TITLE: Theme and Timbre - Ternary(a form consisting of three
sections): Appenato
SERIES: Theme and Timbre by Raven; the following stories belong
together and make much more sense if read in sequence:
    - T&T: Teneramente
    - Your memories are my refuge
    - T&T - Lusingando
AUTHOR: Master Yo-Gurt
ARCHIVE: M&A, Raven's T&T site, SithChicks, my archive
AUTHOR'S ARCHIVE: Stolen Moments (www.ravenswing.com/YoGurt)
RATING: NC-17
PAIRING: Mace/Qui, Obi/Qui (sorta)
CATEGORY: PWP, POV (Obi-Wan)
WARNINGS: Somewhat non-Q/O
SUMMARY: Obi-Wan witnesses his Master's passion
FEEDBACK: PLEASE, always welcome on list or at
quigon_jinn21@h...
DISCLAIMER: The Flannelled One gets everything. Nuff said!
NOTES: Thanks to Raven for letting me play in her sandbox, yet again,
with my two favorite Jedi! :=) BIG SMOOCHAS to The Great Jacynthe and
Kylara for their beta and patience
with me!:=)



OBI-WAN - Appenato (grieved, distressed)


Tonight I learned what it means to love, and *be* loved!

I saw my Master in a new light this evening, open as I have never
seen him before. Vulnerable and bared for the one he loves - and my
heart is filled with a strange sadness. That I am not that person who
has the power to so transform the man I, too, do love!

Tonight I gave into anger, for a brief fleeting moment, but gave in I
did. When I realized it wasn't *me* causing my Master to cry out in
pleasure, and abandon all shreds of his usual serene self. At that
moment I cursed the man who so freely is given what I crave. Cursed
him for stealing my place in my Master's heart.

Of course I know better, know that Qui-Gon cares for me passionately,
if ever a Master *did* care for a Padawan! How foolish such jealousy
is, surely of the Dark, and I pushed it aside instantly. I should
feel happiness for my Master having found someone he was able to love
unconditionally, and that his love was returned in kind.

To love like that was something still foreign to me, and I wasn't
sure how to recognize that feeling in myself should it ever happen to
me.

Tonight, however, my question as to how it *feels* to love, has been
answered, and I know now that love indeed is what I feel in my heart.
For my Master. For Qui-Gon!

His relationship with Master Windu has never posed a problem. I knew
they were close, even when I was younger. And later, when I was old
enough for my Master to give me "the talk," I asked him what it meant
to be in love with someone. After all, *he* was in love,
wasn't he? So he should have been able to tell me exactly what it
felt like, what "being in love" truly was.

Instead, he simply had smiled, and said when the time would be right,
I would simply *know* and recognize the tell-tale signs when a
feeling was more than infatuation. The Force would guide me towards
love as much as my instincts would, and I could approach him in any
matters of the heart whenever I needed advice.

That was all!

He didn't mention anything about what he felt for Master Windu. What
it was between them that made their hearts beat a bit faster, their
thoughts change from serene to delirious with lust. What made the two
of them, as different as they are (in so many things) happy? I think
that was the word I was chasing to describe their state. Acceptance,
trust… happiness.

But I finally got my answer. Tonight. In a most unexpected way.

My Master and I had been called before the Council to report on our
last mission to Lefradan, and afterwards Qui-Gon had decided, upon
some prompting by Master Windu, to spend the night with his lover
while leaving me to my own plans. He wasn't specific, he needn't be,
about what *his* plans for the night might entail. His eyes shone
with anticipation, and his serene facade belied the giddiness he -
and through our training bond *I myself* - felt inside.

I retreated tactfully, spending the evening with my friends, then
returned to my quarters, alone. I was back there when I felt it - I
felt my Master through our training bond! Soaring on a high of sexual
lust and desire … open as I had never experienced him before!

I felt *everything* - the softness of the floor he was kneeling on
with his hands and knees; the feeling of being stretched and taken
hard by his lover who I *saw*, or at least somehow knew, to be
kneeling behind my Master, pounding his erection into him.

Qui-Gon begged for more, I could hear him! I could actually *hear*
his thoughts at that moment: his utmost trust in Windu, his pleasure
at being taken hard and fast, his mind as it sang with love and need.
All shielding gone, he was completely open, breathing harder and
harder, his own climax starting to spiral out of control. No limits
in his love for that other man, no limits on what he would do for his
lover, and in turn would receive in kind from him.

I was mesmerized, was drawn to this act of unselfish devotion,
without actually prying - it just *happened*! And there I was,
closing my eyes as I sat down onto my bed. I laid back, focussing on
the sensations I felt my Master experience, and then ...

I started to pleasure myself to the rhythm of his lover's thrusts
into him. My fingers were tight around my cock, sliding up and down,
faster and faster, keeping their rhythm as if guided by my Master's
own hand.

Qui-Gon … no, *I* felt the tingling along my shaft, the building of
heat, that poignant stinging along my nerves as I, too, came closer
and closer to completion; feeling the heavy sacks slap against my
buttocks, my rectum being stretched, aching in that sweetest of ways.
And I could *hear* him again ...

//Mace, my love …// My Master called Windu's name, called him
something sounding like a pet name. His heart quickened as he cried
out that name into a the bond he shared with his lover, as he reached
for Windu's mind. I felt them surge together, both of them
defenceless before each other, so full of joy …

I came into my hand, my Master's name on my lips, wishing desperately
my name would be on his, would be in his soul, when he came on that
thick carpet, roughly being pushed forward, then finally collapsing
onto his stomach, cushioning the fall of his lover with his own body.

As abruptly as it had begun, my connection with my Master's thoughts
were gone again. Nothing more than the muted usual training I sensed
in the back of my mind. I was startled, dismayed when I saw my hands,
sticky with my seed, my mind still crazed with
thoughts of something I knew I could never possess. Never could call
my own. I cried my frustration into the empty room, throwing myself
back into the pillows on my bed. It took a while for me to calm
myself again. For a second I panicked - what if Qui-Gon had felt me
along our training bond as well, what if he felt my love, only to
interpret my feelings as unwanted, prying and rude?

Tomorrow morning, I will not say a word about this. I don't like to
hide anything from my Master, but if he knew …, if Master Windu knew.
They will never know, this shall be the one secret that I will have
from my own Master - that it was he who showed me what it means to
love!



QUI-GON - Rattenuto (holding back)


I slipped!

I let my shields protecting our privacy slip, badly. I know I gave
away something that should only be between you and me, not to be
shared with anyone else. But it happened. And I'm afraid to find out
why.

You and I had been in the Council chamber for almost three hours,
making it our playing field, the chairs in there the props for our
love making.

I suggested we continue our play in your new offices, and you eagerly
agreed .I remember, I was egging you on, my lovely councillor, after
I had taken you hard, right above your new chair. Never before had I
been so feverish, was there such an urgency between us, but we both
certainly enjoyed the unusual roughness in our play.

Yes, I would say I was possessive - filled with emotions very
unbecoming a Jedi. People don't possess one another, and yet ... you
are mine, Mace! And I made sure you knew!

We proceeded to your office, and now I let you take the lead. I was
yours ... how I longed for your nimble fingers mapping every inch of
my skin, to prepare me for your taking. I still feel the bruises on
my hips from when you held on to me in your final cries of ecstasy.
Still feel your lips on mine, your mouth and tongue joining mine, not
asking, but taking - just as I had taken you earlier, at my pleasure,
satisfying my lust and love for you.

Your fingers made short work of the lose tunics we wore; we didn't
really bother to dress properly for our short walk from the Council
chamber over to where we are now. Within seconds, you had stripped me
off my pants and boots again, pushing me down onto that thick, soft
green carpet that lines your office from wall to wall. On my hands
and knees - that's how you like me best, I know, and I smile as it
makes me shudder from the sheer power that this position gives you
over me. This time the taking was yours, and I joyfully gave all.

Your kisses rained down onto my hips when I felt you sink to your
knees behind me, now also divested of your clothes. My tunics
dangling loosely alongside my flanks, my ass bared for your pleasure
... How titillating that position is to me! Hmmm...

Like fire on my skin, your tongue deftly loosening the ring of
muscles protecting the entrance of my body. Piercing that hole so
eagerly, wiggling inside as far as you could reach while your strong
hands stroked down my hips, my thighs, steadying yourself and holding
me in place. I so wished to push against that gentle intruder, wanted
deeper penetration but that wasn't in your plans for me quite yet.

Instead, your right hand reached around my hips, taking my already
hardened cock into your teasing fingers, squeezing it, slowly pumping
me in rhythm with your tongue piercing my hole, tickling it, pushing
inside again ... and again!

Oh Gods, it was almost enough to drive me to completion, but never
without you, my love! You know so well what I like, playing me like a
virtuoso plays the instrument he has chosen a long time ago. You are
*my* player, I'm the instrument in your hands, my soul and mind
singing along with your love and pleasure, it was so unreal... you
played me, teasing me, making my cock weep between your fingers, but
exerting enough pressure with your thumb on the base of my cock to
prevent my release. How far could you drive me? Was *that* what you
needed to know?

My breath became harder, laboured, for short moments I almost forgot
to breathe altogether, so mesmerized and desperate I was for us to
claim our prize at last! The link that is between us sang with our
union, and when at last you replaced your tongue at my entrance with
the tip of your cock ...

I know where I got those bruises from, I remember, I was shaking
feeling your cock finally demand its entrance to my body, and I
bucked against you, driving you into me hard, sheathing you with only
one hard thrust ... Bliss, sheer, bliss. I heard your pant, you were
close, like me, but you held on, releasing my cock and holding
tightly onto my hips, thrusting hard into my body.

"More, yes ... more, Mace!!!" I begged you, but you held on to your
teasing, slowly withdrawing, then forcefully plunging into me again.

//I ... I love yo- ...oh YES!//

In tried to move with your thrusts, the intervals between them
getting shorter and shorter ... I wanted you so badly, my Mace, my
love! One more thrust, I knew, then we would be there, together, we
would hear our hearts beat, our cocks pulsate with need and
completion ... . We were together, one ...

At that moment, I let my shields drop completely, for that one brief
moment I even let go of those designed to keep all other out. This is
private, between you and me. Our love is just for us, and yet... I
slipped, for the briefest of moments, and I felt my Obi-Wan as he
pleasured himself ... it drove me over the top.

You heard me, Mace. *Your* name was on my lips and in my mind, but
the picture of my Obi-Wan made me cross over into the abyss. I came,
feeling your seed filling me at the same time, your fingers digging
hard into my flesh, your hips shuddering against my own, you leaning
over me, biting my neck and leaving your marks on me. We came
together …

But someone else was there, and it was I who let him in. That one
person you so seemed to fear ... *I* let him in. Oh Mace, I didn't
know, please ... We lie here, spent, the quiet between us rendering
my thoughts loud as screams, but I have clamped down my shields now,
not wanting to draw your attention to my failure.

I'm in your arms, secure and safe. Sheltered. Why would I *want* to
squander this heaven that is you? No, Obi-Wan is my Padawan, nothing
more. I know it, and I desperately wish for you to know it as well!

"I love you, Mace!" I avow and kiss your neck with tender bites,
revelling in the sensation of tiny muscles responding to the stimuli
of my tongue on your skin. I look into your eyes … no, you are
unaware of what I felt, and I feel relief. Great relief!

Yet - for the briefest moment we were watched, you and I, and I
wonder if you felt it too.

I pray to the Force you didn't notice, that this question never will
fill the air between us; pray I will never have to come up with an
explanation for something that could only be seen as a breach of your
trust.

No questions now! I love you, I love you, I. Love. You, Mace!
Exhaustedly I let my head sink onto your warm shoulder and feel your
draw me closer to your side, your steady heartbeat like music in my
ears.

"Hmmmm .... Let us sleep now, we've earned it." You say with that
deep laughter rumbling through your chest as you kiss my hair before
you, too, settle down next to me and that large table made of dark
Alderaanian Pallador wood.

Yes, I welcome sleep to keep my thoughts from drifting … Obi-Wan. I
do not love you, cannot love you, don't *want* to love you … yet you
are there, and always will be. Oh my Padawan, why can't I get you out
of my mind, why did I let you tempt me so, my head filled with your
image, shouting out … my name? I will not betray the man I love! I
cannot  - not for you, Obi-Wan, nor anyone!

I love you, Mace, and yet I shut you out, hoping to elude your
scrutiny in the morning. I feel your breathing settle and you're
almost asleep, as I should be. The Force help me, I don't know my
heart in this any longer. But I will not lie to you. You will know
what happened tonight … eventually. Honesty and honor above all. But
for now, all I seek is to sleep and let the Force take care of us, as
it always does!



MACE - Paventato (fearful)

My worst enemy - he visits me tonight. A night I had thought, and
hoped, to be filled only with joy and our cries of passion and love.
But it stalks me as I lie here, you in my arms, knowing all is not as
it should be between us.

The mood has changed - from exuberant to deafening silence. A peace I
usually treasure. Silence isn't awkward between us. We've been
together so long! Even when we don't speak, our thoughts freely
commune and keep us close.

But now; something happened. Something ...

We were caught up in our ecstasy, trying to cling to that feeling of
warmth and happiness. You. I. But here you are, sullen, brooding,
trying your best to mollify me by pushing closer into my embrace and
whispering sweet nothings into my ears. Yet your thoughts are
somewhere else.

He was here, wasn't he? I sensed him in your mind when you … when
*we* shared our love, the heat of our bodies, spending our seed in
unbridled lust and crazed abandon. I felt him. A fleeting image, but
there. A brightness, an echo of your name on his lips. He was here.
Still has your thoughts captive and shut away from me. You think of
your Obi-Wan right now, don't you? … Don't you, Qui? He was in your
mind when you- …The final realization hits me like the strike from a
live 'saber … -*when you came*, he was with you, wasn't he?

Why was he here? Gods, I don't know how or why, but his shadow haunts
me, feeding a jealousy I didn't realize I had inside myself, and I
force my thoughts to quiet once more. Give me a Sith, any day of my
life - it would be easier to slay than *this*, my invisible foe.

You shut me out. I hate it when you do that! For a second I even fear
it was something *I* have done, but no…Anger wells up inside me,
instantly released into the Force…I silently curse that young man
whose shadow came over us like a deadly cloud. As if in a dream I
draw you closer to me, feel your head against my shoulder, your
steady breath brushing over my nipples… I'm getting hard… Oh Gods,
not now! Not now…

You're here in my arms, and yet you seem miles away. Your thoughts
your own, not shared with me like you usually do. What went wrong? We
enjoyed ourselves, I felt you quiver when I prepared you, made you
ready for me. I felt your love, was open towards you, as you were for
me. And then - nothing! I don't dare ask aloud as I reach for you but
all I feel inside me is an empty spot where you should be.

Why can't you trust me, tell me what happened? We have been lovers
for all of ten years now - have I done *nothing* to earn your trust?
Am I not worthy of that bit of *respect*? Fear, jealousy…Obi-Wan! No,
he is not my enemy, my own feelings are. But how can I battle these
doubt alone, left in the dark by you who has been my light for so
long?

Ten years, Qui-Gon! Still at times you are a stranger to me, distant,
as if we had never known each other, shared our darkest hour. Have
you so little faith in me, or in our love? Is what you keep from me
so terrible? But it's my own doubts that so suddenly have turned the
tables against me. My weakness is my own, not someone else's! My own,
not yours, not Obi-Wan's.

I don't want to go where you so clearly don't want me, and for an
instant your closeness burns into my flesh, a pain that seems to mock
all I've given you.

Peace over anger, there is no emotion …. I recite the mantra that is
the Code as my last refuge from the darkness that suddenly is so
close …

"Qui-Gon? You're awake?" I whisper, but I only get your even
breathing in response. Let sleeping Akk dogs lie, they say; maybe
that's advice I should follow more often. But all I want is scream,
to force an answer from you. An answer I loath to hear.

Not now, not tonight. I keep silent, focusing on the only thing I
seem to have left for now - your body's warmth, your breath against
my skin, and my enemy laughing at my easy fall into despair and
darkness.

//Sleep, Force let me sleep!// I silently pray, hoping the Force to
guide and shelter us for this night. No more doubts, I pray, and I
chose to believe you love me as I do love you; without regrets. Isn't
that a truth the Force itself has shown me? All I need to do is
believe…

It is late, and I close my eyes, willing myself to sleep - uneasy,
but by your side. Always!



The End