Title: Toys
Author: Shellyfett
Rating: Pg-13 as usual.
Summary: An argument occurs over why some people have
their own action figures and some don’t.
Disclaimer: Lucas owns the boys, i only play with them
while he’s busy making money off
them.
----
(NOTE: This is part of the metaverse series, anyone
not familiar with the Metaverse, ask me and i'll
explain it.)
---------------------


Xanatos looked over the very edge of the table,
examining his Obi-wan action figure from
table-top level. “Oh no, master, look, it’s a Sith!”
he mimicked Obi-wan’s voice, moving the Darth Maul
figurine over to the two Jedi figures. “Back off,
Padawan, I’ll handle this!” Xan imitated in Qui-gon’s
tone. He proceeded to make the two figures beat the
crap out of each other, then mimicked the infamous
kill-skewer with the plastic Maul’s acrylic
lightasaber. “Gaaah!” he mimed a death-groan, then
dropped
Qui-gon to the table with a ‘thunk’. 
“Noo! master!” He said in Obi’s character again. 
“You’re next, little Jedi,” Xan said in as close
to Maul’s voice as he could manage. “Oh, save us,
someone!” he said in a higher tone, setting the
Amidala figure closer to the Battle-droid figures. 
“No one can save you!” he growled in Maul’s voice,
then moved the Obi-wan figure to attack. “Ha! take
that, and that! Dammed Sith!”
“Stop that!” he said in his own voice, reaching
behind the lamp for another figurine. “Oh, no,
who’s that?” He said in the Amidala voice. “Tis I,
Xanatos, and Obi-wan is mine!” he announced,
producing what had once been another Maul, but was now
Han Solo’s head on Darth Maul’s body, with
black embroidery thread glued to the head for long
hair. 
“You may have got Jinn, but Kenobi is mine!” he said,
posing the hacked-together Xanatos
figurine between the two others. “Die, filthy spawn
of the Jedi!” he announced, attacking the Obi figure
with his own. “Blaagh!” he imitated a death-cry,
tossing Obi-wan over the edge of the table. “Ooh,
nice
one, o great Xanatos,” he said in his Maul imitation. 
“Shut up, tattooed freak!” Xan said, then proceeded
to attack the Maul figurine. Another death-cry, and
Maul’s figurine hit the table with a ‘thunk’ next to
Qui-gon’s.
“Oh, my hero. You’re so brave, and handsome, and so
much better at being bad than those
stupid Sith,” he mimed in Amidala’s voice. “Shaddup,
Kabuki-girl!” he said, then mock-skewered the
queen’s action figure with another “Aaagh!”

A low chuckle from the doorway startled him, drawing
his attention up from his toys. Exar Kun
leaned on the door-frame, a strange smirk on his face,
watching Xan play. “I was beginning to wonder
how you acquired such an egocentric view of the
universe,” he said, sounding amused. He called the
defeated Darth Maul figure to his hand with a tug of
the force. “Not a very accurate likeness, is it?” Kun
asked over his shoulder, holding the figure out to
someone behind him. 
A gloved hand took the toy with a growl. “Not much
better than your impression of me,” Darth
Maul rumbled, stepping out of Kun’s shadow. He
smirked then snorted at the little plastic figure,
turning
it over in his hands for a better look. “Strange
things these people see as appropriate for children,”
Maul
mused, straightening the little dual-ended lightsaber
in his mini-double’s hand.
Kun sighed, casting his eyes over the assembled
figurines. “All these Jedi, and so few Sith? I
find this appalling. These people have no sense of
taste,” he complained. “You’re just mad because they
haven’t made one of you,” Maul said, then chuckled at
Kun’s sour glare.
“I have no desire to live with the concept that
somewhere on this planet, some five-year-old is
playing with a five-inch tall plastecine version of
myself. I find the thought even more appalling than
the
lack of proper balance in their production,” Kun said,
then stalked out of the room.

Maul waited until he was further down the hall, then
snickered. “Jealous,” he said softly, then
walked over to the table, studying Xan’s collection. 
Xanatos hid his customized figure down his sleeve,
and Maul chuckled. Maul picked up the Qui-gon
figurine, studying it, then dropped it to the floor. 
“Oops,” he said without sincerity. “Well, at least
*you* have one. I mean, even Xizor and Thrawn from
the books have
one, but me? Noo, no decent people, just you guys,”
Xanatos griped. 
Maul just smirked. “Okay, fine, go gloat and mock
all you want. It’s as close as I’ll ever come to
actually killing off the bastards. I mean, by all
rights of fate and future, he has to live a long and
boring
life, then end up dead by his own apprentice. As much
as I adore the steel-belted pain in the arse for it,
it’d still be nice to know I at least had a shot at
offing the old fart and the little snot,” Xanatos
grumbled,
scooping his action figures back into a cardboard box.
Maul just sighed, “It’s not especially pleasant to
know my end is in being bisected by a Jedi
apprentice.” Xan snorted a snicker. “Hey, imagine
poor Kun. Betrayed, executed, then left as a ghost
for
four-thousand years, only to be offed by a bunch of
kids and that Skywalker snot.” Maul fought off a
chuckle, “True,” he admitted. Xanatos chuckled, “Hey,
at least I have that much over the old bastard,” he
said. 
Maul just shook his head, heading for the door. He
paused at the door, looking back at Xanatos
strangely, then he laughed to himself. “Kabuki-girl?”
he chuckled, walking out into the hallway and
fading into the gloom again.


----------------------------- 

“What is it?” Zekk asked, examining the contents of
the humongous box with a curiously blank
expression. “The note says it’s a present from
Xanatos,” Ariel said, staring with equal confusion at
the
massive box. “Hey, Ditto-wans, what’s with the box?”
Zek asked, leaning his elbows onto the table and
peering into the mystery box. The twins shrugged. 
Zek reached into the box, pulling out a vintage
‘Cloned Emperor’ action figure, complete and undamaged
in its box. “Ooh, action figures. Hey, I’ve
been looking for this one. What else is in there?”
Zek said, rooting through the box.
“What’s that?” Aliya asked, coming down the stairs,
with Kiraan a few steps behind. “Action
figures. Xanatos dropped them off. I’m guessing this
is another one of his sick little jokes,” Zek said, up
to his elbows in the box. “Alright! Ali, kiss Xan
for me next time you see him, there’s a Talon Kardde
and a Thrawn in here! These aren’t due out until
winter!” Zek announced from half-inside the box.
The twins and Kiraan leaned over the box as well,
curious. Zek nearly bumped into Zekk as he
came up out of the box with several carded action
figures. 
“Guys, now, I know that this being Xanatos, there’s
probably some thirty year old collector in his
parent’s basement sobbing his eyes out right now over
these. Either that or he ripped off the Kenner
warehouse itself, which I wouldn’t put past him. And
having said all that, I don’t care. Right now, I love
the little black-hearted monster,” Zek said, holding
up a vintage vinyl-robed old Obi-wan with telescoping
saber from the seventies, still in mint condition,
sealed in its box.
Aliya shook her head, and the Jedi twins looked at
each other strangely, then shrugged. “AAH! 
It’s the bounty hunter Chewie from ‘Shadows’! They
only had like five of these left when I went to buy
mine!” Zek cried from his half-buried position,
rooting through the box again. Even Kiraan shook his
head with a sigh at Zek’s childish enthusiasm this
time.
“Yo, little brother? It’s from Xanatos, you said
yourself that means he probably stole them, so
why did he?” Aliya asked. Zek was silent for a
moment. “Most likely just for the pure agitation of
seeing
our reactions to them,” Kiraan rumbled, picking up a
Ki-Adi-Mundi from the top of the box. 
He rumbled in amusement, studying the figure. “It
doesn’t even look like him. Well, the bad
fashion sense and the large head yes, but the
resemblance is extremely lacking.” Kiraan paused,
turning
the figure at an angle. “Then again, he was a bit
more animated last I saw him.”
Both sets of twins looked at him strangely. “Well,
he was busy restraining Yoda from trying to
strangle me at the time. What?!” Kiraan said
defensively at the strange looks and weary groans. 
“That
little troll has always had it in for me. If it
hadn’t been for Master Ak-kinnarou, I’d never have
been
accepted to the order. He and Master Blake fought
against both Yoda and Shikk Taoull in my favor when
I was found. Luckily, Yoda was still a junior member
of the council, and Tal Evgann’s vote shut him up.”
All four of the others looked confused, and finally
Zek shrugged and went back to digging in the
box. “Hey, speaking of trolls,” he said, lifting out
a Yoda action figure with a smirk. Kiraan sighed in
disgust, walking off with a ‘that’s not funny’ look at
Zek. Zek laughed, dropping the figure back into the
box. 
“So, what do we do now?” Aliya asked.

---------end pt 1-------

“You mean to tell me that every single member of the
Jedi council, and every character from the
dammed Mos Eisley cantina has an action figure, and
yet myself and Kun don’t rate one?!?!” Ulic
Qel-Droma ranted, slamming his palms down onto the
table across from Xanatos. Xan nodded, “Hey, I
didn’t even rate, and my books are way more popular
than your comics.” “Like hell!” Ulic snapped,
stalking off across the room a few paces, fuming. 
“Those damn ‘Jedi Apprentice’ books are Kiddie-crap!”
Xanatos took instant offense, half-standing at his
seat. “I’ve read them, you made me curious to
know why you’re such a psycho. They’re crap! Pure,
unadulterated, simplified baby-crap!” Qel-droma
ranted, pacing across the room-runner carpet. Xan’s
eyes were narrowed to icy slits, a thin aura of
crackling blue charging the air around him with his
ire.
“Look, *Sith*,” Xan hissed, “Those kiddie-books are
part of my world, and my reality. Okay,
they cut out a lot to make it G-rated, but most of it
happened like that. A lot more happened that was lost
in the sugar-coating, so don’t call my universe crap!”
His voice rose in volume toward the end as the
crackling aura increased in magnitude. 
“Besides, you ever read those damn comics? One book
you look like yourself, the next you look
like Billy Zane on crack, the next you look like some
freaky Goth-boy who’s been starving himself. Same
with Kun! One book he’s Adrian Paul, the next he’s
Antonio Banderas, and the next, he’s Iggy Pop!” 
Ulic looked confused, he didn’t pay enough attention
to Earthan culture to know who any of
those people were. Xanatos sighed, sitting back down,
the flickering aura of negativity fading. “Look,
neither of us are what this universe thinks we are. 
NONE of us are. I mean, look at Maul for example. 
In the movies he’s all silent and malevolent, Evil
personified. But in real life, he’s actually kind of
nice,
not to mention polite. Sheesh, doesn’t it say in the
Sith Handbook somewhere that Sith do not say ‘I’m
Sorry’ every time they bump into, trip over, or insult
someone?”
Qel-Droma snickered, casting a glance at the door,
“True. He is a bit quiet and reserved
compared to the movie version. Then again, you’ve
already said I’m quite a bit more like what you
thought Kun would be, and he’s more the reluctant
‘corrupted Jedi’ you thought I’d be.” Xanatos nodded,
“Ohhh yeah,” he confirmed, remembering the
fist-around-your-throat way Qel-Droma acted compared
to
the ‘Don’t make me hurt you’ attitude of Kun.
“You’re definitely not the brooder Kun is. He could
teach a Goth a few things about angst,
moaning, brooding and sulking,” Xanatos said. “Not
to mention the proper way of wearing black and
armor. Most Sith-pretenders can’t seem to get the
hang of black leather and appearing from the
shadows,” a voice said from the second doorway near
the fireplace.
They both looked over, and found Kun leaning against
the fireplace, looking more like Antonio
Banderas from ‘Desperado’ today. Well, plus the
emerald eyes and minus the Spanish accent. He sighed,
crossing his arms over his chest. “And I still don’t
fancy the idea of some child playing with a miniature
plastecine version of me. It’s disturbing.” 
Xan smirked, “It’s only disturbing to you because you
don’t have one.” “And neither do you,
dear boy,” Kun said with a sigh, standing straight and
taking a few steps closer. “*Your* action figure is
made from Maul’s body and a smuggler’s head,” Kun
said, smirking slightly at Xanatos’ sour expression. 
“And should i even mention the yarn hair?” he taunted.
Xanatos glared and snorted angrily. “Well, at least
i have some creative skills beyond looting
and pillaging. Besides, it’s not yarn, it’s thread,”
he retorted, almost sounding mock-sulking at the last
part. “Of course, embroidery thread, from the Darth
Martha Stewart end of the Force, i suppose?” Kun
teased with a mocking half-grin. 
Xanatos’ glare went up a few notches. “That is not
even in the same universe with being
amusing,” he snarled. Kun just shrugged, “Better
Martha Stewart than that Christopher Lowell person,”
he said snottily, walking back toward the fireplace. 
“I happen to like that show!” Ulic defended, then
backed away as two sets of eyes turned toward him. 
“What?” Qel-droma defended. The other two
force-wielders snickered. Ulic grumbled, “Okay, well,
it’s better than that ‘Oprah’ garbage i caught Maul
watching.” He shivered in revulsion, shaking his
head.
“I’m starting to believe that this Earthan
‘television’ is specifically engineered to be pure
mindless drivel meant to distort and liquify the minds
of the populace into a stupor to make them easier to
rule,” Kun said, resuming his lean on the fireplace
mantle. Qel-droma kept silent, not wanting to tell
anyone just where he’d gotten the ideas for repairing
the upstairs bathrooms. 
Xanatos just sighed, “Not all of it, just most of
it,” he said, propping a boot onto the tabletop,
leaning back in his chair. Kun lifted an eyebrow in
query. “Well, some shows are okay. That Babylon 5
isn’t too bad. Oh, but there’s this one thing called
‘Buffy the Vampire Slayer’, Kun, you have to see it. 
It’s hilarious. I mean, the only characters with any
depth are the villans, and that one, Spike. I almost
wish i could find a portal to their world. He’d make
an interesting addition to the house,” Xan said,
sounding more excited toward the end. “Actually...”
he began, fading off thoughtfully.
“Don’t even think about it. You’re already suspended
from world-jumping. There’s no way in
twelve hells i’m letting you bring another vampire
into this universe,” Kun growled. “What, you didn’t
like meeting Lestat?” Xanatos teased. Kun glared,
“Don’t *ever* mention that... thing near me again,” he
hissed, storming out the side door. 
“Ouch,” Xanatos said quietly. Qel-Droma smirked,
“You’ve forgotten that little ‘clash of the
immortals’ already?” he asked. Xanatos just shook his
head, then shrugged. “Nope, i was the one who
taped it and sold it to pay-per-view,” he said,
smirking wickedly. 

-------------------

“What do you mean Kyp has an action figure?!?” Zekk
demanded, following Zek through the
door. Zek sighed, “I said he had a figurine, not an
action figure. There were these little book box sets
a
few years ago that had a little Kyp figurine in it.” 
“Kyp Durron, loser extroardinaire, has a action
figure,
and i don’t?” Zekk asked, still following Zek. Zek
nodded, then turned and walked away. Zekk stood in
the middle of the room for a moment, then ‘Hmph’ed and
walked back out the door he’d come in through. 
A short green figure behind the bar watched him
leave, then chuckled. “Action figure, i have. 
Mine, the resemblance is good. Look like crap,
Skywalker’s figurine does, too many muscles. Still a
whiny farm boy, Luke is. Jedi master my green hiney,”
he grumbled, climbing onto a barstool. “Too
sober to use the Force i am, need liquor i do. Damn
council. Hiding my stash, Adi-Mundi has been. Use
that non-alcoholic beer to shine Mace Windu’s head
even, i would not.”
He looked at the shelves behind the bar. “Hmm, learn
spanish i should, then read the bottles i
would be able to.” “You could try asking,” a voice
rumbled from the darkness beneath the gothic arch. 
Two topaz-gold eyes appeared glowing in the gloom,
with a smirk just barely discernable on the face
beneath them. Yoda twisted his ears back in surpirse.
“Past your bedtime it is, Trelari. Respect your
elders, you will, and leave me alone.”
Kiraan rumbled a chuckle, “Well, i was, and specify
*was* going to help you, but for that...” he
said, turning away toward the stairs. Yoda flashed a
worried look at the bottles. “Wait!” he said, then
looked reluctant as Kiraan stopped and turned around. 
“Umm,” the ancient master stammered,
“Developed a taste for things of this world i have.” 
“Alcohol in particular,” Kiraan rumbled half under
his breath, folding his arms over his chest and
waiting.
Yoda blinked, then continued. “Bad as Windu, you are
getting. Alcoholic, i am not! Require a
little relaxation, even jedi masters do once in a
while!” he said. Kiraan just half-smirked, “Once in a
while is not sneaking out of your own universe in
search of Tequila at least once a week.” Yoda hissed,
“Know nothing you do, Trelari. Not even action figure
do you have. Fanfic, you are! Unofficial, like the
gay Obi-wan in love with the sith, you are! Give me
my damn Tequila you will, or retract your
reinstatement as a Master, i will!”
“And they say the jedi don’t resort to threats and
insults to get what they want,” Kiraan mused
sarcastically. Yoda’s alcohol craving was fed up with
him already. With a insult spat in one of the old
languages, Yoda whipped a napkin rack off the bar at
Kiraan with a wave of his hand. Kiraan dodged,
growling at the little green jedi. “Yoda, for the
first time in my life, and i know i’m going to regret
saying
this, i *Really* don’t want to kill you, so don’t set
me off right now,” Kiraan rumbled, eyes glowing in the
half-lit room.
This time, a coaster flew at him, and Kiraan hissed
at Yoda. “I know i’m going to hate myself
for this,” he growled, glaring at the elder master. 
He took a quick swipe at Yoda with his claws, snagging
three little
nicks in the top edge of his ear, startling the little
master. Kiraan took advantage of the shock to grab
Yoda under the arms and heft him into the air. 
With the speed only a combination of Trelari blood
and jedi training could create, Kiraan took
the few steps to the end of the bar, hefted the
cursing master a little higher, then Force-tossed him
at the
alcove wall. With a few last curses, Yoda dissapeared
through the wall into the portal vortex, vanishing
in a flash of blue energy and a shimmer of
pseudo-movement. Kiraan picked up the little cane
from the
foor behind the bar, then tossed it through the portal
after Yoda. It dissapeared through the wall the same
as its owner had, and Kiraan sighed heavily.
A single, near-mocking clap of applause came from
near the stairs. Aliya stood there, a slight
half-smirk on her face. “Under any other
circumstances, i would have slashed the little mutant
garden
gnome into ribbons and sent him back in a Ziplock
baggie,” Kiraan said. “But in this case, he was not
in his
right mind, and it wouldn’t have been any fun,” he
added. Aliya just smiled, “Yeah, right, whatever,”
she
said, turning and walking back up the stairs.
Kiraan looked back at the wall. “I would have,” he
insisted aloud to himself. “Aww, hell with
it,” he grumbled, storming out of the room.


------end pt 2

------------------
(Back in the Star Wars universe)

“NOOoOOOooooOOOooOOoo!!” Yoda cried, locked in the
infirmary. Mace Windu sighed,
shaking his head. “And i want that closet bricked up,
or at least triple-locked from now on. The last
thing anyone needs is Yoda coming back on another
bender,” Mace said, looking over at one very sullen
jedi apprentice. “Yes Master Windu, though i don’t
see how he got past both myself *and* Master
Qui-gon this time,” Obi-wan said. 
Mace smiled weakly, “The Force can be used to be
sneaky just as well as it can be used to seek
out truth. Master Yoda is going to be locked up in
detox until both the alcoholic cravings *and* his
dark-side tendencies have been flushed from his
system.” “But the council...” Obi-wan began. Mace
smiled, “Perhaps Qui-gon would like to sit in for a
few sessions while Yoda is... otherwise occupied. I
hear you’ve been trying to suggest he keep to the
rules and try for a nomination again.”
Obi-wan smiled sheepishly, “Well, his would be a..
unique perspective to bring into the council,”
he said with a shrug. Windu chuckled, “Unique isn’t
quite the word,” he said. “I’ll have to talk to the
others, but we might just be able to sneak him in for
a few weeks.” He chuckled again, “Though i’m not
quite sure i want to see what happens when Yoda finds
out. He was furious enough when Kiraan was
nominated.”
They both laughed, then Obi-wan looked at him
curiously. “No one’s ever said, Why does Yoda
dislike Kiraan so much?” Mace laughed, “Now that is
one *long* story,” he said, shaking his head. 
“Well, it’s supposed to have started back when Kiraan
first became a Jedi. According to what little i
know, Yoda’s species and Kiraan’s species are natural
enemies or something. Then, of course, Kiraan
rubbing Yoda’s nose in every mistake didn’t help. 
Then there’s Zerran Minor. We still don’t know what
happened there, but Yoda fumed for years about it. 
Rumor goes it had something to do with Qui-gon, but
that’s just a rumor...”

----------------------------------
(Back at the Hotel)

Ulic Qel-Droma ranted furiously into a text-speak
while Xanatos played with a puzzle-cube,
ignoring him. “And i find it an insult to a very fine
character for there to have not even been
consideration of making a Qel-Droma or other figures
from the comic series,” Ulic said, and the little
machine automatically translated it into Earthan
English text on a computer screen. “Why don’t you ask
them to do a ‘Jedi Apprentice’ series of figures while
they’re at it, or at least make a Xanatos figure,”
Xanatos said from the couch. Qel-droma glared, then
returned to his dictation.
Maul just stood in the doorway, shaking his head. 
[Seven o’clock, B5,] Maul said telepathically, 
Xanatos casually hopped off the couch and headed for
the door, casting a glance back at the ranting Sith
Apprentice as he left. “Maul, if either of us succeed
in conquering our own planet, let’s NOT invite him
to visit,” Xan whispered. Maul snickered, “Why would
i invite him when i wouldn’t invite you?” he said,
then walked away down the hall. 
Xanatos glared for a moment, then shrugged.
------

“No, you stupid wanker! Don’t trust Morden! Look
what he did last time!” Evyl Obi cried, then
groaned and tossed popcorn at the T.V. “Next time he
shows up at the club, i’m gonna deck Mr.
Peacock-hair,” he growled, flipping his flame-red
padawan braid over his shoulder. Xanatos stopped next
to Maul at the doorway. “You want to remind me why we
created him?” Maul asked, nodding at the
flame-haired clone. Xanatos just sighed, looking at
the evil padawan as the clone chomped on a handfull
of popcorn.
“That better not be the extra butter popcorn, that’s
for movie night!” Xanatos snapped, walking
over to the couch. A short tug of war ensued, and
Evyl Obi simply released the bowl with a smirk,
sending Xanatos to the floor on his butt. “I just
remembered why we created him,” Maul said, chuckling. 
Xanatos glared from his position on the floor,
brushing popcorn out of his hair. “Yeah, funny,
wonderful
idea,” he growled, swatting angrily at the now-empty
bowl. 
“Technically, even he has an action figure,” Maul
said, smirking. “I did NOT need to hear that!”
Xanatos snapped. He jumped to a stand. “B5 be
dammed, i’m going to end this, once and for all!” he
proclaimed, marching out of the room and heading for
the front door. Maul just shrugged, taking a seat
next to Evyl Obi. Obi had picked up the popcorn bowl
from the floor, and now had it over his head. 
“Hey, look, i’m Dark Helmet from Spaceballs!” Obi
said, laughing. Maul just groaned and shook his
head, covering his eyes in embarrassment. 

-----------------
(Hasbro staff meeting)

“Due to overwhelming demand, we will begin production
of figures from the “Dark lords of the
Sith” comics, and several others,” the man seated at
the head of the table said. The others in the room
barely noticed the two imposing men standing one on
each side of his chair, arms crossed menacingly. 
“We will also be doing a limited edition series from
the ‘Jedi Apprentice’ books,” he continued in the
same near-mechanical tone. “These two men will give
you further instructions,” he finished. Xanatos
and Ulic Qel-Droma exchanged a look and a smirk,
slightly easing their force-grip on the man’s mind.

“You know, you’re not so bad, for a Sith, that is,”
Xanatos said quietly later, studying his
three-dimensional laser scan that would become the
head of his action figure. Ulic smirked, “You’re not
too bad yourself, for a Fallen Jedi,” he said. “I
prefer Dark-Force Adept,” Xanatos said without
glancing
over. Ulic shrugged, “Whatever,” he said, watching
one of the technicians look at them curiously for
about the fiftieth time. He waved his hand at the
man, and he suddenly took on a glazed expression,
going back to his work. 
“I think you enjoy doing that just a tad too much,”
Xan commented. Qel-droma just shrugged,
smirking.


------end pt 3

Weeks later, another mysterious box appeared on the
front steps of the club. Zek brought it
inside, puzzling over the novelty of being MAILED a
package for once. “Hey, Ali, you know anyone in
Rhode Island?” he called, setting the box down on a
table. “No, why?” Aliya said, coming down the
stairs. Zek opened the box, then stood staring for a
moment. “Umm, you’d better go get Kiraan,” Zek
said, staring at the contents of the box.

Kiraan took one look at the box and promptly fell
into a laughing fit. “That.. that one....,” he gasped
between laughs. “ME!” he finally burst out, then
collapsed laughing again. Zek had set the contents of
the box out on the table, and was still awestruck. 
“Well, at least Zekk has his own action figure now,”
he
said distractedly. “Who...?” Zekk began, dumbfounded.
“Three guesses, and the first two don’t count,”
Aliya said, holding up a Xanatos action figure, with
his own menacing blue and black background card.
Kiraan collapsed into laughter again, and even Zekk
snickered this time. “Who’s this guy
supposed to be?” Ariel asked, lifting an Obi-wan
figurine with zebra-striped red and black hair and
black
robes.
----

“Aww, how cuuuuute!” Evyl Obi crooned, hugging his
action figure. “Seriously guys, this one
was too much. How did you get them to do Fanfic
figurines?” he asked. Xanatos and Ulic exchanged a
look and a snicker. “Ooh! Lookie! Hippie Qui-gon
from the Sith Academy! Complete with hemp robes
and bong!” Evyl descended into a giggling fit. “What,
no Ben-wa?” he asked, then started laughing
again. Xanatos just sighed, picking up his figurine
from the pile. 
“At least Kun can’t gripe about not having our own
figurines,” Xan said, studying his figurine. 
“My nose isn’t really that big, is it?” he asked,
tilting the box at an angle curiously. Maul rolled
his eyes,
then walked away. “What?” Xan defended. Qel-droma
snickered, shaking his head. “Hey, where’s
Kun’s? I wanted to show him,” he said, looking down
at the pile.


In the alleyway behind the hotel, Exar Kun quietly
dropped his action figure into the trash can,
then casually squirted an entire can of lighter fluid
into the barrel. He flicked a finger, ignighting a
spark
in midair with the force, setting the trash can
ablaze. 
“I still do not like the idea of some five-year old
playing with a plastic representation of myself,”
he grumbled quietly. “And i will not have that
psychotic flame-haired fanfic monstrosity touching
one,”
he added, squirting another can of lighter fluid into
the trash can. “Besides, it dosen’t even look like
me,”
he grumbled, watching the little wad of plastic melt.

-------------------------end