Luke gasped and woke up in his bed, in a cold sweat at his Academy on the Yavin 4. But for a moment, he wasn't sure where he was. He thought he was on Hoth again, freezing to death on the tundra. And being rescued by Han...again. His memories of that time weren't clear, but he did remember the vision of Ben. He remembered the sensation of being held by Han in the emergency shelter, remembered being told by his baritone voice, over and over, to hold on, that morning would come soon, that a rescue party would be sent out, that soon Luke would be safe and sound in the medical unit and all his pains would go away. "Just please hang on, Luke..."

Well, he did hang on, not wanting to disappoint Han. In the past that memory was a source of comfort, but lately, after his failure with Callista, it had taken on an erotic quality. Erotic?

Luke sighed. After the fiasco with Callie, he had to admit that he and women did not mix. Put simply, he wasn't excited by women, he knew this now. The only other option were...men. Not that this made anything easier. Oh sure, he was "the Jedi Master," but when it came to getting his personal needs met, he was clueless. First off, there was the same problem he had with women. So many were attracted to the Jedi Knight, but they weren't interested in Luke himself. And Luke was determined not to be manipulated. He wasn't any different from anybody else, he wanted to be loved for himself, not for what he could do. And that is where these dreams came in. Once he opened himself to the idea of a male lover, he began to realize how strong his feelings were for the dark-haired Corellian.

He sighed as he climbed out of bed. Lying here obsessing over his brother in law wasn't helping. That's right, brother in law, married to your sister, father to your niece and nephew, you remember! he chided himself. He decided to go for a walk and try to clear his head.

Walking through the temple was a great way to forget his troubles, with his bare feet absorbing the cool of the stone. The temples were so ancient, it reminded him that despite all, life endured. The Massiai used these temples for worship, the Alliance had used it for a base of operations, and now he used it for a school. When he was gone and his school closed, well, who knows, but the temple would still be here and life would endure.

Luke had used the Holocron to inquire about his situation and he found out he wasn't so unique. Several Masters preferred to keep company with their own gender. Unfortunately, most of them remained solitary, not seeking companionship. Luke sighed. To tell the truth, even among the "straight" ones few had taken partners. That seemed to be an occupational hazard for Jedi. Between needing to be careful of who you chose to be intimate with, and discovering there was no time to devote to the relationship, it was just simpler to be alone.

Of course the reason he had the dream was probably because he was expecting Han and the Falcon sometime tomorrow. Yes, he thought with clenched teeth, with Leia and the kids on vacation, Han was going to drop by with medical supplies before joining the family. That was the "official" reason for the visit. The real reason was to see how he was dealing with Callie's leaving. He knew Leia was worried, so in turn was Han. So naturally she sends Han. Gods! They don't know the real reason for her leaving, but Han would do his best to find out. So do I tell the truth, or do I keep up this charade?

Han Solo was sitting in the cafeteria with Kyp, supposedly eating dinner, but what he was really doing was trying to pump the younger man for information concerning Luke. Under normal circumstances he would have felt guilty for what he was doing. Now, however, he did not, he only felt concern. It seemed Callie's leaving was a psychic wound, a wound from which Luke had not recovered a year after the fact. It had begun with shutting down the connection between him and Leia. She had gotten in touch with him via the Holonet, demanding an explanation. He admitted then that Callie had left him, this time for good. He just wanted some privacy to mourn, okay? But that was eleven months ago, and Luke showed no signs of opening up. Yeah, so that was the real reason Han was here. If he wouldn't talk to his sister out of embarrassment, maybe he would open up to Han.

But so far that hadn't proven true. Instead he made himself scarce, too busy to spend time with Han. Funny thing is, if I didn't know any better I would think that he was downright nervous this morning, when he came down to greet me at the landing pad? If Luke's nervous, it only means that he has something to hide. Some horrible secret that he doesn't want others, even me, to know! Although in the past some of the Kid's secrets have been...well, horrible. Nothing good came from keeping them. Knowing the Kid, he is probably afraid that once I know, that it will change the way I feel about him. Which made Han only more determined to find out the truth! And he would have to do it before the night was out. Tomorrow Han had to leave and join his family on Hapes. So, looking at his chronometer, he had eight hours to get the truth out of Luke. He hoped it was enough time.

Luke sighed as he put the pad down on the desk in his office. It was late and he planned to work through the night, going through the student evaluations. But just now he was feeling very guilty for avoiding his brother in law. The evaluations had at least another week before they needed to be reviewed. It was just an excuse for him to hide in his office. Let's face it Skywalker, you have now become a coward! He stood up, stretching out his slight frame, as he moved over to the window. Yes, he had been avoiding Han all day. First he had assigned students to help unload the Falcon. He begged off lunch, saying he had a faculty meeting, then afterwards he had classes to teach. Then some time he needed for himself, on lightsaber practice and meditation. Finally he launched himself on the evaluations, refusing to break for dinner, he had food sent up to his office.

Now he felt guilty. Well maybe he should find Han and apologize, lie to him and say that it was just a bad time for a visit. Well, anything would be better than letting Han think he was now person non grata!

Luke reached out for Han's presence in the force. Han's presence in the force, how to describe it? Well, everything alive has a presence in the force. With a Jedi, like, say, Master Yoda, it could be overwhelming. Many times while training on Dagobah Luke felt he would drown in Yoda's presence. And to hear Vader...uh, his father, tell it, Luke's presence in the force was like lighting a candle in a darkened room, throwing a shadow everywhere. No, Han wasn't any of those, he wasn't overpowering. He was quiet, but strong and warm. Very warm like a blanket thrown around your shoulders on a cool spring day.

So Luke concentrated on that feeling of warmth, the blanket around his shoulders. And he found it centered on the Falcon. Hmm? So Luke turned his feet in the direction of the landing pad and began to walk. The Falcon's still on the Pad? Well, he's probably planning on leaving good and early tomorrow, to catch up with Leia and the kids. Another guilty twinge hit Luke. He was only here for the day and he'll be gone tomorrow ... treated him well, didn't I?

Standing in front of the Falcon, Luke reached out to find it's captain inside, apparently busy. Forcing himself up the landing ramp, he ran into Chewie, who was on his way out. He seems agitated, Luke thought, as Chewie stopped and looked into his eyes and growled, "Han is busy ripping out the hyperdrive. If you care about me or the Falcon, you'll stop him!" And with that Chewie stomped off.

What the heck does that mean? Luke thought, puzzled. Luke wandered further down the corridor to find one of the floor boards missing. He heard some colorful cursing coming from beneath his feet. Luke smiled, "Something wrong with the Falcon?"

"Hmm, oh, hi Luke, found some time to drop by?" the baritone voice floated upwards.

Acute embarrassment colored Luke's voice, "Um...yeah, sorry. I guess I let my administrative duties get out of hand. I kept putting it off and, well, it nearly threatened to bury me."

Silence.

Luke ventures on. "So, what are you doing, need any help?"

"Hmm, no, not really ... At first I thought I would replace the J-clips, but it now looks like the ignition circuitry needs a wiping."

Luke was shocked. Busy work? Han's finding busy work to do?... Of course, I'm avoiding him like the plague and he's picked up on my uneasiness. But he doesn't understand it or know what to do. So naturally, he's ripping apart the Falcon. He's doing something he understands. So how am I going to get Han out of the hold? A thought occurred to Luke, to tell the truth about what happened with Callie, about himself.

Han's head popped through the floor, "Hand me the oil can, Kid?"

But Luke's mouth went suddenly dry. Gods! Han was standing there without a shirt on. He was topless! Sweat was pouring down his neck, across his chest, down over his firm stomach and on to the waistband of his pants. Luke shuddered. The urge to climb down and lick Han's skin was overwhelming, to run his hands lightly over that powerful chest, to nibble and suck on his neck. In frustration Luke bit down on his bottom lip and reached out to hand to Han the oil can.

Han took the oil can from Luke's hand, stopping to really look at the Kid. Luke looked pale, and his blonde hair had darkened in places, more proof that he was over-working himself. Not enough time spent in sunlight. But there was something else there. Luke was starting to flush, the crimson color reaching to the tips of his ears. Well, no surprise in that, today had been humid and so is tonight. And right now it is a little stuffy in the Falcon. Han thought, with the work I've been doing, I must look a sight! No, that wasn't it, his eyes, the pale blue of them gone! They were darkened and troubled, they were...dilated? Luke's on spice? Nah...but the Dark Side? Would dappling with the Dark Side leave him looking like a Spicer? And now he's biting his bottom lip, again. Oh, great that means he's nervous, the Dark Side?

Han jumped to the deck, "Look Luke, I know something is really wrong. Come on, it's Han...You can tell me!"

Luke's eyes widened, a shudder traveled the length of his body. "No!" was all he said, and he turned on his heel and ran.

That was it, Han had had enough! He slammed the oil can down on the deck. The Dark Side be damned! Hell, Jedi's be damned! Something was wrong and it's tearing the Kid apart, so one way or the other I'm going to find out, Han fumed. So far, snooping on Luke hasn't done it, and acting aloof, letting him come to me, hasn't worked either. So now I am going to ask out right and keep asking until I get an answer! Han grumbled. He followed Luke down the ramp and into the forest. Normally if Luke didn't want to be found, he could easily disappear. But not this time, Han had no problem following him. Luke left behind plenty of broken branches and trampled plants. So maybe he wants to be found? Han followed the path, until it abruptly stopped.

In front of him sat a solitary figure on a rock by the river. I hate it when he gets like this! He's sitting so still he could be the damn rock! Han sighed, It used to be so simple with Luke. Luke's eyes would reflect whatever he was feeling like the summer sky. Then things changed, too many dead pilots under his command, too many friends dead. And Luke got quieter, his eyes acquired a hard shell, much less easy to read. But that was nothing compared to the Jedi, who could shut down so tightly, and whose eyes had become beautiful mirrors that reflected back whatever you wanted to see. Impossibly hard to read! Oh, if you were lucky you'd get a glimpse of the man underneath, before he slammed the door down.

Han stepped up behind Luke, who seemed to be looking up at the stars, not aware of anything. He is sitting so stiffly, his shoulders must hurt, thought Han. Han placed both hands on Luke's shoulders. Gods, he's stiff all right! And slowly he began to knead muscles, stretch tendons and massage knots away. Luke said nothing, just giving his body over to the massage.

Truth of the matter was, Han was enjoying the massage, enjoying the feel of the slight frame beneath his fingertips. He gave a sigh. One way or the other, Han was always taking care of Luke, through war time and now through peace. Han smiled, my golden boy! Hero of the Alliance! So brave! Hah, brave indeed! He remembered briefly how, on a holographic shoot for Alliance propaganda, Luke had to be talked into sitting for a Holo in his pilot's gear. At first he tried to put it off, saying he was too busy. Then he got angry, saying he didn't have time for such silliness. But finally it came out that he was terrified, that the idea of millions of people looking at him made him ill. Han's smile widened. Just like Luke, not afraid to take the Empire on in an X Wing, a ship little better than a flying kite, but terrified of getting his picture taken! Han continued the massage, as Luke's head bobbed forward and a groan escaped his lips.

Han bent down and whispered in his ear, "Talk, Skywalker, or else I tickle you to death!"

Luke's eyes flew open, tickled to death? Han's in a silly mood? That was rare, like that snowball fight, when he ambushed me on Hoth. And I, at the time, didn't know you could do that with snow. He moistened his lips, "I don't know how to tell you, it's pretty bad!"

"Just say it Kid, what happened between you and Callie?"

"That's just it, nothing happened."

"I mean it Luke!" Han said, with both hands on the younger man's sensitive sides.

Luke sighed, "I mean it, nothing happened, no mattered how much I tried, nothing happened."

"Oh," was all Han could say, as the truth finally hit. Han went back to the massage, but inside he was relieved. Not the Dark Side!!!

Luke was confused, so he pressed on, "Women in one way or another have always intimidated me. I've never been able to...no matter how I've tried." A deep breath, "Han, I think I'm a 'White Boots.'"

Wow, Han hadn't heard that term in awhile. "White Boots" referred to the Stromtroopers of the Empire, who wore white boots. But it also referred to the fact that Stormtroopers were notoriously homosexual, preferring to spend time with each other. Amongst Alliance members it was a bit of an insult to call someone "White Boots," often meaning they couldn't shoot straight. And if they were male, that they were homosexual. So, for Luke to refer to himself as a "White Boots..." Ah, gee, the Kid must be hurting! Still, "White Boots" or not, it wasn't the Dark Side!

"Is that all Kid, so you're 'White Boots?' That's no big deal!"

"No big deal!"

"Yeah, I thought it had something to do with the Dark Side, following in Daddy's footsteps! Jeeze, you really had me going!"

Silence. The massage continues, and Luke reaches for the courage to speak. "That's not all. I'm attracted to someone, deeply attracted to him, he's in my head all the time. I want it so badly. But I can't, everytime I want something this bad, it turns out horribly!"

"What are you talking about?" Now Han was confused.

Luke continues, "Well, I had always wanted to get to know my father when I was a child. I imagined that out of the blue, he would come back into my life. I used to pretend he wasn't dead. And we know what became of that! Then when I was a teenager, I wanted more than anything to get off Tatooine. I wanted to join the Academy to become a pilot. But to tell the truth, any reason to leave, any way to get off the planet I would have taken."

Luke sighs, "I got off the planet all right, but not before Stormtroopers killed my aunt and uncle. Need I go on?"

"So what do you do Luke, pretend you aren't human?"

"Sometimes it is easier to not impose yourself upon others."

Han stopped the massage, to step around and stand in front of Luke and the rock.

Han reached down to touch Luke's too-perfect jaw, tilting the younger man's head up to look in pale blue eyes turned gray by starlight. With a husky voice, "Luke, love is never an imposition, it is a gift. It is a celebration of life. Tell the man. You owe it to yourself and to him."

"Okay. Han...I love you," Luke said softly, just waiting for Han to hit him.

But instead the Corellian's golden hazel eyes sparkled. He simply said, "I know!" And as Han bent over to nibble on Luke's neck he thought to himself, Hero Worship? Definitely!

Luke reacted to this by nearly falling off the rock.

And to this Han chuckled, "You Skywalkers are sure a hard-headed bunch! It took Leia two years to come to terms with her feelings, and you only ten! I'm just lucky that you didn't decide to make it a deathbed confession!'

Luke tried to pull away, "But what about Leia?"

"Hmm, what about Leia?" Han answered while still nibbling.

"Do you love her?"

Han stops for a second to answer, "Yes...yes I do!" He returns to the nibbling.

"How do you think she'll feel about you biting my neck?"

Han stops for a moment to seriously consider the question. Gods, he thinks, the Kid really needs the affection. He answers, "I don't know, I'll ask her when I see her!" He resumes said activity.

"Han!"

Han stops and gives a sigh, "Okay, I see you need to talk."

"Yeah, don't you feel like you're cheating on her?"

Cheating on her? Now Han is confused. How can taking care of Luke equal cheating on Leia? He answers, "Well, in some ways nibbling on your neck is like keeping it all in the family!" while reaching out to caress Luke's chin.

Luke pulls back, "What!?"

Han gives another sigh, "All right, you want me to be serious, I will be! In some ways, I used to feel as if I was cheating on you when I was with Leia." Han takes a deep breath and continues, "You know it was you I fell in love with first. You're the reason I came back. I couldn't bear the thought of those damn TIEs turning you into dust over the Death Star. I couldn't let them hurt you, Luke. Why do you think I went out after you on Hoth? The idea that you didn't know when to come back in, that because of your selflessness, you were attacked by that damn Ice Creature, that you were going to freeze to death made me sick. I had to bring you back!"

Luke can't believe his ears, loved him first? "And Leia," he questions weakly, "how will she feel about this?"

"About your being a homosexual, I don't know!"

"No! About chewing on my neck!"

"Hmm, welll, I think that she'll understand. I mean, it's not like her to begrudge you anything. Besides, I think she still has the hots for you herself."

That did it, now Luke was sick, he got off the rock and began to back away.

"Oh, come on Kid, really, it's understandable. The two of you may be siblings but you never grew up together. So it's hard for her not to see you as a beautiful man!"

Luke is now a good ten feet away, "Every time I want something it turns out horrible, but this, gods... I can't take it!"

"Luke don't..."

"No! It would have been better if you had just hit me!" With that Luke turns on his heel and disappears into the vegetation.

And all Han can do is say, "Damn, damn, damn!"

A few hours later....Luke is standing in his room looking out the window at the stars. He should have been tired by now, after the 10K run he took upon leaving Han. But he wasn't. He was dressed in a worn white tunic and equally worn gray baggy pants. He was dressed for bed, but sleeping at this point was the last thing on his mind. He was just too rattled. And he had thought nothing could rattled him as much as on the day when Vader had said, "No, I am your father." He shook his head. Han had managed to do this in the space of a few minutes. Every thing he knew was ripped to shreds.

An ugly thought forced it's way to the front of his mind, "White Boots." The Emperor had called him "White Boots." When Luke was trying to defend himself, insisting that he was not like Vader, that he was not going to become the Emperor's servant, it happened. The Emperor cackled, "You're right, young one, there is one way you are not like your father. He was always very attracted to woman, and you, you're nothing but a pair of 'White Boots!'"

Luke's head sank to his chest, as he took a deep breath. The Emperor had been right about a great many things that day, and now he was right about Luke. Shaking his head again, he pushed the thought away and sighed. The problem was he needed to confront Han and deal with this, deal with it now before it got worse. Got worse? Luke shook his head, could it get worse? I don't know, Luke thought, but if I don't confront him and resolve it, I'll never be able to look at him again. Or Leia. Yeah, holidays are sure gonna be fun, with this between us. Ah, damn their my family, I have to mend this...I can't lose Han's friendship over this! He turned and walked out of the relative safety of his room to face the unknown.

Minutes later, standing barefoot at the end of the landing ramp of the Falcon, Luke reached out to feel for Han. Alone? I wonder where Chewie is? Summoning up his courage, he walked up the ramp. But Luke didn't get far. Just inside, he gets slammed hard into the bulkhead. He swallows and finds himself pinned to the wall by...Han?

"Hi, Han." Luke says with confusion in his voice. He opens his eyes to find himself staring into topaz eyes.

Han's voice is husky, "We are settling this now, Skywalker! One way or the other! We can do this the easy way, or we can do this the hard way!

"The hard way?" Luke questioned slightly dazed. He was mesmerized by the topaz eyes bearing down on him. When did Han become a roaring fire?

"Yeah, the hard way, you use the force to slam me against the bulkhead and turn and walk away. But I'm warning you, in a month I'll return with a Ysalamiri and we can try this again!"

"And the easy way?" Luke whispered.

"You act reasonable, and let me take care of you. Who knows, you may even enjoy yourself."

Luke closes his eyes and shakes his head, "I won't hurt you, Han."

A wicked grin spreads across the Corellian's face. "That's a good boy!"

But Luke shakes his head again, "I'm not here to play your game either... We need to talk, not..."

Han cuts in, "I see, so you'll be talking while I nibble on your neck?"

"A Jedi feels no passion!"

"That's good Luke, you keep saying that, see if you can use the Jedi code to hide behind!"

Luke took a deep breath, readying himself for the onslaught. He was expecting some sort of aggressive sexual attack, but he was wrong. The look on Han's face had grown incredibly tender. Han reached out to the dimple on Luke's chin.

Luke flinched.

"Hey, Kid, relax. I don't plan to hurt you...seduce you, maybe!" Han chuckled. He reached out and brushed his thumb over Luke's soft mouth. Reflexively Luke's lips parted and before he knew it, Han's tongue traced the inside of his mouth. Over and over, achingly tender.

This is not what I expected, how do I resist this? Luke puzzles over it in his mind. How do I stay detached? Han pulled away, much too soon for Luke, and began to blow on his ear.

"Luke? What's 6 x 5?"

"Hmm? Uh, 6 x 5 is ...what's 6 x 5, it's 30. Yes, it is 30."

A purely male chuckle came from the Corellian. "Yeah, but it took you a while!"

Luke was losing this battle, he knew it, but he refused to concede, so the torment continued. Han continued blowing on his ear, then sucking and licking, finally biting and nibbling. When Han was finished with the general neck area, Luke couldn't stop the tremors traveling his body. His eyes were squeezed shut and he was doing everything to try to slow his breathing.

"Luke?" Han's voice.

"Um?"

"Luke, what's 9 x 6?'"

"Um...9...times...6? It's ...it's 54."

"Yeah, I thought so!" Han murmured.

Luke felt Han unwrap his tunic, sliding his hand over Luke's bare chest, while Han's hip and shoulder pinned Luke in place. The brunette's light touch was driving him insane, leaving him flinching all over. As Han began lightly brushing Luke's nipple, a gasp escaped Luke's lips. The feeling was too intense, his body was becoming a mass of sensation. He wanted it to stop, unfortunately, Luke wasn't in control, Han was. Butterfly kisses rained down across Luke's chest, leaving him gasping for air. Then Han began to suck, nibble and bite his nipples. Oh Gods, Luke needed it to stop, now!

"Luke? Luke, what's 5 x 7?"

"Please...Han...stop...now!"

Han reached down to touch Luke's member. No, not quite yet. Luke gasped and tried to pull away, to no avail. He could barely move, the Corellian was using every inch of height and weight to pin him.

"Sorry buddy, but you didn't answer my question! What's 5 x 7?"

"Umm, ummm...it's ...30...no...32!"

Han chuckled, "Very good!" Han removed the shoulder that held Luke in place, and reaching down he pushed Luke's pants to his knees. After kissing every inch of Luke's stomach and licking his belly button (an outie), soft cries began to come from the back of Luke's throat.

Han began to play with Luke's member, caressing it with the lightest of touches, blowing on it and watching in fascination as it hardened, against it's owners wishes. He looked up, "Luke?"

But Luke was beyond speaking, instead he slid his newly freed hands through Han's hair. Han smiled and took the tip and began licking and sucking. Luke's hand tightened, forcing him to deep-throat the Kid. Back and forth, over and over, taking Luke inside and sliding him out. Something snapped inside Luke and he exploded inside Han's mouth. Han smiled, his mouth and throat were full of Luke and he swallowed. But before he realized it, Luke had hit the floor with his knees drawn up to his chest, trembling.

Shaking his head, Han bent over, untangling Luke and pulling him to his feet. With Luke clinging to his arms, he reached down to pull Luke's pants up. The trembling had stopped, but Luke didn't react, he clung to Han's arms limply. It was as if Luke had become a living doll.

Han grasped Luke's shoulders to turn him around and guide him back to the crew cabins, but all Luke did was to sway and wobble, his balance completely unsteady. Han gave a sigh. This level of passivity was not good. It seemed when Luke lost the war with his own feelings he gave up altogether. He's become a meek bystander, he is so totally overwhelmed! Poor Kid! When it didn't work with Callie, I'll bet he presumed it didn't work at all!! Han mused. Luke's sexuality had become a bad situation, his inability so painful that it never occurred to the Kid that he could find pleasure in the touch of another. Well, I hope I've changed his mind! Han grinned as he scooped Luke into his arms. And as Luke nestled into his chest, Han sighed. Luke reminded him of Anakin, his youngest son. Yes, Anakin had taken after his uncle. They were a lot alike in so many ways! They shared the same open warm heart, the same selflessness, the same refusal to "burden" others with their pain.

When they reached Han's cabin, Han placed Luke upon the bunk, laying him down on his back. Han stepped back to study him. Still no reaction. Luke was a beautiful, living, breathing doll, with eyes closed and mouth slightly parted. Gods, he looks like one of Jaina's sleeping baby dolls!

"Luke?" Han reaches out to shake Luke's shoulder.

"Hmmm?"

"Luke, are you okay?"

"Hmmm!"

"Luke, I need you to speak, you know, words?"

"Hmm, okay."

Han sighed, "Luke, open your eyes, I need to see your eyes!"

Luke blinked through a sexual haze.

"Oh," Han said as a smile played across his lips. "Can't feel any pain, buddy?"

Han climbed over Luke and settled down behind him on the bunk. Slipping an arm around Luke's waist, he pulled him back into his embrace. Han lay like that for a few minutes wondering how long the sexual haze would last?

Luke cleared his throat. "The Emperor called me 'White Boots,' and he was right, too. He said I would never measure up to my father," Luke murmured.

Ah, damn! So that is where he got the expression! Han sighed, "Well Kid, not measuring up to your Dad might not be a bad thing. Hell, it might be a good thing! I mean, I know that you have forgiven him, but I doubt the rest of the universe has!"

"Hmm, guess so."

"And another thing, I don't want to hear you call yourself 'White Boots,' again! I've seen you on the practice range, and you're a fine shot. In fact calling yourself 'White Boots' is an insult to homosexuals everywhere!"

This elicited a laugh from Luke, which is what Han had planned on. Han sighed, it felt good to hear Luke laugh. Luke was so serious, he needed some fun and pleasure. Speaking of pleasure, an idea hit Han. He let go of Luke and climbed out of the bunk.

"Hmmm?"

"Don't worry, Kid, I've got an idea, you'll love it! I'll be right back!"

Luke sighed, "Okay," and closed his eyes as he waited for Han to return. This is not what he had planned on, but he was so at peace that he just didn't care.

Han returned and placed something on the other side of Luke. He climbed the bunk, this time straddling Luke. Luke gasped as a hungry mouth trailed kisses across his chest. He felt himself start to harden. Again? He thought they were going to talk, after all, they had a lot to discuss. He gave a sigh as his body reacted to Han's skillful mouth and tongue.

"Come on Luke, I promise what I have planned will feel so good!"

He felt his pants being pulled down and completely off. He flinched as Han blew on his member and he completely hardened. Luke found himself being flipped on his tummy, while soft wet kisses trailed down his back. Something cool and wet slipped between the crack of his butt. He gasped and tried to pull away.

Han whispered into his ear, "Relax, just let it happen, it will feel so good!"

More kisses rained down his back, and Luke felt pressure, a finger pressed against his anus.

"C'mon Luke, relax let the feelings take over."

And as Luke took a deep breath and let it out, the fingers, Han's finger slid in. No, we are not supposed to be...we should be talking! Luke thought distractedly. But the finger slid in further and Luke's body reacted to it, his hips started rocking.

"Hmm, not just yet, Luke, but almost!" The finger began to slide out and in, joined by another. Luke could feel his body accept the invasion, welcome it and stretch, eager to accept it. But his mind kept saying, No! Why are you doing this to me! We need to talk!

Luke felt Han's fingers scissoring inside him, opening him wider. He felt more cool wetness on his behind and then something smooth and hard was pressed against him. No stop, please!

But he could only gasp as Han demanded, "C'mon Luke, let it take you, open up and let it in, I promise it will feel great!"

He felt his body comply, as the hard and smooth thing slid in. Luke knew it wasn't Han, skin didn't feel like this. But the thing slid in further, until it filled him up. A warm glow began to spread, and it took him over. Oh, Yes! Luke groaned as the object began to slide in and out again. He felt his body buck off the bunk, only to be held in place by Han's weight bearing down on his shoulder. He was pinned in place. He could feel his member against his tummy. He could feel something building inside. He kept trying to hold off, hold off. And it hit him, he could barely breathe, then he exploded on the sheets beneath him.

He felt Han chuckling as the thing slipped out, "Oh Gods...Kid you're beautiful!"

He couldn't stop trembling as Han pulled him into his arms and held him tight. Exhaustion was over-taking Luke as he heard Han say, "Sleep, we have a couple of hours left before daybreak."

Luke wanted to say, No we need to talk, but gave up. He was really tired, and he let sleep take him away.

Luke rolled over, gave a yawn and woke up. Something was digging into his thigh. He reached down to grab the object and held it up at eye level. Slowly his eyes focused on the object in his hand. A hydrospanner? How the heck did a hydrospanner wind up in his bed? He closed his eyes, trying to replay the events of last night. Shaking his head as the memories tumbled forth, he looked over at Han, who seemed to still be asleep. Looking back at the hydrospanner, he found himself staring at the handle. Rubbing the handle back and forth in his hand, the grip on it was sticky and gooey? But why would that be...

Oh gods no! He dropped the hydrospanner and flung himself out of the bunk. He...with the 'spanner! A sick, nauseous feeling overcame Luke as he remembered that cold hard object inside him. He ran into the refresher, and placing his head over the waste disposal unit he vomited. Every time he thought about that cold hard object ramming into him, he retched. He kept retching until only dry heaves were left. Going over to the sink he splashed cold water on his face.

He looked up into the mirror to find Han leaning in the doorway watching Luke intently. Luke swallowed and closed his eyes. The nausea was thankfully gone, but it had been replaced by a dull pain, tearing away at his gut. Breathe, Skywalker, don't think, just breathe and find your center. And breathe! Luke told himself. Luke turned, taking two cleansing breaths, and headed for the door. I need to find my pants, he thought distractedly. Moving sideways, Luke tried to squeeze past Han. Han, Gods, I'll think about him later, just not now!

Han knew something was wrong with the Kid, but what? He had been sleeping and was awakened to find Luke being sick in the refresher. He was about to ask what was wrong, when he saw a strange bleak look in the pair of pale blue eyes. He had never seen that look before, and he didn't like it. So, instinctively, he said nothing. As Luke tried to squeeze past him, Han reached out to touch Luke's shoulder.

But Luke pulled himself out of arm's reach and out of the bathroom. He spun on Han with eyes ablaze and he said, "Don't...ever...touch...me ...again!!!"

Woah! Where did that come from? Han voiced his confusion, "Is everything all right, buddy?"

"Let me see, Thursday night, yep my usual night for a blow job!" Luke snarled.

Blow job!?!? Han was shocked, Luke doesn't talk that way! What is going on here! "Luke, are you somehow angry with me?" Han questioned.

Luke spun, not bothering to reply, looking for something. He then untangled a gray pair of pants from the bedding and began the serious job of getting dressed.

"All right, so you're angry with me, I can see that, but what I don't know is why?"

Luke glared up from the bunk, one leg in his pants, one leg out. "Oh, I don't know, maybe it has something to do with ...with this!" Luke had reached behind himself and flung the 'spanner across the room. It landed at Han's feet.

This is insane, Luke's upset because I used the 'spanner to bring him to climax? Han clears his throat, maybe if he explained, "I thought you'd enjoy using it Kid, it's Leia's favorite. You see, one day I thought I'd come home early and surprise her. But I got the surprise, I caught her in the shower with it shoved up her butt. She's so tiny and it's so big, sticking out of her and the way she moaned, I nearly came in my pants..."

Luke cut him off, "So you thought I'd enjoy being...being...BEING FUCKED WITH THE HYDROSPANNER!!!!!

Silence. Han has no idea what to say to that. Fucked with the Hydrospanner. Han watched in a numb state as Luke finished getting dressed, slipping his arms into the worn, white tunic. Luke gets up, and, never looking at Han, brushes past him to reach for the door. Han has never felt so helpless.

"Luke, I, uh...." Luke stops and Han turns to stare at the Kid's back.

He watches as Luke takes a deep breath, "How the hell could you have done this to me?" Luke turns around, and Han takes an involuntary step back, the pain in those pale blue eyes. No, it can't be my fault! "I said I loved you. I wanted you inside me, I wanted to feel your warm skin against mine. I wanted you to fill me up, fill up all the dark, quiet places inside me. I wanted you, I have always wanted you." vNow, Han understood, "Ah, Kid, this Hero worship thing was cute at twenty, but come on, you're in your thirties. It is time to grow up, Luke. You need to find someone who can..." Han stopped, a strange look passed over Luke's face, a very unfriendly look, a dangerous one.

"Hero worship?" Luke spoke in a soft menacing tone. "I tell you, I love you and you hear Hero Worship.....Unbelievable!!" Luke was barely controlling his anger, his left hand had curled into a tight fist and it was glowing blue. "If this was all just Hero Worship, I would like you to explain your actions of last night?"

Han swallowed, the Jedi? Luke was gone or deeply hidden, and he was now left to deal with the Jedi, albeit a very angry Jedi. Staring at the glowing left fist, Han swallowed again. Would Luke hurt him? He didn't think so, but then again he had never seen him this angry, either. "I, uh, wanted to take care of you. I wanted to help you face your physical attraction to men. I know it must have hurt when you couldn't....with Callie, since the two of you were great friends. I wanted to prove that being touched doesn't have to hurt. That being loved doesn't have to hurt."

A mirthless chuckle echoed forth from Luke's throat, "Really, is that so...then why do I hurt so much? Next time you want to take care of me, use your blaster, it will hurt much less and I'll see it coming." With that he spun on his heel and headed for the door. And as Han made a move to follow him, Luke growled, "Follow Me, Corellian And I Won't Be Responsible For What Happens!!!"

Han was stopped dead in his tracks, that voice ... the man with that voice could and would hurt him! So Han watched as Luke left. He walked over and sank into the bunk. Gods, was this all his fault? he knew Luke could be sensitive at times, but this? The pain in those blue eyes, had he somehow betrayed Luke by making light of his feelings? He said, I love you, was there more to it than Hero Worship? I wanted you inside me, to feel your skin against mine?? Oh Gods, Leia how could I be so wrong? I only wanted to help Luke deal with his feelings, to accept them. Watching Luke in the midst of an orgasm had been a joy, never had it occurred to me that this is how it would end! Oh Leia, how do I fix this?

But Han knew he couldn't. Maybe with time things would heal themselves. But I need to give him space, to cool down, to lessen the pain, to...forgive me. Oh, Leia what do I say to you? I come to help your brother and I make everything worse! OH Sweetheart!!! What if you don't forgive me??? What if I lose you as I've lost Luke????

Luke stood on the roof of the main temple, looking out on the horizon, watching as the Millennium Falcon took off. The roaring inside his head had stopped, he was relieved at that. But he wasn't proud that he had almost flamed a tree trying to get his anger under control. The pain was another story. He sighed, the incident with Callie had been an embarrassment, it had left him feeling hollow inside, different, like an oddity. But he was used to being alone, to being treated as odd. Luke shook his head, How could he have manipulated me so, watched me in a vulnerable place, yet shared nothing of himself with me? Gods this... this callous treatment by the hands of someone I...NO! No more! And as Luke's left hand curled into a fist, tears flowed down his cheek. He told himself over and over again, chant-like, No! I do not love Han Solo! I am not crying! And a Jedi never feels any Passion!!!!

DISCLAIMER: This story is a work of fiction written in appreciation of Star Wars; to promote the franchise and to keep it alive. All characters and settings original to Star Wars are copyright to Lucasfilm, Ltd. The rest is copyright to the author.