. If I had fallen to the Dark Side at any point The Jedi
would be hard pressed to stop me, but there wasn't a chance of that
happening. Master Yoda had trained me too well.
I was almost giddy looking forward to my first day back in real training.
I was a bit nervous that I would be out of practice, but I was happy that it
would be with the two most attractive Jedi that ever existed: Obi-Wan and
Qui-Gon. I'd at least have a chance to talk to Obi-Wan again. I was
floating by the time I walked in there.
The first thing I noticed was Obi-Wan's slightly worried expression. Why
so glum? Afraid I'll kick your butt as usual?
Where have you been the last few weeks? I was worried about..
Constant incessant headaches have been my only evening companions, and not
by choice. Don't worry about that, worry about your lightsaber skills
As rusty as you're bound to be? Don't make me laugh.
Qui-Gon cleared his throat, loudly. "This is lightsaber practice, not
Conversational Telepathy 101. If you feel you need to brush up on those
basic skills."
"No, Master Jinn. I'm sorry, I just haven't been up to socializing lately
and we had a few things to catch up on. I won't take up any more of your
time." I bowed my head, unused to reprimands from any of the Masters.
"Relax, Tam. I just thought you were eager to get started.right?"
"Yes, Master Jinn." I said with a lot more enthusiasm.
Also, it's rude to hold exclusive conversations in front of someone when
they are trying to teach.
I blushed, looking at my shoes and then back up again.
The lesson went as usual, mostly repetition, but I didn't mind for once.
It helped me get back into the swing of things. I felt confident again by
the time I was paired with Obi-Wan to spar. We started with some basics to
get me back in the rhythm of the duel. Nothing new, no surprises, it was
the same old dance we always started with. As we got into the more advanced
training techniques he almost got me with an unexpected feint. I did a back
flip and landed a short distance back, but there was no respite.
Mind wandering or just out of the loop?
One surprise does not win the match. I retorted.
I pressed forward, taking the offensive with a sudden flurry of attacks.
It was time to improvise, mixing patterns and coming up with new
distractions. At one point a while later I was twisting away to come in
from another angle when he tried another tactic.
Your boot is unbuckled, he sent, and I felt a tug through the Force.
Oh no it's not, I retorted, reaching out to make sure nothing was getting
unbuckled without my permission. He almost caught me with that one, and he
did ruin my attack. We were both glowing from the exercise, and I started
to worry. He had never held his own against me for this long. I hadn't
gotten that rusty in so short a time, but he had gotten better. An hour
later confirmed it. I couldn't gain the advantage for more than a second at
a time, and I was pressed back on my heels most of the time. Not good, not
good at all for me, I was about to get beaten. Ten more minutes and it was
official. My lightsaber was across the room and he was between it and me.
No chance to call it to my hand, it was on the other side of him and his
saber was pointed at my heart.
"That was great! I've never had such a rewarding fight, even though I was
beaten. How did you.?"
"Extra practice to relieve tension," he replied, panting as much as I was
as he extinguished his lightsaber.
Qui-Gon came over to us with a giant smile. "I have never seen anything
like that between Padawans, you both were outstanding. And you were worried
that you were out of practice, Tam, but that's the best I've seen you do."
"Thank you, Master Jinn. I know it couldn't be that I'm out of practice,
Obi-Wan has just improved that much. I wonder if I'll ever catch up again."
"Of course you will, Tam. We can put in that extra practice time together
and I could help you with my new techniques." Obi-Wan's glance showed that
there was more than one way to take that, and I should take the less obvious
meaning.
I almost blushed, but said calmly, "I think I'd like that, if I can get
Master Yoda to agree."
Qui-Gon smiled. "I'm sure that can be arranged, but not tonight. Take the
rest of the evening for yourselves, you deserve that much. Have fun and
relax, that way you'll be ready for more practice tomorrow." I thought I
saw Qui-Gon give Obi-Wan a knowing glance, but it was as I was walking past
to retrieve my lightsaber, so I wasn't sure.
I say we begin with a shower, he sent to me as we walked down the hall to
the nearest turbolift.
Together? I asked, not quite playing innocent.
"It would save on time, not to mention being a lot more fun."
"I don't know, I'm actually a little sore from being humiliated by you. I
just put on the good loser act for your Master." I was half joking, but
part of me really was sore about it.
"I'll have to just massage that right out of you then." He deliberately
took it the wrong way, his teasing smile coming out full force.
"I think I'll hold you to that," I said with more confidence than I really
had.
"You won't have to," he murmured softly in my ear as we entered the
turbolift alone. With a feather touch he caressed my ear with his lips. I
took in a sharp breath from the pleasure of it, and I could feel him smile.
Gently, he tugged on my ear with his teeth, then began nibbling playfully
while pleasure ran up and down my spine. I shivered against him, leaning
slightly for support while my knees tried to tell me they weren't going to
support me while that was going on. I couldn't blame them, it was a bit
hard to concentrate on standing with him in the same room, let alone with
his body pressed up to mine.
Too soon, or not soon enough, the turbolift doors opened on my level.
Somehow I managed to walk to my room and open the door, but I couldn't
remember the trip. I was just suddenly in my room and faced with my
lifelong dream about to be fulfilled. Again.
Quickly I walked to the communit and shut it off with on almost violent
motion. Obi-Wan chuckled and brought me over to him with a tug from the
Force. His lips met mine in a passionate kiss and parts of me I didn't know
could, melted. I felt his mouth open against mine, and his tongue
tentatively search for mine. I met with it experimentally, touching,
caressing, and soon it was a dance as beautiful as out duel had been. His
hands began exploring my body through my clothes and I eagerly followed his
example. One of us moaned, but I was so wrapped up in the moment I couldn't
tell who it was. It didn't matter, soon I was distracted again. His hands
grasped my robes and they were soon a pile on the floor. We broke off the
kiss and looked each other in the eye. At the same time we projected to the
other the same thought. Time for that shower. I think we would have
laughed if the mood hadn't been so intense, but with eager smiles we began
to undress each other without lifting a finger.


--tbc--
Even as I felt
my clothes slip off I couldn't take my eyes off of him. Using the Force I
slipped his tunics off with slight hesitation. I couldn't help but stare at
his perfect chest.the taut, strong muscles underneath, the pale chest hair
that just highlighted the perfection. The trail of soft hair leading down
to.I didn't know what to expect. Even talking to friends couldn't have
prepared me--I had never seen a naked man. I really was the most sheltered
Padawan in the temple, all teasing aside. How had that happened?
Obi-Wan noticed my hesitation. "Boots first, otherwise the pants will get
tangled," he instructed with a grin.
"You're no help," I said with a pout while I unbuckled his boots. How do
people do this without the Force? I couldn't help but wonder.
With their hands, he projected, teasingly. They just don't get to watch
the same way.and they can't do it at the same time without getting tangled
up together. He stepped out of his boots, and I realized he had finished
with mine, so I stepped out of mine.
Oh, he was too cocky, too smug, and too confident. Tangled up? Sounds
like that could be fun.
He stepped closer, putting his hands on the waist of my skirt. "It can be
fun. Here, let me show you." He went to his knees as he tugged down my
skirt, wrapping his arms around my legs and kissing my pussy. He tugged my
legs open, just enough, burying his face in my crotch and licking ever so
slowly and softly my nether lips. I gasped for air, holding his head for
balance.and for more.
He chuckled deep in his throat, standing up despite the quiet moan I
couldn't hold back. Patience, young Padawan. We still have one more thing
to do before we can take that shower.
I pouted at the "young Padawan" bit, but smiled sweetly, too sweetly, at
the end of that thought. With a mischievously innocent gleam in my eye I
reached to undo his pants, by hand as well, feeling his strong legs against
my hands as slowly pulled his pants to the floor. I kneeled in front of him
this time, staring at his erect member that stood before my face. I
projected what I was going to do to him a moment before I did it, reveling
in the feel of his hands gripping my shoulders. Playfully I kissed his long
member from the base to the head, then caressing him with my hands I opened
my mouth slowly and took in only the head, sucking lightly and licking
around the edge.
His knees almost buckled. I stood up suddenly, smiling, and turned to the
bathroom. "The shower awaits, right?" Before he could stop me I dashed to
the door and opened it, catching my breath and trying to calm down after
that little experiment. It was hard not to read his emotions with such
intimate contact, I could almost see through his eyes and feel how good that
was for him. I hadn't expected that at all.
He was following closely, picking up on my stray thoughts. Some bleed over
of emotions is fairly common if both partners are Force attuned. Just keep
your shields up, we don't need everyone on this level and five levels down
knowing what we're up to. He grinned knowingly, and I couldn't avoid the
thought of seeing the expression on Master Yoda or Master Jinn's face. We
both cracked up and I turned around and started the water for our shower.

How can I describe what a shower with the most handsome Padawan in history
was like? Playful. Erotic. Stimulating. I couldn't believe we actually
got clean. He took a step back, just looking at me from head to toe.
"You're so beautiful. I can't believe you've never.."
"Looking at you I can't believe I haven't yet either. What took us so
long?"
He just laughed, grabbing the soap. "Turn around, I want to get your back
first." I turned, suddenly wishing for a mirror so I could keep looking at
him. He pulled my hair aside, my flesh burned at the brush of his fingers
across my skin. I savored the feel of the pressure he used to scrub my
back, but soon he stepped closer and reached around to work on my front from
behind. I felt his hard chest press up against me, his penis pressed
against the small of my slippery back. His hands cupped my breasts, at
first caressing, and then his fingers began tugging on my nipples. I had to
lean against him for support; I was shaking from the intensity of my
arousal. Reluctantly, he continued to wash me, this time hastily. I
couldn't stand the waiting, I wanted him to take me and forget all about the
shower.
He smiled, handing me the sponge. "Patience, Tam. I still want to make
this special for you."
"It already is," I breathed.
Trust me, it gets better.
I rushed through cleaning him, but not so quickly that I didn't pay
attention. I made a note of every spot that made him squirm, probing to see
if it tickled, felt good, or both.
When we were done I just looked at him. Naked, glistening with water, he
looked like I imagined a god must look. A god of lust, I decided happily,
then wrapped my arms around him and tilted my head up for another kiss. He
bent down and gave me another searing kiss, this one I felt all the way down
to my toes. I felt his weight shift, then he reached under my legs and
lifted me up. I broke off the kiss in surprise, my eyes suddenly open wide.
"Let's go quickly to that bed of yours. I can assure you that it's more
comfortable than the bathroom floor."


******************************

We were still dripping wet from the shower as he carried me to my bed. It
just didn't matter, I didn't want to take any time away from what was coming
up. He laid me down gently and curled up beside me, looking deep into my
eyes. He held my hand, kissed the back, then turned it over and kissed my
wrist. I closed my eyes, absorbed with the sensation of his lips slowly
parting, sucking on my wrist, then moving up my arm. He was so gentle it
drove me crazy, but it made me feel like I was some delicate work of art
that must be treated with care or else I would break. I suddenly felt as
fragile as he was treating me.
"Obi-Wan," I sighed. Did you put that thought there?
Not exactly. You could say we built it together. He reached my neck, just
grazing my skin with his teeth.
I've never felt delicate or precious before.
Then I'd say now is the perfect time to. Emotionally this is the most
delicate time, and I want to make sure you know always how precious you are.
His mouth trailed down to my breasts, his hand cupping one while his mouth
captured another. I felt more than heard the moan of pleasure escape me. I
wanted to scream, I wanted to cry, but more than anything I wanted more.
He moved between my legs, still playing with my nipples. His other hand
slid up the inside of my leg, then he slipped a finger inside me. I had
never felt anything so good, until his thumb began massaging my clit and his
finger slowly slid in and out, in and out. I began to writhe under him, it
felt so good I couldn't keep still.
He moved his mouth down, kissing and licking a trail down to where his hand
played with my pussy. He removed his hand and teasingly bit the inside of
my thigh. Before I could protest his mouth was on me, his tongue caressing
my clit in a way that had me arching my back and crying out from the
pleasure. I could feel my fingertips tingling with the overload of
pleasure, vaguely aware that I was breathing so hard I was hyperventilating.
I couldn't stop myself though, it just felt so good I could feel all
control slipping.
I came so hard I could feel waves of pleasure through my entire body. He
stopped, smiling almost smugly. He moved up my body to give me a kiss, I
eagerly met his mouth with mine. An eternity later we stopped and caught
out breath. His penis nudged against my tender flesh and he looked a
question at me.
"Yes, I can't wait another moment for you to possess me." My eyes were
eager as he positioned himself.
It will help if you relax. His thought was both concerned and eager, and
as soon as he felt me capitulate he began to slowly enter me. Impatiently I
thrust myself at him, grabbing his ass with my hands to pull him toward me.
I cried out with the mixed pain and pleasure, reveling in the sensation.
So this is what it's like to lose my virginity. I smiled, gasping as his
member throbbed within me.
"Gods," he moaned into my neck as he tried to regain control. Through our
newly formed bond I could feel how close he was to the edge. "You're so
beautiful," he whispered as he pulled himself up on one hand and caressed my
face with the other. We began to rock together in that ancient rhythm, our
souls dancing in time with our bodies. I couldn't think from the pleasure,
I was completely consumed by this new passion. Higher and higher our souls
flew together as our bodies moved faster and faster. I screamed as we both
climaxed, then he held me close and all we could do was breathe.
Time passed in the glorious afterglow, then we pulled our bodies apart,
just holding hands and grinning like maniacs. I leaned forward and kissed
him. When I pulled back and looked I was rewarded with that secret smile
again.


--will not be continued--